“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.” ~Eckhart Tolle
We have this strange need or conditioning to not take responsibility for our own happiness. We expect it to come from an outside source.
It can happen, but it’s fleeting.… Read More
“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” ~Henri Nouwen
Once upon a time I was on a relentless hunt for happiness. I’d root around for it in romantic relationships, search for it in visits to exotic locales, and scour self-help sections of bookstores, hoping to run across a volume that, once and for all, would reveal its thorny secrets.… Read More
“The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually fearing that you’ll make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard
There have been times in my life when I knew I was stuck, but instead of dealing with it I chose to backpedal to the “safest bet” for me at the time, whether it was the steady paycheck from a soul-crushing job or an abusive relationship.… Read More
“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown
Often these days, I would like nothing more than to move forward. If I could only figure out which way was forward, I would definitely start heading in that direction.… Read More
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.” ~Unknown
A couple of months ago my dear friend and I were chatting over coffee.
The subject turned into past relationships and the reasons why they didn’t work. My friend shared a story about her ex-fiancé—one of those this-clearly-isn’t-going-to-work-but-I-sure-will-try-my-hardest-since-I-don’t-give-up ones.… Read More
“Your value doesn’t decrease by someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…says Lady Liberty. She was speaking to immigrants wanting to start a new promised life in America, but those words could be my tagline for the men I have had my most intimate relationships with.… Read More
“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” ~Sylvia Plath
Singing professionally has always been something I have wanted to do. Always. The home I grew up in wasn’t a particularly musical household, unless you count playing the radio as playing an instrument.
To my benefit, there was a lot of music in our home ranging from gospel to the Beach Boys; but really nothing beyond the sixties was allowed unless it was a spiritual song of some kind.… Read More
“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown
Self-doubt has been a companion that has followed me around like a trained dog follows his master. Every step I’ve made outside of my comfort zone, it’s been there, right beside me.… Read More
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” ~Marianne Williamson
I used to have this secret habit of flipping through the DSM—The Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders—and diagnosing myself with every disorder in the book.
Reading over the criteria for borderline personality disorder, cigarette in hand and eyes wide open, I scanned the diagnosis criteria.… Read More
“If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles.” ~Wayne Dyer
I sat, exhausted and alone after a long night, on the stairs outside the train station.
It was 3:00AM, and it was raining. I’d been drinking all night and I wanted nothing more than the warmth of my bed.… Read More
“There is a kind of beauty in imperfection.” ~Conrad Hall
Back when I was a teenager, I was kind of a perfectionist. Or, well, I wasn’t really a perfectionist—I was actually a “fake” perfectionist.
Allow me to explain: I put on the perfectionist persona. I acted and behaved in a certain way so that everyone (including both my fellow classmates and teachers) thought and believed that I was the perfect student when I wasn’t.… Read More
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.” ~Eckhart Tolle
For thirteen years I’ve lived a high-risk lifestyle that focuses very much on the here and now, because I’m an entrepreneur, and that means making lots of fast decisions that affect the future.… Read More
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” ~Unknown
I would love to identify as someone who, when her relationships crumble either gradually or all at once, is able to wipe her hands clean and go about her life without any closure.
I fantasize about the tears, time, and energy I would save if I didn’t feel the need for closure and if I didn’t agonize about trying to have these heartfelt and “necessary” conversations with the people with whom I’ve had falling outs.… Read More
“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl
Bullies are everywhere. One of the most insidious and destructive forms of bullying is family bullying, because it’s often done in the name of love.
As someone who was bullied by family members for more years than I care to count, I spent a lot of time learning that most of the bullying going on was not about me or my failings—it was more about what other people needed to unload.… Read More
“Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” ~Benjamin Disraeli
Three years ago, at twenty-five, I had a breakdown that stole over two years of my life and almost killed me.
People often think of breakdowns like car accidents—one almighty crash that results in the dissolution of that person’s being.… Read More
“To be nobody but yourself in a world doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human can ever fight and never stop fighting.” ~e.e. cummings
I’m gay. I’m married to a woman and we have a beautiful daughter together. I also have an ex–boyfriend that I was with for quite a significant time.… Read More
“I’ve learned that making a living is not the same things as making a life.” ~Maya Angelou
My friend Nick and I were talking one day about our plans for after graduation. We talked about marriage and whether our religious beliefs would factor into our weddings when the time came, or whether our mothers would just run the whole show.… Read More
“Most of us have two lives: the life we live, and the unlived life within us.” ~Steven Pressfield
We are so scared of the unknown. Anything that we haven’t yet experienced can lead to fear.
I will forever remember my first time skydiving. I was absolutely terrified. Are you sure this parachute is going to open up?… Read More