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How to Beat Insomnia and Get a Good Night’s Sleep (A Spiritual Approach)

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

 

“Our spiritual mission is not to ignore the darkness, but to bring light to the darkness.” ~Marianne Williamson                              

It’s 3:17AM. You’ve been staring at the clock since 1:42AM, mind racing, body tense. In five hours you’re going to have to drag yourself to work, terrified that you’re going to fall asleep at your desk—again.

If you have trouble sleeping, you’re not alone. I know what it feels like to lie awake, reliving mistakes, making lists of things that might go wrong, waiting for sleep that never seems to come.

In fact, almost one-third of the adult population in the US …

How I Escaped the Negative Thought Loop That Kept Me Down and Stuck

By in Blog, happiness & fun, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts.” ~Philip Arnold

Do you ever doubt yourself? As if no matter how hard you try, it’s never enough.

Do you always tell yourself that you could do more? Or that somebody else is doing more, so why aren’t you on their level?

I’m not good enough.

Do you keep your thoughts to yourself because you feel as though your opinion doesn’t matter?

I’m not smart enough.

Or how about when you’re casually scrolling through social media? You see beautiful people taking such …

Your Story Shapes Your Life—and You Can Change It At Any Time

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Every moment of your life is a second chance.” ~Rick Price

We are constantly telling ourselves stories about who we are and what we are capable of achieving.

These stories are sometimes the nostalgia of once-upon-a-time that whispers longingly to us. The stories can be the remnants of hardened pain that want us to trace over the lines of old scars. They can also be the tales we invent about imagined futures—what we think will happen.

All of the narratives that we repeat to ourselves—both of the fiction and nonfiction varieties—are what we internalize and use to create self-identity.

Wait …

What a Felon Taught Me About Living Life Fully

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I met Damon as one of about twenty ex-cons on a hiking expedition up Pike’s Peak. Like the others, he was kind of free, kind of not, released on good behavior to the halfway house and rehab center at which I was interning.

Damon had very recently tasted freedom after many years in the clink, and he was an extremely severe and intimidating individual. A man of very few words, 220 pounds of solid, athletic muscle, and eyes as cold as ice. …

How to Keep Going When Doubts and Fears are Holding You Back

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” ~Vincent Van Gogh

I don’t think there is anything more liberating.

At least nothing I’ve experienced at this point in my life.

I’m sure it’s happened to some of you. Probably more times than you can count.

The freedom I’m alluding to here is the moment when you do something that a part of your mind didn’t believe was possible.

Interestingly, the word ecstasy comes from the Greek ekastis, meaning “to step outside of oneself.”

And when …

50 People Share What They’re Grateful to Do Every Day

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

At night, when you think about how you spent your day, how often do you focus on all the things you had to do?

I worked. I ran errands. I went to the gym. I made dinner.

And when you tell someone about this kind of day, how often do you do it with a less-than-enthused tone?

I suspect this is the norm for many of us, at least during the workweek.

Commitments, to work and family, can engulf our lives and seem like chores, not choices and chances.

I distinctly remember one day, years ago, when my day felt …

How Getting Dumped Before My Wedding Made Me a Better Person

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“The root of suffering is attachment.” ~The Buddha

Getting dumped a few weeks before my wedding was the most painful experience of my life to date, but how I came through it is the single proudest moment of my life.

When I met with his mother four years after the breakup, she said she’d felt so guilty over these past few years. “I loved you like a daughter, and he’s my son—I never want any of my children to feel that pain.”

I told her I was glad it happened, not for the fact that the breakup needed to …

13 Insights About Relationships That Could Save You A Lot of Pain

By in Blog, love & relationships

“It’s amazing how quickly someone can become a stranger; it’s even more amazing how quickly someone can become a treasured friend.” ~Unknown

The past six months have been unbelievably difficult for me.

My “normal” life turned upside down and inside out, as my beautiful daughter continues to fight a complex pain condition, which took us all by surprise one bright and sunny Monday afternoon. And literally, in a single heartbeat, just like that, instead of a regular routine day of school, work and afternoon activities, our time was consumed with juggling doctors, hospitals, tests, and specialists—all of us fully devoted …

The Art of Saying No: Lessons from a Caregiver

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

There it is again. Another person asks me for help. There’s a sharp pull inside of me to stop what I am doing and give.

And the internal struggle comes up.

I should just say yes and help them. What’s it take to write out a few text lines? An extra phone call? It’s not so bad, I tell myself. You are, after all, a caregiver.

My internal voice is so strong. It has been with me for a long time, this …

Life’s Too Short to Be Too Busy: How to Make the Most of Your Time

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Slow down. Calm down. Don’t worry. Don’t hurry. Trust the process.” ~Alexandra Stoddard

 Heard in the offices across America…

“I’m so busy and have no time!”

“How is it almost 2019 already?!”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead…”

We’re so focused on the next deadline, getting the next promotion, having the approval of our managers and peers alike that we push, push, push all the time.

Oh, how I can relate! I worked in corporate America commuting into NYC (two hours each way!) as the VP of marketing at a major media company. And I worked… a lot.

