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Train Yourself to Be More Positive in 5 Steps

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“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ~Winston Churchill

I am constantly striving to see the positive in every aspect of my life. But it’s not always easy.

My dog is currently suffering from a disease from which she will never recover. My mind is still trying to adjust to my relatively new schedule of running Positively Present full time. My wallet is thinning out as I march forward on my entrepreneurial ventures. And, as I get older, I find myself moving in different directions from some of the people I’ve spent a great deal of time with.

My life—and all of our lives—is filled with challenges that make it very difficult to be positive sometimes.

However, I know that choosing to be positive has helped me the most in terms of becoming the person I want to be. Even when things are difficult, I know that being positive—and striving to make the best of whatever situation I’m in—really does make even the most challenging situations easier to bear.

More often than not, I find myself veering toward a positive attitude. (It’s something I never would have done years ago!) I firmly believe that this is because I’ve trained myself to be positive.

It doesn’t always come naturally for me—sometimes it’s a lot of work—but I’ve taken five steps that make it so much easier for me to see the good in life.

Step One: Believe a Positive Attitude is a Choice

This step was hard to take at first. I thought that people were either positive or negative (and I was in the latter category). I used to blame my negativity on all kinds of outside forces—fate, experiences, parents, relationships—but never really stopped to think that I could choose to be positive.

Teaching myself that positivity is a choice has been one of the greatest things I’ve ever done for myself.

Now when I find myself in a bad situation, I know that it’s up to me to find the good, to be positive regardless of what’s happening around me. I no longer point fingers and place blame. I realize that everything happens how it happens, and it’s up to me to choose how I want to feel about it. I am in control of my attitude, and no one can take that away from me.

Step Two: Rid Your Life of Negativity

If you want to live a positive, joyful life, you cannot be surrounded by negative people who don’t encourage your happiness.

As a negative person, I attracted negative people. When I decided to make the change to live a more positive life, I had to rid my life of the most negative influences in it. No one is perfect—and perfection isn’t the goal when it comes to positivity—but there were people in my life who were consistently negative, who constantly brought me down, and I had to stop spending so much time with them.

This, as you can imagine, wasn’t easy. It can hurt to distance yourself from people—even when you know they aren’t good for you or your current lifestyle.

In addition to removing negative influences from my, I also had to get rid of some of my own negative behaviors, such as drug and alcohol abuse. I had to take a step back and examine which behaviors were good for me and which were not.

I learned to focus on the positive things I was doing—such as working on my blog and cultivating new, positive relationships—and let go of the negative ones. This process was not easy and, to be honest, is still ongoing, but I know this: It’s hard to live a positive life when negative people and behaviors continually pull you down.

Step Three: Look For the Positive in Life

In every person, in every situation, there is something good. Most of the time it’s not obvious. We have to look. And sometimes we have to look hard.

The old me was content to sit back and just glance around. If I saw negative, I went with that feeling. I didn’t want to look harder or think too much about the good. I found it much, much easier to sit back and just accept what I saw (which was usually the bad).

Now, when I’m faced with a difficult or challenging situation, I think to myself, “What is good about this?” No matter how terrible the situation might seem, I always can find something good if I take the time to think about it.

Everything—good and bad—is a learning experience so, at the very least, you can learn from bad experiences. However, there’s usually even more to it than that. If you really take the time to look, you will usually find something good, something genuinely positive, about every person or situation.

Step Four: Reinforce Positivity in Yourself

Once I started thinking more positively, I realized I had to reinforce these thoughts and behaviors in myself so they would stick. As with any sort of training, the more you practice, the better you get—and, yes, you can practice being positive.

The best and easiest way to do this is to be positive when it comes to who you are. Tell yourself you’re awesome. Tell yourself you look good. Tell yourself you did a great job at work or raising your kids or whatever it is you do.

Be honest with yourself, but do your best to look for the good. And, whatever you do, don’t focus on the negative. It’s okay to not like everything about yourself, but don’t focus on what you don’t like. We all have positive attributes, and it’s up to you to remind yourself of them every day.

Step Five: Share Positivity with Others

Not only do you need to be positive with yourself for this training to really take effect, but you need to be positive with others. You have to share your wealth of positivity with the world.

The best way I’ve found to do this is quite simple and basic: Be nice to other people, no matter what. Tell someone s/he looks nice today. Tell someone s/he did a great job on that presentation.

