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by Contributor Celestine Chua

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” ~Cynthia Ozick

How often do you pause to appreciate what you have in life?

When I was young, I sort of took things for granted. I believe many other kids did so, too. After all, we were young and we didn’t know what life could be like on the other side.

One thing we took for granted was education. In my country, it’s compulsory for all kids to go to school, so it was a given. We never thought about how lucky we were to be educated.

Another thing we took for granted was our teachers. We never thought about how lucky we were to have teachers who cared for our growth so much, and poured their heart and soul in their lessons.

Then slowly as I grew up, I began to appreciate things around me more. As I saw more and more of the world out there, I realized all the things I’d been given are not rights, but privileges.

I realized that being literate is a not a right, but a gift. I realized there is a lot of war and violence in the world, and I’m lucky to live in a country where it’s safe and peaceful. I realized there are people out there who don’t have their five senses, and to have mine is a gift.

I realized the world is so beautiful, and we’re lucky to live in such an amazing world.

Sometimes it’s easy to feel bad because you’re going through a tough time in life. However, remember no matter how bad your situation may seem, there are tens of thousands of things to be grateful for in life.

Below is a simple list of 60 things that I’m grateful for in my life. Most of the items, if not all, will apply to you too. I’m sure as you read this list, you’ll think of many more things to be grateful for. Feel free to add on in the comments box below. I would love to read them.

Here are 60 things to be grateful for in our lives:

1. Your parents - For giving birth to you. Because if there is no them, there will not be you.
2. Your family – For being your closest kin in the world
3. Your friends – For being your companions in life
4. Sense of sight – For letting you see the colors of life
5. Sense of hearing - For letting you hear trickle of rain, the voices of your loved ones, and the harmonious chords of music
6. Sense of touch - For letting you feel the texture of your clothes, the breeze of the wind, the hands of your loved ones
7. Sense of smell – For letting you smell scented candles, perfumes, and beautiful flowers in your garden
8. Sense of taste – For letting you savor the sweetness of fruits, the saltiness of seawater, the sourness of pickles, the bitterness of bitter gourd, and the spiciness of chilli
9. Your speech – For giving you the outlet to express yourself
10. Your heart – For pumping blood to all the parts of your body every second since you were born; for giving you the ability to feel
11. Your lungs – For letting you breathe so you can live
12. Your immune system – For fighting viruses that enter your body. For keeping you in the pink of your health so you can do the things you love.
13. Your hands – So you can type on your computer, flip the pages of books, and hold the hands of your loved ones
14. Your legs - For letting you walk, run, swim, play the sports you love, and curl up in the comfort of your seat
15. Your mind - For the ability to think, to store memories, and to create new solutions
16. Your good health – For enabling you to do what you want to do and for what you’re about to do in the future
17. Your school - For providing a environment conducive to learning and growing
18. Your teachers – For their dedication and for passing down knowledge to you
19. Tears – For helping you express your deepest emotions
20. Disappointment - So you know the things that matter to you most
21. Fears – So you know your opportunities for growth
22. Pain – For you to become a stronger person
23. Sadness – For you to appreciate the spectrum of human emotions
24. Happiness – For you to soak in the beauty of life
25. The Sun - For bringing in light and beauty to this world
26. Sunset – For a beautiful sight to end the day
27. Moon and Stars - For brightening up our night sky
28. Sunrise - For a beautiful sight to start the morning
29. Rain – For cooling you when it gets too warm and for making it comfy to sleep in on weekends
30. Snow – For making winter even more beautiful

31. Rainbows – For a beautiful sight to look forward to after rain
32. Oxygen - For making life possible
33. The earth – For creating the environment for life to begin
34. Mother nature - For covering our world in beauty
35. Animals – For adding to the diversity of life
36. Internet - For connecting you and me despite the physical space between us
37. Transport - For making it easier to commute from one place to another
38. Mobile phones – For making it easy to stay in touch with others
39. Computers – For making our lives more effective and efficient
40. Technology – For making impossible things possible
41. Movies – For providing a source of entertainment
42. Books – For adding wisdom into your life
43. Blogs – For connecting you with other like-minded people
44. Shoes – For protecting your feet when you are out
45. Time – For a system to organize yourself and keep track of activities
46. Your job – For giving you a source of living and for being a medium where you can add value to the world
47. Music - For lifting your spirits when you’re down and for filling your life with more love
48. Your bed - For you to sleep comfortably in every night
49. Your home - For a place you can call home
50. Your soul mate – For being the one who understands everything you’re going through
51. Your best friends – For being there for you whenever you need them
52. Your enemies – For helping you uncover your blind spots so you can become a better person
53. Kind strangers – For brightening up your days when you least expect it
54. Your mistakes - For helping you to improve and become better
55. Heartbreaks - For helping you mature and become a better person
56. Laughter - For serenading your life with joy
57. Love - For letting you feel what it means to truly be alive
58. Life’s challenges - For helping you grow and become who you are
59. Life - For giving you the chance to experience all that you’re experiencing, and will be experiencing in time to come

And last but not least… #60:

You.

