“Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.” ~Buddha
I used to be the queen of putting my foot in my mouth. I’d say the first thing that came into my head without thinking.
My intentions were always good and I’d never deliberately offend or hurt anyone, but it landed me in trouble more than once.… Read More
“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha
I once attended a lecture given by a world-renowned expert on post-traumatic stress disorder. The lecture made two points that I have never forgotten. I call them “brain tricks.”
1. Given a choice, our primitive brain will naturally select for the negative.… Read More
“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown
A few weeks ago, I walked into my studio apartment and found it quite messy, which isn’t that hard to do with 325 square feet shared by a couple.
I’m talking clothes on the floor, dishes on the couch, and paper strewn everywhere.… Read More
“Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.” ~Basho
For over three years, I’ve been living out of a suitcase and traveling around the world doing a combination of volunteering, housesitting, and couch surfing.
This journey started after I decided to drastically change my life. In the span of a week, I filed for divorce, quit my high-paying job in New York, left my PhD program at an Ivy League school, sold all my stuff, and flew to South America.… Read More
“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~Kahlil Gibran
A few years shy of my fiftieth birthday, I went on a road trip with one of my best friends from high school. We’d taken some version of this trip many times during our teens and twenties, but as we started raising young children, we didn’t have much time for getaways.… Read More
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
For a long time I joked that if I had a time machine, I would go back to 1989 and give my sixteen-year-old self a swift butt kicking. But then a few months ago, on my fortieth birthday, a friend posted a picture of me at sixteen on Facebook.… Read More
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Just about everyone experiences sorrow at times. I know I do.
The other morning, in fact, I was caught off guard by a very particular sorrow. Nothing happened, per se; but from the moment I awoke, I felt an aching sense of sadness and loss at the fact that my career path has taken me away from the field of mental health counseling.… Read More
“If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey
Two days before, I had been in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, thirty-six weeks pregnant and screaming with pain. It was excruciating, the worst pain I had ever experienced—and I had experienced lots.… Read More
“Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
There were monsters in my closet—or so my five-year-old self believed. As soon as my mother kissed me goodnight and flipped the lights off, they would appear.
See, in my room, the sliding closet doors were kept open, and on the top three shelves, monsters would magically appear in the darkness.… Read More
“At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” ~Jack Kornfield
When I was seven years old, I almost died.
My family and I were at Central Station in Sydney, Australia to celebrate the last steam train to ever depart the station.… Read More
“Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” ~Unknown
Ever since I was a young girl, relationships have fascinated me, particularly romantic ones. I had beautiful fantasies of my perfect partner appearing and completing me. We would fall in love and live happily ever after.
As a child, I believed that being in a romantic relationship, and especially being married, meant lasting happiness.… Read More
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C. S. Lewis
Another year over and you’re still troubled by a relationship that ended last year or in years past. The whole thing is dragging on too long—why can’t you just get over it?… Read More
“There is no reason to reach high for the stars. They are already within you. Just reach deep into yourself.” ~Unknown
I left a big job at a hedge fund in New York City nearly eight years ago. I was far from certain the job was to blame for my unhappiness at that time, but it was the biggest, boldest action I could take to make me feel like I was doing something to help my cause.… Read More
“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” ~Epictetus
Performance reviews. Assessments. Evaluations. The dreaded annual review. Most of us have run into some kind of quality assurance technique while employed in the American workforce, or at least know someone who has.… Read More
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami
“You have to be strong.”
Those were five words I heard without end after my father was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on Black Friday 2012—a day that couldn’t have been more aptly named.… Read More
“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl
In the spring of 2008 when my son was only seven months old, I received a text message from his stay-at-home dad while I was at work. The text read, “He’s in the crib.” I did not respond because those five words said everything I needed to know.… Read More
“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins
I’ve recently begun to feel as though I am at a crossroads in my career and, as a result, have been feeling very uncomfortable.
I love what I do, working with clients and mentoring new therapists; however, I’m also a mom to two little ones and am feeling the ache of the impermanence of their childhood.… Read More
“Mistakes are a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them and willing to learn from them.” ~Unknown
We have all made mistakes and bad decisions in life. I have made more than most. Learning from these moments can be a paradigm shift if we discover the opportunity that is always present.… Read More
“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield
Several years ago, within a matter of months, I experienced the death of a parent, the breakdown of a committed relationship, and the death of a treasured animal companion.
I’d been doing okay with “normal” life tension, but when all that crap hit the fan… Wow.… Read More
“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown
Ten years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I wasn’t really my own best friend.
I was in college and although things were going okay with my studies, I wasn’t very happy.… Read More