Tell your parents or children (or both!) how much you love them and how great they are. When someone is feeling down, do what you can to cheer him or her up. Send flowers. Write notes. Don’t gossip. Be kind to all living things.

All of these things sound basic enough, but for someone like me, they didn’t come easily.

I never wanted to see the good in myself and, therefore, didn’t want to see it in others either. I used to be critical and condescending. Now I strive to be encouraging and supportive.

I try not only to treat others as I would like to be treated, but I also try to consider how they would like to be treated. People appreciate positivity, and the more you share it with others, the more you are practicing it your own life.

When you start feeling like the idea of being a positive person is daunting, remind yourself that all it takes is one small step in the right direction to move yourself toward a more positive attitude.

Believe in yourself and remember the most important lesson of all: A positive outlook is a choice that you can always make.

Photo by wjklos


Lori’s Note: Dani just launched her first book, Stay Positive: Daily Reminders from Positively Present. She’s generously offered to give away three free copies—one hard cover, and two eBooks. Leave a comment on the post for a chance to win! You can enter until midnight PST on Friday, October 27th.  UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

Avatar of Dani

About Dani

Dani launched PositivelyPresent.com in 2009 when she decided to turn her life around by focusing on the positive & living in the present. Her personal development site touches lives around the world. Dani recently launched her first book, Stay Positive: Daily Reminders from Positively Present : StayPositive365.com.

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  • Thatmellongirl

    Dani, this is absolutely amazing. Your words are my exact thoughts. Thank you for sharing. I can’t wait to read more.

  • Dani

    Thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed this article!

  • http://www.facebook.com/kyle.rothfork.3 Kyle Rothfork

    Dani, great words and great attitude! Your words will echo with me all day! Positive thinking is a choice! Thank you!

  • Jlyne Hanback

    Amazing advice that all people should take the time to read and implement. I will be sharing your post with others and can’t wait to see your book! Thank you for the dose of positive inspiration – it is exactly what I needed. :)

  • Cathy G

    Great reminder to try to find the positive in every situation. Just trying to find the positive is uplifting.

  • Dani

    You’re welcome! So glad this advice hit home for you. Thanks for sharing the post!

  • Dani

    You’re welcome!!

  • Dani

    Grate point, Cathy! Just the act of trying to stay positive really makes you more positive.

  • Andrea

    good points!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=194400226 Kelsi Kubo

    I needed to hear this today. Struggling with staying positive on a daily basis. Thank you for sharing

  • Carrie Hammer

    Loved this piece! It takes so much more energy to be negative than to be positive! + > -

    I would love to win the book!!

  • Dani

    So true, Carrie! Being positive (hard as it might seem sometimes) is much easier than being negative.

  • Dani

    Glad this is what you needed to hear! Being positive on a daily basis can be difficult, but don’t ever feel like you have to be positive all the time. The important thing is to do the best you can!

  • Dani

    Thanks!

  • http://www.facebook.com/susan.m.shannon.9 Susan McCafferty Shannon

    What great steps/tips to follow. Reframing from a positiive outlook opens pathways we might not have considered when focusing from a negative point of view. Thanks Dani!

  • Cathe

    I really like this message. I have always tred to be an optimist regardless of the situation.
    It makes life so much more pleasant. I agree it is hard to let go of old friends who keep you down but it is worth it to help yourself stay positive.
    Cathe

  • Shawna

    I must say,from someone who is so used to feeling negative at the first rise of the sun, its great to hear someone its possible to be positive but not everything is always easier said than done.I really needed this, thank you.

  • KK

    Great Post! 5 simple tips. I think the hardest part for me is staying positive even when you live with negative people, or circumstances that aren’t in your control. I can get really bogged down being frustrated feeling stuck.

  • Mrs Kumar

    I really very much needed to read these points today. I always try to be positive but sometimes the enviornment, people around you retreat you back. It’s hard to be positive at first. Self-realization and positivity will go hand in hand to stay positive. Good article

  • Connie

    Wow, I need to read this every single day. My life has taken a turn down a path I would rather not go on, so looking at it as a positive thing is something I know I need to do. Thank you so much for this blog!

  • Chavela

    Good message.

  • Dani

    Thanks!

  • Dani

    Yes, seeing the positive even in the tough times is so important. For daily inspiration, check out StayPositive365.com!

  • Dani

    Thanks, Mrs. Kumar! You’re so right about self-realization and positivity going hand in hand. Being aware of your own state, beliefs, and mindset can really help when you’re faced with negative people or situations.