For being who you are and touching the world with your presence. For being alive and reading this post. For giving me the chance to touch your life and fulfill my purpose to help others. You are the reason I live. Thank you.

by Srinivas Rao

“You get peace of mind not by thinking about it or imagining it, but by quietening and relaxing the restless mind.” -Remez Sasson

What’s the first thought that goes through your head when you wake up in the morning? Is it deliberate or is it the default “Oh shi#$, it’s 6am!”?

If that’s how you start your day, then it’s likely your day will be filled with anxiety and stress. It’s not exactly the most productive mechanism for getting things done.

In the last week or two, I’ve been experimenting with something that has really changed how I feel about everything. I’ve talked about morning power questions in the past and have suggested you should ask yourself before anything “What’s the best that Could Happen?”. Questions are quite powerful if used in the right way.

How to Use Morning Power Questions

When you wake up in the morning you are always asking yourself questions whether you realize it or not. As you brush your teeth, drink your coffee or eat your breakfast thoughts are running through your head. You might be thinking “why am I so I tired, why didn’t I sleep earlier, what am I going to eat, etc, etc.”

These things generally don’t serve any useful purpose and in some cases as you can see are even hurting you. The idea behind using questions is to take conscious control of the direction of your day. So, let me give you a few examples of things that you could ask yourself first thing in the morning:

• What do I have to look forward to today?
• What’s absolutely perfect about my life?
• How can I make today absolutely awesome?
• What’s the best thing that could happen today?

By asking yourself these kinds of questions you start to shift the focus of your mind towards all of the things you want to have happen. One interesting thing to note is that your questions don’t need to have any basis in reality because your brain will answer anything you ask it quite literally. So if you’re going to be delusional, you might as well make your delusions extremely empowering.

The key to using this effectively however is to do it for 30 days in a row. What happens when you do this is that your brain will create a link, known as a neuro-association, between the empowering states you create with your questions and being awake in the morning.

One Question to Ask Yourself Every Morning

For about two weeks now, I’ve been asking myself one question from the moment I wake up. “What am I grateful for?.” You’ve heard before that you should start every single day with an attitude of gratitude. This is probably the simplest way to actually do that.

If you ask yourself that question enough days in a row you will wake up feeling on top of the world every single day. As you start to view your life and the world around you as full of things to be grateful for, you’re going to bring more and more of that into your life.

We all have lots to be grateful for, but we often get caught up in all the things that are wrong with our lives. Hopefully this will enable you shift your focus.

Ways to Change Your Morning Routine

I want you to give some consideration to changing up how you start your day. In addition to power questions I encourage you to start your day in a more peaceful, quiet way then you have in the past. I think you’ll find that the impact this will have on you both physically and mentally will quite powerful.

1. Don’t Turn on the Computer or TV

As a blogger, for the last year or so the first thing I would do every single morning is turn on the computer. Even if you are not a blogger you may have a tendency to turn on the computer right when you wake up. Starting your brain off with so much information overload right when you wake up can’t possibly be healthy.

I encourage you to just enjoy your coffee or breakfast for about 20 minutes. Turning on the TV is one of the most insidious things you can do. The news can have such a negative impact on you that you might not even realize it. The news is generally about everything that’s wrong in the world and this is the first thing you become exposed to in the morning.

One thing that we know from years of self help is that our minds tend to be extremely receptive in the morning. That’s why I encourage you not to turn on the TV if you’ve been doing it.

2. Listen to Music/Something Uplifting

I love listening to music and when possible I even use an alarm that actually plays music. I try to find really uplifting songs or even songs that have really peaceful melodies. One of the best times to listen to a self-help tape or program is right when you wake up. Think about how the effect this will have on you if you do this for about 30 days.

If you listen to inspirational/uplifting material right when you wake up then you will eventually condition that message into your mind and connect it with waking up in the morning.

