“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
For a long time I joked that if I had a time machine, I would go back to 1989 and give my sixteen-year-old self a swift butt kicking. But then a few months ago, on my fortieth birthday, a friend posted a picture of me at sixteen on Facebook.… Read More
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Just about everyone experiences sorrow at times. I know I do.
The other morning, in fact, I was caught off guard by a very particular sorrow. Nothing happened, per se; but from the moment I awoke, I felt an aching sense of sadness and loss at the fact that my career path has taken me away from the field of mental health counseling.… Read More
“If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey
Two days before, I had been in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, thirty-six weeks pregnant and screaming with pain. It was excruciating, the worst pain I had ever experienced—and I had experienced lots.… Read More
“Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
There were monsters in my closet—or so my five-year-old self believed. As soon as my mother kissed me goodnight and flipped the lights off, they would appear.
See, in my room, the sliding closet doors were kept open, and on the top three shelves, monsters would magically appear in the darkness.… Read More
“At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” ~Jack Kornfield
When I was seven years old, I almost died.
My family and I were at Central Station in Sydney, Australia to celebrate the last steam train to ever depart the station.… Read More
“Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” ~Unknown
Ever since I was a young girl, relationships have fascinated me, particularly romantic ones. I had beautiful fantasies of my perfect partner appearing and completing me. We would fall in love and live happily ever after.
As a child, I believed that being in a romantic relationship, and especially being married, meant lasting happiness.… Read More
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C. S. Lewis
Another year over and you’re still troubled by a relationship that ended last year or in years past. The whole thing is dragging on too long—why can’t you just get over it?… Read More
“There is no reason to reach high for the stars. They are already within you. Just reach deep into yourself.” ~Unknown
I left a big job at a hedge fund in New York City nearly eight years ago. I was far from certain the job was to blame for my unhappiness at that time, but it was the biggest, boldest action I could take to make me feel like I was doing something to help my cause.… Read More
“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” ~Epictetus
Performance reviews. Assessments. Evaluations. The dreaded annual review. Most of us have run into some kind of quality assurance technique while employed in the American workforce, or at least know someone who has.… Read More
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami
“You have to be strong.”
Those were five words I heard without end after my father was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on Black Friday 2012—a day that couldn’t have been more aptly named.… Read More
“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl
In the spring of 2008 when my son was only seven months old, I received a text message from his stay-at-home dad while I was at work. The text read, “He’s in the crib.” I did not respond because those five words said everything I needed to know.… Read More
“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins
I’ve recently begun to feel as though I am at a crossroads in my career and, as a result, have been feeling very uncomfortable.
I love what I do, working with clients and mentoring new therapists, however, I’m also a mom to two little ones and am feeling the ache of the impermanence of their childhood.… Read More
“Mistakes are a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them and willing to learn from them.” ~Unknown
We have all made mistakes and bad decisions in life. I have made more than most. Learning from these moments can be a paradigm shift if we discover the opportunity that is always present.… Read More
“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield
Several years ago, within a matter of months, I experienced the death of a parent, the breakdown of a committed relationship, and the death of a treasured animal companion.
I’d been doing okay with “normal” life tension, but when all that crap hit the fan… Wow.… Read More
“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown
Ten years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I wasn’t really my own best friend.
I was in college and although things were going okay with my studies, I wasn’t very happy.… Read More
“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu
I know how you feel.
You know you shouldn’t eat that cookie, but it’s as if there’s something from deep within that compels you to move your arm forward, pick it up, and consume it in one, grandiosely guilty gesture.… Read More
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Here I am, huddled up close to the wood burner, my only source of heat, sitting on an old recliner chair that was given to me, in a rented apartment with windows soaked with condensation.… Read More
“If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” ~Unknown
The year that I graduated from college with my undergraduate degree, I was beyond enthusiastic about being a teacher.
I was absolutely confident that I was a very gifted communicator and that I had a great deal to offer to the field of education.… Read More
“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown
Sometimes it feels as if you are completely in control of your life, but when it comes to relationships there is always the other person.
In a relationship, you cannot be the puppeteer. People have their own emotions, behaviors, actions, beliefs, scars, wounds, fears, dreams, and perspectives.… Read More
“Remember that happiness is a way of travel—not a destination.” ~Roy M. Goodman
After graduating from college I took off to explore Europe for four months with one of my best friends.
We backpacked through fourteen different countries and learned things about the world and ourselves that we never expected. We often joked that we learned more about life and ourselves traveling abroad for four months than we did going to school for four years in college.… Read More