  • Dani

    I know just what you mean. When something is out of your control, it can be really hard to put a positive spin on it. If I find myself in a situation like that, I try to focus on what IS in my control (which is usually a lot more than I originally thought!).

  • Dani

    Being positive can be very difficult, but the more I’ve worked at it, the better I’ve become at doing it. For me, it’s been all about practice. The more I do, the better I get.

  • Dani

    Letting go of negative people is one of the best ways I’ve found to live a more positive life. It’s not always possible, but in many cases we hold on to people for the wrong reasons. I’m glad you like this message!

  • Dani

    You’re welcome! Choosing a positive outlook isn’t always easy and, even after all these years of writing Positively Present, I still struggle with it, but it really is eye-opening when I choose to look at things with an optimistic outlook

  • Jawread

    Thank you for these 5 simple steps. I collect quotes and paste them to index cards. Each morning I select a quote to set the tone for the remainder of the day. Your Winston Churchill quote will be part of my collection and a reminder for me to choose positivity.

  • Ree

    When I was younger I shut down my heart in many ways to keep it from hurting. I finally realized that I am sensitive and caring and that is a good thing! My heart needed and wanted to be opened. Now I am on my path to a more positive existence. You are right, it takes practice and some days I might not rise to the challenge, but that is okay; I gently correct myself and try better the next day.

  • Tom

    thanks,

  • http://twitter.com/asenseoftumour A Sense Of Tumour

    Sounds great. You’re doing amazing work well done. Hopefully I’ll win a copy of the book.

    Regards
    Paudy byrne
    http://www.asenseoftumour.com

  • ntrong

    It isn’t easy to be positive but your suggestions are taken to heart. I have been trying for years to be positive and slip quite often. I agree, thinking positive about yourself is probably the hardest and where you need to start to think positive about other people and situations. Thank you for the great post

  • http://dailyjenn.tumblr.com Daily Jenn

    Great post!! I love the breakdown into five steps. I’m a pretty positive person in general, but I’m working harder and focusing more at the moment on thinking positively more often and on looking for the best in other people. It’s easy to be critical of others and make assumptions, I’m trying to cut people more slack and be more understanding – this will make me happier and spread more positivity since I won’t be focusing on negative thoughts and emotions.

  • SMReidy

    Thank you – I firmly believe that being positive is a choice. There are times when I’m scared or sad but if I meditate on what is positive, I am better prepared to deal with those times.

  • Dani

    What a great idea! I love that you’ll be using that quote for one of your start-the-day quotes. It’s a great one.

  • ugh

    Ever notice that once you find the positive’s in things and share it with the world, people still try to rip happiness down?

  • Dani

    I know what you mean about closing yourself off. It took me a while to learn to be more open to people, but the more I do it, the more positive my life is. Every day is a chance to start being positive!

  • Dani

    You’re welcome!

  • ugh

    great post btw! I really needed reassertion

  • Dani

    Thank you! I hope you win as well!

  • Dani

    It’s okay to slip up on being positive. It doesn’t come naturally for everyone (including me), but the important thing is not to give up!

  • Dani

    Refraining from judging others (and ourselves!) is one of the best ways to stay positive. It’s great that you’re working on being more understanding of others. That’s an excellent way to stay positive!

  • Dani

    Yes, unfortunately, negative people often try to bring down positive people. It’s for that reason that it’s important to distance yourself from people you bring you down. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of your happiness!

  • blue fairy

    Thanks for spreading positivity!!! Great post and reminder!!

  • parfae

    This can be an ongoing struggle for me – it’s always good to have a simple reminder!

  • Comet

    I work with young children and their parents – it is so easy to judge both, and even though I believe I appear to be a loving and kind teacher, I can often be throwing daggers with my thoughts. I find that “walking a mile in the other person’s shoes” really helps me keep me positive. My job is very stressful and thankless in many ways, but there are also gems of wisdom spoken and miracles witnessed every day that can still thrill me after 25 years in my job. Thank you for the great practical steps to stay positive; by taking your advice to heart, I hope to help free myself from fear, worry, stress, and sleeplessness!

  • Jillian

    Great post! Excited to read the book…

  • http://twitter.com/psykochatter psykochatter

    I worked hard to become a positive person! My husband is currently fighting with his own negativity. I try to help, but it can be hard. I’ll be sharing this with him. Thank you so much!

