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If Self-Love Seems Difficult, Start with Self-Like

By in Blog, love & relationships

“It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine.” ~Byron Katie

Self-love is a word that gets used a lot. Overused, in fact.

The pressures and associations around the phrase “self-love” are immense. At school, we actually tore apart girls who loved themselves, as if it was such a bad thing. As teenagers, we saw self-love as big headed and arrogant.

If only we knew the harm that we were doing, not just to others but most of all to ourselves.

So how about we begin with self-like?

I definitely felt that I had to try to get people …

How High Expectations Can Lead to Disappointment, Depression, and Anxiety

By in Blog, happiness & fun, letting go, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ~Alexander Pope

I was sitting on the couch in my bedroom, at sunset, looking at the trees outside my window. I felt a profound sadness, frustration, disappointment, and desperation taking me over.

While I was staring into oblivion, all my expectations came flashing to my mind.

“No, this is not what my life was supposed to be. I was supposed to be successful. I was supposed to have my own house. I was supposed to be happy. What happened?”

What happened was that I am part of the …

Why The Old Adage “Enjoy Every Moment” May Be More Harmful Than Helpful

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.” ~Francis Bacon

One phrase my husband and I have heard often since becoming new parents—heck, since I was still waddling my way through my last trimester—is, “It goes so fast.” This is most often delivered by another more seasoned mother with an all-knowing shake of her head and a longing gaze at my once rotund belly, or now at our beautiful boy.

We smile and nod, silently agreeing to the harsh reality of time. Which inevitably leads to the dreaded follow up, “Enjoy every moment!” …

Why We Can’t Have Healthy, Happy Relationships Without Self-Love

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Worry about loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” ~Unknown

Body image and self-love have been my biggest struggles. They’ve affected every area of my life, including relationships.

I developed anorexia in high school after experiencing a number of losses in a short period of time.

During my high school years I didn’t date much. I had a few boyfriends, but the relationships never progressed because I was afraid of intimacy, due to the fact that I was uncomfortable in my skin and didn’t like my body.

I had body dysmorphia, thinking I was overweight …

True Connection Happens When We Release Cynicism and Judgment

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” ~Bill Nye

It’s cool to be a little cynical, right? We’ve all seen the movies; we know an air of ennui and a well-cultivated sneer is all a person needs to get by.

When I was in my early twenties I used to archly describe myself as an “optimistic cynic.” To me, it sounded cool. I was playing in bands, and I’d decided this was how I wanted to show up to the world.

Back then I responded to everything, whether good or bad, exciting or not, through a filter of …

3 Ways to Tell If You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The harder you fight to hold onto specific assumptions, the more likely there’s gold in letting them go.” ~John Seely Brown

It was Christmas night and I was ecstatic. He would be there any minute.

I touched up my gloss and gave myself a quick once over in the hallway mirror. Despite having had a hearty dinner at my Mum’s, my stomach was flat and my dress fit me like a glove, enveloping my curves perfectly. I was ready and raring to go.

Glancing at the clock, I wondered where he was. I double checked my phone to see if …

What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Going Through a Breakup or Divorce

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Good friends help you to find important things when you have lost them…your smile, your hope and your courage.” ~Doe Zantamata 

Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is one of hardest, if the not the hardest, trial you might be faced with in life. Unfortunately, unless you’ve experienced it firsthand, it’s very hard to believe this statement.

For most of my fifteen-year relationship, I didn’t believe it. Sure, I commiserated with friends who were suffering through breakups, but I did so with a superiority complex, a judgment about how they got themselves into that situation through relationship neglect.…

Why Self-Help Shouldn’t Be About Trying to “Fix” Yourself

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re not broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.” ~Steve Maraboli

The other day I had some time to kill before a meeting, so I decided to go to one of my favorite places, Chapters Bookstore. When I walked in, I immediately headed toward the self-help section to pick up Brene Brown’s Rising Strong (great read, by the way).

As I was searching for her book, I noticed an unusual number of people browsing the same shelves, searching for their self-help book of choice.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with this. The …

How I Stopped Feeling Hopeless and Healed from Depression

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Abandon the idea that you will forever be the victim of the things that have happened to you. Choose to be the victor.” ~Seth Adam Smith

I come from a history of abuse and mental illness on both sides of my family. I felt the effects of both growing up. By my twenties, I was a mess.

I suffered from wild mood swings and severe depression, either lashing out or completely numb and disinterested. I was using alcohol to numb myself from reality, and it was only a matter of time before I’d end up in jail or dead.

I …

Create Peace, Presence, and Happiness: Yoga eCourse by Seane Corn

By in Blog

Have you ever ended a long day by stretching your arms up, almost in slow motion, while taking a deep breath through a wide-open mouth? I do this all the time, and it never fails to invigorate me.

It’s relaxing, calming, and incredibly grounding. Nothing pulls you into the present moment and helps you let go of the past like fully embodying your body.

Yoga’s a lot like this—except you get to enjoy this sensation over a longer period of time, and reap even more physical and emotional benefits.