When I …

Acknowledging That We’re Not Okay is the Only Way to Make Things Better

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your own understanding.” ~Khalil Gibran

There was a time in my life where I felt like everything needed to seem okay.

I had trouble achieving emotional closeness in my relationships, I was unsatisfied in my career, and I struggled with at times severe anxiety and depression. But I was always “okay,” and actually went great lengths to hide any sign that I wasn’t.

I kept myself busy to avoid seeming “lame” by having nothing to do, or perhaps to avoid the feelings that would come up if I had …

How to Love Yourself into Speaking Up When You’re Frozen in Fear

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Always speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.” ~Unknown

You may not want to admit this to others, but I know the truth about you.

You freeze, clam up, and shut down when tensions rise and your spidey-sense detects a hint of conflict in the air. You run for cover during the storm, and when it’s over, you judge yourself for not having delivered the perfect soliloquy in the heat of the moment to convey your point and get what you need and deserve.

And then you collapse into a hot mess of blame and shame.

I get it. …

How to Honor Your Sensitivity (Because It’s Actually a Strength)

By in Blog, change & challenges, healthy habits

“The opposite of sensitive is not ‘tough.’ It’s insensitive. Sensitivity is a gift. Let’s nurture it, not squash it.” ~Glennon Doyle

I would run no matter how much snow and ice there was, no matter how tired I was or how much my joints hurt. Even if I was hungover. It didn’t matter. Sometimes I would be in incredible pain, but I wouldn’t stop.

I worked as a tree planter in the summers and got paid per tree. I would push as hard as possible, sometimes planting as many as 3,000 trees in one day. And, not surprisingly, I had …

The Secret to Ending Your Suffering

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“You can have your experience without your experience having you.” ~Linda Pransky

You’re no doubt aware that your moods can fluctuate from day to day, even moment to moment. I think most people can appreciate, when they really consider it, that their state of mind is a big variable in their experience of life. What they don’t always see is that their state of mind is responsible for 100% of their experience.

The problem is, it’s often hard to remember this or feel consoled by this when you’re stuck, living in your head, feeling bad.

When you’re stuck in anxious…

Moving Through Grief: I’m Strong Because I Feel It All

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.” ~Unknown

It’s been almost six months now. Half of a year without my brother and the grief still visits. I’m pretty sure grief doesn’t actually go away; its visits just get further and further apart.

People continue to ask me how I am so “strong” through all of this, mistaking my happy moments as the full picture.

I continue to tell them strength comes because I feel it all.

The story in itself is my …

How Observing My Emotions Helps Me Let Go of Anger and Anxiety

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“Even when in the midst of disturbance, the stillness of the mind can offer sanctuary.” ~Stephen Richards

One night my four-year-old daughter woke up crying, startling both me and my husband from sleep. He rushed into her room and I came in shortly thereafter, and I immediately got annoyed with how he was handling the situation. I’ll admit this now: I can’t even remember what he did, but in that moment I knew I would have done it differently and it made me feel irritable and angry.

I left the room and went into the bathroom. While I …

Why Moving Didn’t Solve Any of My Problems

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.” ~Neil Gaiman

When I had the chance to relocate to Vancouver some years ago, the opportunity also came with the distinct need to try something new and leave my comfort zone. To be quite honest, I had also become frustrated with many things in my life at the time: work, friendships, relationships including family, and the general “noise” that I felt I couldn’t avoid.

I was beginning to lose my temper more easily. I found excuses to shorten visits with family and friends or to avoid visiting in the first place. …

How to Feel More in Control When Life Gets Overwhelming

By in Blog, change & challenges

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~Confucius

I’m in the middle of a career transition and it hasn’t been easy. For the first few months after quitting my job—a job which I thought should have been perfect, where I thought I would stay for years—I was paralyzed into inaction regarding anything career-related. I had lost confidence in my own judgment; after all, I had thought that job would be the one and it wasn’t, so did I even really know what I wanted?

This kind of self-doubt makes …

Are You Wasting Your Time?

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Life is what happens while we’re busy worrying about everything we need to change or accomplish. Slow down, get mindful, and try to enjoy the moment. This moment is your life.” ~Lori Deschene

I was on my way to work. At the time I worked at a bar. It was a Thursday night and my shift started at 8:50 PM. I was running late. I was in a hurry. It happened a block away from my job.

The green light changed and the world stopped. The next thing I remembered I was waking up in an ambulance. The paramedics asked …

How Doing Less Can Help You Have More of What Matters

By in Blog, healthy habits, letting go

“Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not.” ~Cal Newport

Our culture celebrates the image of being able to get it all done. Having it all. Juggling work and life, while being a massive success at both. Having the big house, the shiny new car, the wife or husband, kids, and pets waiting for us with big smiles at the end of each and every day. Always being happy. Feeling constantly fulfilled. Living a life packed full of sunshine, light, and adventure in every single moment.

It’s a nice image. It’s pretty intoxicating. It’s also largely a myth. …