  • http://www.facebook.com/paul.sainsbury.77 Paul Sainsbury

    I can really relate to this , gives me hope and encouragement

  • Katie McG

    Have recently reframed my life into one of vigilant positivity! Would love a copy of hte book.

  • Jessica

    I’m wondering what your take on looking at the positive vs. ignoring negative might be? I think sometimes people think that in order to be positive everything negative needs to go. I don’t think that’s possible or a healthy mindset either. I’ve been working on being positive and finding silver lining, but I will admit it’s been hard because when I was more negative, people removed me from their lives and distanced themselves… because that’s what they needed to do. What it did to me was cultivate more negativity. I felt kicked out with the trash. Now, I don’t hold grudges and work hard on retraining my mindset, but I have SUCH a hard time distancing myself from others who aren’t doing as well. I know I personally can’t change them, their attitudes, or outlook, but I hope that I can at least share a little, very subtly if needed. When people talk about letting go of negative relationships, i suppose it is all relative to the situation, but unless I know someone who is lying to me, robbing me, hurting me, cheating me… I can’t find a good reason to turn anyone away. Distance, sure, but I think I’m always going to be there. Any thoughts?

  • Johnny

    During my college years I found it very easy to be positive and live a stress-free lifestyle…I also smoked copious amounts of marijuana. I got married shortly out of school and over a decade put my drug use to rest, but along the way I came to realize that my addiction served to mask a deep anger that came to the surface once the weight of the smoke had cleared. I transitioned from a seemingly carefree and positive person into a negative, condescending, judgmental person that I grew to loathe. By this time I had kids that were learning from my behavior and I knew I had to change myself if I wanted to provide a better example for them. It feels damn good to be back on the path I had found in college, and even better to have found it without mind-numbing substances. It has been a difficult path to find again, but an easier path to forge each day I choose to stay on it. At the end of the day I know I have my way back and I feel happy that I can provide a template for my kids to follow.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jenhn Jen Nguyen

    Fantastic advice; thank you, Dani! I shared it on Facebook :)

  • MLY

    I’m currently working on becoming more positive about myself and to have a better outlook at life. It’s not easy at all. You see, I have been very negative most of my life. I always loved to dress up but I could never do that to work because I was afraid of being judged–of being too dressy. I would wear dull and boring sweaters and cardigans to work. Two weeks ago, I started a new job and decided that I had to change. I wanted to be myself and that I wasn’t going to care about what people thought of me. For the first time in 10 years, I finally wore a dress with boots to work and I felt great that day! I can’t say that I am all comfortable and confident now because I am not but I am learning to take it slowly and one day at a time. I also notice that it really helps with boosting my self-confidence which helps me to stay and be more positive. I also put the quote, “What you do have control over is how you react to what happens in your life,” from Oprah as a reminder every morning when I get ready to go to work. It helps a lot to remind myself that I could have a great day by staying positive and don’t let others get to me. : D

  • Faith Harper

    Very cool, sharing this with my clients!

  • Natalie

    Great Article!! Very introspective and made me think about my reactions to similar situations. Keep it up! I hope to read Dani’s book in the near future :)

  • Jessiebee

    I really needed this message today. I hit a wall as I prepare myself to enter a training course to open my own business and I lost faith in myself. I forgot to look for the positives in being my own boss! I would love to receive one of Dani’s books to use as a reminder of what I can achieve when I remember to be happy, be disciplined, be positive and be focused!!!

  • Hope

    Dear Dani,
    When I read your article, I relate to it as I was surrounded by negative people everyday and always being judged at. I feel really sad that I can’t make my partner see that he judge me and throwing negative words at me everytime if I try to say something or giving my opinion, ended up I keep quite most time. It is hard for me to leave the negative environment as I love my partner very much. I tried everyday to stay positive everyday moment but deep inside I am very hurt and a damaged person. I know there is a saying, you can’t change a person but to change yourself, so much so that I now very afraid of even talking therefore there is hardly conversation between us, because everytime I say someting, it’s wrong and being judge at, even misunderstood my goodwill. It is very sad. Things that I say, is always misinterpreted to Negative view ( being judged) and in real fact I really genuinely trying to give a hand or give support!!! I know he came from a very abusive and hard childhood and are still a victim to his dad. It is very sad that he doesn’t see that he is a Big Negative energy, he explode on every little things. I tried very much to stay positive every moment,everyday. Till now I leave it to God. Have faith.
    Thank You for sharing your articles with us and all the best to you Dani.

