Comments on: 5 Steps to Be Selfless When It’s Hard http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/ simple wisdom for complex lives Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:27:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Lori Deschene http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-28350 Lori Deschene Tue, 13 Dec 2011 23:51:00 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-28350 Sounds like you made two people really happy, and how wonderful that it worked out for you in the end! =) Sounds like you made two people really happy, and how wonderful that it worked out for you in the end! =)

]]> By: Kulla http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-28342 Kulla Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:00:00 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-28342 i have twice been asked to change the seat:) first time i was next to a girl, had nice window seat and her boyfriend was far away in middle seat. i agreed.. then when i sat down on my new bad seat another couple wanted to sit together so i agreed to change again, smiling by myself (we had language barrier, we were basically communicating by hands) and then i got nice window seat again. i was happy with that.. so i was ready to be selfless but got as good seat as i was supposed to.. and another time i was even luckier.. there was a young family who wanted to sit together, so i agreed to give my seat but suddenly after that i discovered that there werre no other seats at all!!! in economy class.. so the air hostess took me to business class:))) so i suggest everybody to be helpful when someone asks.. i had my instant karma, but im sure little favours come back to us all:)) i have twice been asked to change the seat:) first time i was next to a girl, had nice window seat and her boyfriend was far away in middle seat. i agreed.. then when i sat down on my new bad seat another couple wanted to sit together so i agreed to change again, smiling by myself (we had language barrier, we were basically communicating by hands) and then i got nice window seat again. i was happy with that.. so i was ready to be selfless but got as good seat as i was supposed to.. and another time i was even luckier.. there was a young family who wanted to sit together, so i agreed to give my seat but suddenly after that i discovered that there werre no other seats at all!!! in economy class.. so the air hostess took me to business class:)))
so i suggest everybody to be helpful when someone asks.. i had my instant karma, but im sure little favours come back to us all:))

]]> By: Kate http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-6012 Kate Wed, 17 Nov 2010 01:23:00 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-6012 I think that your practice is very good for somebody who tends to be selfish. In my case, I tend to be an enabler and it's too easy to give it up. I think for me it would work to look for a seat some place else (like they did eventually). I think that your practice is very good for somebody who tends to be selfish. In my case, I tend to be an enabler and it’s too easy to give it up. I think for me it would work to look for a seat some place else (like they did eventually).

]]> By: Balancing Self Interest & Self Sacrifice for a Wonderful Life | tinybuddha.com http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-915 Balancing Self Interest & Self Sacrifice for a Wonderful Life | tinybuddha.com Thu, 24 Dec 2009 05:43:45 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-915 [...] for one, would find this information invaluable, as I’m somewhat of a George Bailey–ever willing to consider someone else’s feelings and interests before my own. On some [...] [...] for one, would find this information invaluable, as I’m somewhat of a George Bailey–ever willing to consider someone else’s feelings and interests before my own. On some [...]

]]> By: Lori Deschene http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-1672 Lori Deschene Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:31:46 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-1672 Thank you Shay. I agree =) Thank you Shay. I agree =)

]]> By: Lori Deschene http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-1674 Lori Deschene Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:31:02 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-1674 Hi Scott! My feeling in retrospect is that I did not choose the best story as a jumping off point for the ideas I wanted to express. I can see it's overshadowed my main point about selfishness/rudeness vs. selfishness and consideration toward strangers.<br><br>I don't really feel I would have been taken advantage of by them if I didn't fight for my seat, since they actually bought the same seat I did. I don't know why they chose not to sit together, but obviously no one involved wanted to spend 7 hours sitting between two other people.<br><br>Regardless, I can understand the consensus that speaking up is taking care of your own needs. Something I DO consider very important. Hi Scott! My feeling in retrospect is that I did not choose the best story as a jumping off point for the ideas I wanted to express. I can see it's overshadowed my main point about selfishness/rudeness vs. selfishness and consideration toward strangers.

I don't really feel I would have been taken advantage of by them if I didn't fight for my seat, since they actually bought the same seat I did. I don't know why they chose not to sit together, but obviously no one involved wanted to spend 7 hours sitting between two other people.

Regardless, I can understand the consensus that speaking up is taking care of your own needs. Something I DO consider very important.

