“Happiness can only be found if you free yourself from all other distractions.” ~Saul Bellow
When I was 20, I bought my first serious piece of furniture.
It was a sofa covered in a nubby sort of fabric, a creamy shade of white with tan and light brown threads woven through that made the modern style seem warm and welcoming.… Read More
“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” ~Theodore I. Rubin
I live in a rainy city. For most of the winter it’s endless grey—weeks in which you’re lucky to get a glimpse of the sun at all.… Read More
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~Buddha
I have a confession: I’m mildly obsessed with anger.
Not the negative feelings, the volatile outbursts, or the fly-off-the-handle reactions, but rather, how humans express anger.… Read More
“Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.” ~Unknown
I’m a woman in midlife who thought she was set after a long successful career and the promise of financial security. I supported my own way through most of my life, fending for myself and then my two children, even during a 15-year marriage that ended badly and another that never really began.… Read More
“Pleasure can be supported by an illusion, but happiness rests upon truth.” ~Sebastien-Roch Nicolas De Chamfort
In today’s world, we are bombarded day by day and moment by moment with images and messages of who we should be, what we should be doing, and exactly how we should be doing it.… Read More
“If you learn from a loss you have not lost.” ~Austin O’Malley
The police officer walked toward me, leaving the multi-car accident behind him as he placed a bloody wallet in my hand. He asked me to open it up and verify that this property was indeed my best friend’s, who also happened to be my only brother.… Read More
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama
Several years ago, a colleague and I were invited to give a presentation on mindfulness at our State Mental Health Conference. I was a novice and flattered to be asked.
Singing bowls, which are metal and look like a mortar and pestle, are useful tools in mindfulness practice.… Read More
“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabel Allende
Until the age of eleven, courage was just a seven-letter word to me. It meant nothing. I knew all about fear though. Those four letters pierced through every inch of my being.
I still remember the sheer terror of visiting a theme park.… Read More
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick
I remember one day when I was around six years old, my older brother came home from school with one of those star-shaped highlighters that had a different color on each point.… Read More
“He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.” ~Proverb
August 3, 2001. I still remember it like it was yesterday. It was around six o’clock in the evening when she sat us down. Luther Vandross was singing in the background on the radio: “And it’s so amazing and amazing, I can stay forever and forever.… Read More
“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~Paul Coelho
I will never forget that day.
It is still as clear in my mind as if it were yesterday.
My son was just a little over three. He was going to a mainstream kindergarten and, well, his teacher had very gently suggested we seek a professional’s help.… Read More
“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Malachy McCourtro
I was completely unprepared for the emotional hailstorm that bombarded me when, back in 2001, I learned that my wife had been having an affair with my best friend of twenty-plus years.
My normal, predictable life (which I absolutely loved, by the way) had been virtually shattered overnight.… Read More
“Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.” ~Alice Duer Miller
As an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a relative, I had become accustomed to keeping secrets. Silence, I was taught, was a good thing. It protected people that I loved.
So for over a decade, I carried the dark and overbearing weight of my past in secrecy and in silence, believing I was the only one in the world who’d ever experienced such abuse—until I learned from a college workshop that one in four women and one in five men fall victim to sexual abuse by the time they are eighteen.… Read More
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou
As a child, I got bombarded with the message that I was too much. Everywhere I turned, people said I was too loud, too smart, too heavy, too talkative, too impulsive, too intense, too happy, too forward, too silly.… Read More
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Conventional notions of what it means to love are populated with expectations for reciprocity that often get us into trouble. I know this personally, because whenever I have “freely” given my love, and it has not been rewarded with reciprocity, I have often come face to face with my resentment.… Read More
“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest good intention.” ~Oscar Wilde
Three times in the last two months I have nearly been run over by a fellow shopper’s grocery cart. Each time the customer rushing closely behind me had to suddenly swerve and push past, clearly annoyed with the obstacle, which was me.… Read More
“In chaos, there is fertility.” ~Anais Nin
How did I get to this point?
This question pulsed through my brain repeatedly as I drove to my parents’ house in a state of complete exhaustion. My young daughter was strapped in the back seat, my pregnant belly pushing against the steering wheel, hot tears streaming down my face.… Read More
“When you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.” – Eckhart Tolle
One day several years ago, I was fraught with anxiety over with how to handle an uncomfortable personnel situation at work. I had an employee that was borderline explosive and insubordinate.… Read More