  • Stella*

    Since I turned 25 I went through my quarter life crisis. Up until that point I was always negative, egocentric about everything. I had to be perfect, have the best of every new technology, product, whatever to always outdo friends, rivals whoever. I’d buy my boyfriend at the time the best of the best and he never appreciated it. The difference was he was content with himself, and us (when I wasn’t acting crazy trying to be some perfectionist about Us). Then we broke up, my parents got divorced, and my perfect lifestyle and world came to a halt. I went through a HUGE transformation. Then I got to a really good place, I was content – for awhile – then the ego slipped back in, the negative forces of family drama surrounded me and my life dipped back into another low. I am now again at a time of great transformation. You always know because everyday you get worn out by life yet somehow at the end of each day or the next morning when I wake up and I’m sitting in bed gathering myself to take on the day, I realize what I learned, what I accomplished yesterday, and remind myself that today is a new day. A fresh start. A new beginning. And life is a constant cycle, as are the seasons. Every spring plants and animals have to go through the challenges of g-r-o-w-i-n-g again, and this is a great reminder that so do we. Winter can come, and we can get a little stagnate but the changing of each season (if you happen to live in a 4 season location) is a constant reminder to keep going, keep growing, keep rejuvenating yourself. And those dead ends… you let them break off and keep going. I am definitely NOT in the same state of mind I was in prior to turning 25, but at 27 I am happy to say that I learned more about myself the last 2 years than I ever did prior to that.

    A separate thought: I feel I have found my fountain to happiness… Think back to your true childhood ages 2 – 12. The world to a child is nothing but a passion of discovery. Everything is new, and you have no l-e-a-r-n-e-d bias. You ask a million questions and want the answer to every single one. Including where does Santa come from?!
    When I finally hit rock bottom, this was my first step to re-finding myself. Eliminate everything I’ve learned or think I know and start from scratch. And really tell yourself “I have to try this again – even if you had before – because the result just MIGHT be different this time.”

  • http://twitter.com/cinghialetta Stephanie Unson

    I couldn’t agree more with this article. You have to be vigilant when it comes to being positive. Well-meaning people, often your family and friends, will try to make you be realistic by pointing out all of the negatives and telling you not to set yourself up for failure. You have to focus on every step you take, and to appreciate every little thing around you. I think that helps a lot with staying positive. And definitely surround yourself with positive people who want the best for you, without dragging you down.

  • Kelly

    You have no idea how much I needed this today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

  • Cecilia

    I can relate to you being sorrounded by negative people. People in my office, in my department in particular, it’s so hard to be positive when you are sorrounded with people who’s ego are bigger than their head, literally. For a year I’ve been on my journey to enlightenment and I love who I become.

  • kelly

    I really, really needed this today. Thank you so much!

  • Jayne

    At this very moment, I am grateful to have seek positivity and to have landed on your blog. Thank you for the simple yet so profound explanation on how to incorporate a way of life that is beneficial for the human race. I do my best to practice your advice daily (prior to reading your blog) and you are absolutely right about the challenge on a day-to-day. I just gave my parents who have been married for 30 years and still argue and nag advice about focusing on the positives with one another even when the situation makes it difficult to see it. Thank you dani for your post! Much love!

  • Olive

    this stuff really works!

  • Marcin

    As usual a great post. It really makes a difference to shift one’s perspective on life.

  • Vladica

    I love your article and you pretty much described everything I try to set my mind to!Being positive is a way of life,longterm thinking.If you stay focused on being positive and having positive thoughts about things,soon it will go your way and the best part is that it links to other things!My experience was that when I started thinking that way,everything kind of fell in its place.It was like a POSITIVE CYCLE!Of course,there were and are things that won’t turn out they way you were hoping for them to turn out,but it’s important to remember that we did the best we can and that the next time it will be better.
    That is my experience with being positive,but I would be more than curious to read your book!Im sure I’d find out new and great things that I didnt know before and I include them in my life and way of thinking.I hope there is a chance you pick me for the eBook copy,because Im from Europe,Serbia,to be specific,so even if I wanted to,I could not buy your book from here.Paypal is still trying to come through here,so you get the picture,lol.
    I’d really appreciate it and feel thrilled if you would meet me half way,but if not,Im gonna stick with your blog :)

  • Tazchick

    I used to be a very negative person and had a lot of self-hatred for myself.