In addition to helping you build muscle strength, yoga prevents digestive …

Why I’m Broke, Single, and Happier Than Ever (and How You Can Be Happier Too)

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“You must make your dream a priority in order for it to become your life.” ~Bob Proctor.

I am sitting in the courtyard of the little place I’ve just moved into, an old washhouse separate from a beautiful big Victorian house, by the coast in Cornwall.

The washhouse is no bigger than a shed; it consists of a living space and a wet room.

I sleep on a day bed, which doubles as my sofa. My neat, compact kitchen is approximately two steps from my bed/sofa, and the wet room houses a shower, toilet, and sink.

I’m thirty-two, and I …

4 Steps to Let Go of Stress, Negativity, and Emotional Pain

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“It’s not the bite of the snake that kills you, it’s the poison left behind.” ~Tom Callos

Have you ever taken it to heart when someone said or did something mean to you? The likely answer is yes; most people have experienced negativity from another person—and it hurts.

But why did you take it personally? Because, like all of us, you want love. And we often assume when someone is mean to us that it means that we are unlovable.

Now, when a person is mean to me, I choose not to accept what they are offering. Also, I recognize …

Why We Put Ourselves Last and Why Self-Care Should Be a Priority

By in Blog, healthy habits

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” ~Dodinsky

Sometimes, when we’re feeling stressed and running around taking care of everybody else, the healthiest thing we can do is to stop and consider how we can take care of ourselves.

While this seems obvious to some people, many of us struggle with the idea of putting ourselves first. We were raised to think we should always put others before ourselves and ignore our own needs—that it is somehow arrogant or self-centered, and not a nice thing to do.

So why is self-care not held in high regard as the …

Why We Should Stop Trying to “Fix” Other People’s Pain

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“There is such a deeply rooted belief that we must do something with intense surges of feeling and emotion as they wash through: understand them, determine their cause, link them to some life circumstance or person, transform them, transmute them, or even ‘heal’ them.” ~Matt Licata

A few years ago, when I first started working for my current organization, one of my colleagues asked me what role I would most enjoy on the team.

I quickly said, “I like making things happen.”

That was so clear to me—I’m a natural do-er, organizer, and planner. It’s easy for me …

The Art of Conversation: Stop Zoning Out and Waiting to Talk

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.” ~Mark Twain

Some of the most memorable experiences in our lives revolve around the conversations we have with others.

Talking to your grandparents about what life was like for them when they were young.

Kind words of encouragement from a teacher or mentor.

A romantic conversation in front of a fireplace with your soul mate.

Listening to the last words of someone on their deathbed.

However, sometimes we can become so pressured to talk, to sell ourselves, or can become so …

Dealing with Emotional Triggers: What to Do When You’re Stuck on a Feeling

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“As you grow more practiced in noticing your triggers, offering yourself kindness and remembering that the power to heal your life is always available in the present moment, the situations that once set you off lose their explosive potential.” ~Martha Beck

Recently, I stayed with a friend I don’t see very often so I could attend a mindfulness event near her home. I took the train to her apartment about an hour before the event. We embraced and spent the first few moments together catching up on things.

And then my cellphone dinged.

Which, of course, it does every five …

Why We Don’t Need to Worry About What’s Missing in Our Lives

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“Don’t compare your struggles to anyone else’s. Don’t get discouraged by the success of others. Make your own path and never give up.” ~Unknown

My recent breakup was the most painful experience of my life. More painful maybe than it should have been, as it came at a time when a lot of things weren’t going as I hoped they would.

The road to healing seemed so much steeper and longer when all of these things also needed to be ‘fixed.’

As I approached my thirtieth birthday, I found myself back living at home with my parents and at a …

Why It Takes Strength to Be Vulnerable, and Why It’s Worth It

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” ~Brené Brown

When we’re younger, we’re fearless. We don’t mind climbing trees, making friends with strangers, or telling our secrets to people we’ve just met. We open our eyes and hearts to new experiences and people, and we trust that everything is going to be okay.

Somewhere along the way, we learn that being vulnerable can hurt.

We get teased or laughed at, and we learn that not everyone can be trusted with our secrets. Our knees get bruised and our hearts get broken.

I don’t fall in love easily. So, when …

Our Lives Are Measured in Love, Not Numbers

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“In the end, these are the things that matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?” ~Buddha

Last year my yoga teacher told a story in class about Hanuman, an ancient Hindu god depicted as a monkey. When asked what he was devoted to, Hanuman opened his chest and there were Sita and Ram, sitting on his heart, always with him. He was their greatest devotee.

The story stuck with me.

“What do I hold closest to my heart?” I asked myself quite often, and I was not getting the …

4 Ways We Resist Life and Cause Ourselves Pain (And How to Stop)

By in Blog, change & challenges

“When fear wakes up inside, and there is no place to run away or hide from it, consider it a gift. In all the glory of that discomfort, know there is refuge in surrender.” ~Erin Lanahan

When I was a freshman in college, I had a wise English teacher. Through everything he taught, he would always circle back to the theme that “life is a constant cycle of tension and release.”

I heard him say these words over and over, but I didn’t really listen. I wasn’t ready to yet. Still, this simple message always stuck in my memory.

I …