]]> By: Scott http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-1673 Scott Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:25:53 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-1673 I don't think it's feelings so much as logic... if they're together and they want to toss aside the seat assignments, and if we can assume that you'd be fine with that also, wouldn't they sit together in the window/middle or in the aisle/middle seats? The fact that they each chose their dislike of the middle over their desire to sit together says something about their individual selfishness, I think, and the fact that they left the dredges of seating possibilities to you, the stranger, says something further about their consideration of others.<br><br>Could you have just taken the empty seat? sure... but there can be a slight difference between selfless and stepped-on. If you'd had the window seat and there was an issue and the woman had never flown before or gets ill in the middle or some such thing and you offered her your seat, that would be selfless... but getting stuck with the worst seat when you bought the best seat and taking it just because you don't want to speak up is being taken advantage of. I don't think it's feelings so much as logic… if they're together and they want to toss aside the seat assignments, and if we can assume that you'd be fine with that also, wouldn't they sit together in the window/middle or in the aisle/middle seats? The fact that they each chose their dislike of the middle over their desire to sit together says something about their individual selfishness, I think, and the fact that they left the dredges of seating possibilities to you, the stranger, says something further about their consideration of others.

Could you have just taken the empty seat? sure… but there can be a slight difference between selfless and stepped-on. If you'd had the window seat and there was an issue and the woman had never flown before or gets ill in the middle or some such thing and you offered her your seat, that would be selfless… but getting stuck with the worst seat when you bought the best seat and taking it just because you don't want to speak up is being taken advantage of.

]]> By: Scott http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-1675 Scott Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:20:32 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-1675 I don't think it's feelings so much as logic... if they're together and they want to toss aside the seat assignments, and if we can assume that you'd be fine with that also, wouldn't they sit together in the window/middle or in the aisle/middle seats? The fact that they each chose their dislike of the middle over their desire to sit together says something about their individual selfishness, I think, and the fact that they left the dredges of seating possibilities to you, the stranger, says something further about their consideration of others.<br><br>Could you have just taken the empty seat? sure... but there can be a slight difference between selfless and stepped-on. If you'd had the window seat and there was an issue and the woman had never flown before or gets ill in the middle or some such thing and you offered her your seat, that would be selfless... but getting stuck with the worst seat when you bought the best seat and taking it just because you don't want to speak up is being taken advantage of. I don't think it's feelings so much as logic… if they're together and they want to toss aside the seat assignments, and if we can assume that you'd be fine with that also, wouldn't they sit together in the window/middle or in the aisle/middle seats? The fact that they each chose their dislike of the middle over their desire to sit together says something about their individual selfishness, I think, and the fact that they left the dredges of seating possibilities to you, the stranger, says something further about their consideration of others.

Could you have just taken the empty seat? sure… but there can be a slight difference between selfless and stepped-on. If you'd had the window seat and there was an issue and the woman had never flown before or gets ill in the middle or some such thing and you offered her your seat, that would be selfless… but getting stuck with the worst seat when you bought the best seat and taking it just because you don't want to speak up is being taken advantage of.

]]> By: Lori Deschene http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-443 Lori Deschene Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:31:46 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-443 Thank you Shay. I agree =) Thank you Shay. I agree =)

]]> By: Lori Deschene http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-be-selfless-when-it%e2%80%99s-hard/comment-page-1/#comment-442 Lori Deschene Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:31:02 +0000 http://tinybuddha.com/?p=1399#comment-442 Hi Scott! My feeling in retrospect is that I did not choose the best story as a jumping off point for the ideas I wanted to express. I can see it's overshadowed my main point about selfishness/rudeness vs. selfishness and consideration toward strangers.<br><br>I don't really feel I would have been taken advantage of by them if I didn't fight for my seat, since they actually bought the same seat I did. I don't know why they chose not to sit together, but obviously no one involved wanted to spend 7 hours sitting between two other people.<br><br>Regardless, I can understand the consensus that speaking up is taking care of your own needs. Something I DO consider very important. Hi Scott! My feeling in retrospect is that I did not choose the best story as a jumping off point for the ideas I wanted to express. I can see it's overshadowed my main point about selfishness/rudeness vs. selfishness and consideration toward strangers.

I don't really feel I would have been taken advantage of by them if I didn't fight for my seat, since they actually bought the same seat I did. I don't know why they chose not to sit together, but obviously no one involved wanted to spend 7 hours sitting between two other people.

Regardless, I can understand the consensus that speaking up is taking care of your own needs. Something I DO consider very important.

]]>