    Recently, my ex-boyfriend told me he thinks I should move on. This is not easy. Even though we broke up over a year ago, we maintained contact and it seemed that there may have been a chance to get back together. But now, I think he has said his final goodbyes and so have I.

    It hurts. He was such a great guy and I took him for granted. I would want nothing more than to go back in time and be a positive person.

    But I understand– even though I feel I’ve changed– why he’s not willing to find out. I was so negative to him for so long. I just dragged him down.

    Now, I must learn to move on. It’s hard, but I just tell myself that he is happier without me being in his life. And though the outcome is not what I wanted– I have become a more positive person because of our relationship.

    Thank you. This is a very nice article, reminding me to be positive and that I can choose to see the good that this relationship/break-up has brought to my life.

  • Jackie Strawder

    I was married to the most negative man in the world it took 32 yrs to learn that I could never make him happy and that I needed to get away so I could find my own happiness. I couldn’t be happier now…thanks for sharing.

  • preeti

    There could not have been a better time to read this tiny yet wonderful piece of positivity..Today at the age of 45,i was ,i am desparetly trying to come up and like myself for what i am.i have wonderful kids,who are my support system,but deep down i realise they don’t respect me ,my family takes me for granted,i used to blame everything around me,my husband,our failed marriage,myself being always ill,so many negative things,i hated myself.today morning i prayed to God,either change me or my perspective or stop this failed marriage and its ongoings.i got up opened my inbox,and read this article,i will not say it changed me,but it opened my eyes.that is important.i promise myself that from now on i will look for positive things in my life,and reinforce it to the best THANKS a lot.
    Can you please help me to deal with extra dominating husband?

  • Brittany Markaverich

    This is something I am working on for me. As a mother and Wife I have made my son and husband my top 2 priorities. This was at the expense of me and my happiness. I have recently started working on my happiness and being more positive. I enjoyed this thoroughly and would love to be able to read your book as well. Thank you for this post.

  • http://www.facebook.com/leeann.pennington Leeann Pennington

    Thank you for the encouragement to stay positive no matter what. Definitely needed it today!

  • Ana Pears

    Thank you for this post and shift in perspective.

  • Karen R.

    It has taken me many years to realize that being positive is not just smiling when you are down, but believing in yourself. Choosing to be positive regardless of how much others try to bring you down with them. It’s surrounding yourself with the right people who support, motivate and accept you. It’s looking for the lesson in every difficult situation and not dwelling on the negative. It’s not only praising yourself but being kind to others.
    It hasn’t been quick or easy but I can attest that you can “train” yourself to be positive. It makes for a much more fulfilling and satisfying life.

  • CA

    Dani , this is too similar to our situation . I use to be that guy. I was abused from my father both physically and mentally. My advice would be to write to him via email or text and express to him what you’ve been feeling but also assure that you are totally committed. My girlfriend did this to me and it changed our relationship. I honestly didn’t know that I was being so negative because living like this for 16 years as a kid made it seem normal to me. It will also help to get someone in his family or one of his friends on board so he knows its not just you ” being crazy ” . After that email I received from my girlfriend , I booked counseling and it changed my life. I am not perfect now but she knows that I have changed so much. Hope this helps.

  • Emily

    Great message. Thanks so much for sharing!

  • Karen

    As hard as I try to be positive, it is so easy to fall back into old negative habits. A delightful daily reminder can be a great way to help stay on track : )

  • Chucktuck

    Since I’m closing in on 50, I’m searching strenuously for some positivity!
    Seems I’m well practiced in accepting the negative. Looking forward to changing my style. I do believe it is possible… Cheers!

  • magladem96

    Thank you for the post! It’s just wanted I needed to hear this morning!

  • minhazzm

    Thank you for this post which offers practical ways to become and stay positive in life. Living in India and working with marginalised communities, trying to provide work and income to the poor often results in hearing and being witness to very difficult and tragic stories of deprivation, exploitation, loss and longing as well as some amazing stories about the strength and beauty of the human spirit. Usually, the mind-blowing humanity and grace shown by people who have so little in their lives materially but who are so rich in spirit is enough of an inspiration. But sometimes, the sad and difficult realities of life do bring me down and I need to find ways to stay positive, stay strong and not feel that whatever I do, it will never be enough. Your post highlighted that staying positive is always a choice ..one that I always have no matter how hard or bad things may seem to be

  • http://asmalladjustment.com/ Christopher Frawley

    Excellent. These are great. I think that once I started embracing #1 and then #3, the others felt like they came more naturally… Thanks for the message !

