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  • anita replied to the topic Bands similar to Norah Jones in the forum Fun 8 minutes ago

    Dear Unavailable:

    I am trying to understand the situation. You can help me by answering these questions:

    You are a young woman. How old?

    She is also a young woman. How old?

    The two of you live far away from each other. How far? Is it a different country?

    Are you employed? Is she employed?

    Are you living with your mother? Are you intending…[Read more]

  • Christina became a registered member 23 minutes ago

  • Gill became a registered member 41 minutes ago

  • anita replied to the topic Bands similar to Norah Jones in the forum Fun 45 minutes ago

    Dear Unavailable:

    I missed something along the way of our latest communication: your girlfriend was looking for a place, I thought, for just the two of you. So, she was looking for a place for the three of you? And you and I were all excited about her looking for a place for you, herself …and her mother?

    Why were we so excited?

    anita

  • DaraLiel became a registered member 1 hour, 26 minutes ago

  • Thanks, yea I don’t really want to live with her mother, but its just until we can afford a place. I hope so too

  • Confused25 became a registered member 1 hour, 29 minutes ago

  • Dear Nan:

    What a story! A few things that come to my mind (all at once, I have to slow down my thinking):

    The dance of aggression: not different than in a herd of elks (have lots of those around where I live)- the subtle confrontations in a restaurant, similar to two males fighting for who is going to mate with the females. They lock horns and…[Read more]

  • tessa became a registered member 1 hour, 57 minutes ago

  • Dear ava:

    You are welcome!

    You wrote that you understand your boss’s pressure and in your understanding it, you submitted to it, let it in you to harm you? Is that what you wrote? If so, do you mean that when a person has a reason for bullying you (something distresses them) then it is okay to be bullying you?

    I would like to reply to what you…[Read more]

  • anita replied to the topic Can I change? in the forum Relationships 2 hours, 18 minutes ago

    Dear Shelly:

    You are welcome and thank you for the update! It seems like it is over. I definitely don’t trust the guy anymore, that is his 1/27 emotional outburst (the word that comes to mind) has proven untrustworthy… again. Again, he said that the two of you can work it out and again, he did not follow through. I am thinking he is quite…[Read more]

  • Dear Ladybug:

    I think your observations and analysis are excellent! One such is that you internalize, thinking you did something wrong, and he externalizes, points to another that they did something wrong! I know this dynamic personally and from my personal experience, I too learned (wish I learned it earlier than I did!) that being nice to a…[Read more]

  • Dear Matty:

    I am glad you started this thread and am very curious about you, so whatever time you took is the time I am interested in giving. And I am interested in learning from you, so as far as I am concerned, this thread is not over… that is, as far as my motivation goes. I am so interested in understanding your contentment being alone-…[Read more]

  • Hello Jack or Jock?

    A new member here, and I can relate to this, and here’s my fair share when it comes to individual’s suffering. It is real and it exists, my question is how can you shield yourself, while upholding your truth, and still be enjoying the company you are used to, ex. relatives, colleagues, friends?
    Recently in my work environment;…[Read more]

  • Hello Jack or Jock?

    A new member here, and I can relate to this, and here’s my fair share when it comes to individual’s suffering. It is real and it exists, my question is how can you shield yourself, while upholding your truth, and still be enjoying the company you are used to, ex. relatives, colleagues, friends?
    Recently in my work environment;…[Read more]

  • Hello again Anita,
    To make it less confusing, I am going to code them R-1 (college husband#1) and R-2 (current husband#2) Both have names starting with R.
    I have had two major blow-ups with R-2 in all these years married. In those 2 blow-ups, I was pushed back onto the bed, or pushed up against a wall and screamed at inches from my face. A few…[Read more]

  • Self-hatred, shame and similar core emotions are not uncommon and usually result from childhood, being raised by parents who criticize and disapprove relentlessly. This leaves a deep emotional scar – a core emotion – that then leads to all kinds of emotional, cognitive and behavioral reactivity, including bulimia, BDD, addiction and…[Read more]

  • Sarah became a registered member 4 hours, 30 minutes ago

  • Hi sbtravels,

    I like the Flylady.net website. With her system the house practically runs itself!

    With relationships, make a standing date. One year we got season theatre tickets way in advance and that forced us to go out to dinner before, get out of our house and have a good time! With friends and family, just writing a text or FB post or…[Read more]

  • Hi sbtravels

    I have struggled with this in the past. I work a 9-5 job and have a 45 minute commute each way. I also have my own flat, garden and allotment plus there are places I want to visit and a hundred different things I would like to do and experience in my free time. At times (spring/summer) this has felt overwhelming.

    My solution has…[Read more]

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