  • Adrienne

    I have become more and more tuned to the positive as I grow older. What is striking me, though, is the challenge of helping my son develop the ability (or courage) to understand that he can choose to see situation (the world) positively or negatively. He is only 10 years old but I so want him to learn and practice this skill now rather than so much later in his life, like I have done. How do I help him see and feel his own agency in choosing his outlook?

  • Amy53515

    Excellent post. Kudos for staying positive & sharing it with others like us who need the encouragement. Love your dog for as long as you can.

  • Leon

    Thanks for this comment.

  • Hiromi

    I am glad I found this article… I know it takes time, but still it is good to hear from somebody else.

  • Kt

    Wow! I came across this article at the perfect time. Funny how things work that way.

  • Jeanne Pace

    Thank you for writing this, I am 24 married with a son and I am soo negative and it’s hurting my family. I know I need to change and reading this and many more books/articles in the future is going to help me. I didn’t feel like I had any choice and I had nowhere to start but now I know it’s my choice and how to start changing.

  • JJ

    Great Post. I’m a great believer that people can train themselves to become more positive.

    I’ve just written an article on my blog on positivity if your interested http://justmememee.blogspot.com

  • All

    Stella, I am so glad that you decided to make this investment in yourself..
    I currently am in a huge transitional time.. A very close friend betrayed my trust, and cruely tore me down then declared that she ‘needs a break from our friendship’ after belittling me to her other friends and talking shit about me and my family behind my back..

    i have often said, and find it to be true once again is that when things like this happen it is necessary to remember all the things that made me happy before all the learned bias and cruel behaviors of other people..

    I wish you the best..

  • PB

    Thank you for these wise words. I’ve just come across this article as I’m struggling with negative/positive thoughts. I’ve moved on a lot in life and find it hard when I come across someone negative and feel sucked in and drained by it all. Despite trying to put a positive spin on things, sometimes people don’t want to know or they think you’re some kind of do-gooder. I don’t want to be judgemental, but I can find myself being negative about their negativity… if that makes any sense.

  • Roberta Metalious

    I decided to get rid of the negative people in my life…and now I have no friends that don’t live hundreds of miles away. I’m 61 years old…it’s time I start making very drastic changes in my life. Becoming positive will be my first step.

  • Mayas0609

    I see a lot of positives in my life. I have been happily married for almost 8 years, with 2 beautiful healthy kids. My husband is not just a good husband, but a life partner, a friend, family …just everything I could have ever wanted in a man. He loves me, and I feel it AND hear it from him every day not just in words, but also actions. He puts me first along with the kids, he works so hard for us, and wants me to have everything I want, he is generous and never says a word if I buy anything expensive for me…I admire his extremely gentle character! He is also an amazing dad, involved in everything related to the kids, and would spend every single second of his time after work with us even if I try to get to go have fun with his friends, he wouldn’t go. Now, because he provides so much happiness, security and love in my life, I do feel sometimes scared of the simple thought that I could loose him, to death, illness or whatever other reason…I feel my entire world is collapsing if he is not with me..I am scared…really scared…to loose my current situation.

  • David

    Good article, just what I was looking for, I hope you all have a wonderful sense of contentment for the rest of your lives :)

  • Tomoliver

    Great thoughts on positivity! Thanks for sharing. We need to start a movement of positivity! Join me in making 2014 the year of smiles. http://www.egovolution.org/2014/01/14/make-smiling-a-habit-and-fortune-will-smile-upon-you/

  • Angel

    One thought that always helps me when I start going down the road of negativity is that the idea of positive and negative generally only exist in the mind of (wo)man. They are molds that we have created for reality. Nothing is good, nothing is bad. Everything just is. Everything is just radiant love.

  • Joni

    This really brought me some light for todays sadness and negativity. Thank you so very much. Love and light <3

  • Sierra

    After marriage I have become so negative that i have started hurtng my husband because of negativity …. I have really lost all my self-confidence … I think people around me r knowledgable n i m dumm … I am really trying to come out of these n bring self confidence in me ..But its really hard to bring positive behaviour once u have become Negative

  • Brennan

    Thanks. I needed this tonight. Have been going through some things for a few years and recently decided that I need a pretty big change. As a whole, this website has been a pretty good guiding light as far as controlling my daily emotions. I reference it often.