3. Meditate

I think one of the most challenging things about meditating is to free yourself from thought. As somebody with a mind that moves at what feels like a million miles a minute, this isn’t something I’m great at myself. Early in the morning your mind is in a fairly quiet state and even 5-10 minutes of deep centered relaxation/meditation can make a huge difference in your day.

How do you start your morning routine? Is there anything else you’d add to this list?

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by Harriet Cabelly

“Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown

My daughter Nava suffered a medical crisis and was hospitalized for one year.  She was in a drug-induced paralyzed coma on a ventilator for three months, teetering on the seesaw of life and death; however, much closer to the death side.

Miraculously surviving, she moved on to a rehab hospital for the next nine months where she had to relearn each and every body and motor function.  Two miracles occurred: one, she survived; and two, she had a complete recovery, with her life back as before.

Because I have my daughter back, whole and intact, I feel like I’ve been given a second lease on life.

I live my life with zest, fervor and a sense of urgency.  There’s nothing like bearing witness to the fragility of life to make one live better.

Despite the pain, hardship, adversity and challenges that life dishes out, we have to find and create the good.

1.  Find ways to do.

It’s always easier to come up with ways not to do.  They’re called excuses.  Create a to-do mind-set and the walls will start tumbling down.

We wanted to go see the Macy’s fireworks on July 4th.  It would’ve been so easy to say no and stay home and watch it on TV.  It required driving into the city, taking a train, walking a whole lot and then taking a train or ferry back at midnight  and driving back home from the city.

That’s a lot of traveling for a half hour of fireworks.  But we decided to make a night’s adventure out of it.  We had dinner in the city (after finding a great parking spot).  Then we took the Path train into New Jersey and felt like total tourists, as we had never taken it before.

We met up with a walking group and walked three miles along the Hudson till we got to our viewing spot.  We had a great view of the fireworks—right in front of one of the barges from which the fireworks were set off.  It was as if it was coming right at us.

We then made our way, along with the crowds, to a trolley type of train, at which point the train people said we can all get on for free so everyone can get home.  How often does that happen?

We decided to take the ferry back to NYC.  Why take the train when we could take a beautiful ferry ride late at night and see the city lit up while the water breeze cooled us off from the hot humid day?  Again, a first for us—we’ve never taken a ferry into the dark waters of the Hudson.

A brisk walk, along with hoards of people and cops, in the streets of Manhattan, brought us back to our car.  What a fabulous night out on the town!!  And much of it was in the journey.

2. Allow for fun and silliness.  It’s freeing.

My husband and I did a Patch Adams clowning trip to Italy.  The only requirement was to wear a costume and be silly.  This certainly challenged my shy side as I stretched myself to pull people in to dance in a Sicilian square.

The smiles on people’s faces in the hospitals, hospices, orphanages and other such places as we blew bubbles, spoke to them, and handed out Yankees caps was worth a million.  No, it’s not my new career, but it did open me up more to myself and others.

3. Seek out opportunities to do good; don’t wait to be asked.  It feels good to extend yourself.

I must admit my mother was my main teacher of this one.  But I only really started recognizing it and acting upon it after my daughter’s illness.  I looked and continue to seek out meaningful acts, both big and small.

From talking to a homeless person about his life while breaking bread to fostering a yellow lab that went on to become a service dog to a boy with cerebral palsy,  the feeling is exuberant.

4. There’s always time for work. Make time for play—and play hard.

We can’t wait to have time for play.  We have to build it in.  If I know I have a hectic day of work ahead of me, I will set aside even a half hour for something playful–a walk at night, or something else that brings me joy and pleasure.

If I have to take my daughter to one of her activities, I turn my waiting time into fun time.  Just last week, we took her into the city for a social event. Instead of groaning about schlepping into the city, we grabbed a 30 minute kayak ride on the Hudson River (Free kayaking from the parks department!)

It’s all in what you make of it.  Make it good.

5.  Pursue interests and passions. It keeps you feeling excited and alive.

Take that class you always wanted to take.  Build it into your life.  It’s about priorities.  Ballroom dancing has been on my “bucket list” for many years.  I don’t wait anymore and I don’t put things off.  So I found a class right in my own backyard.

I wanted to take a mindfulness course which I found in the city.  That became part of my schedule for eight weeks.  I made my travels into the city after work a leisure activity.

Go for it; the time is now.

If you’d like to submit a post to the site, read the submission guidelines and send your post to Lori at email @ tinybuddha.com.

by Sam Russell

“Compassion and happiness are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.” ~Dalai Lama

Showing compassion is one of the best ways to make the world a better place.

It isn’t always easy to have compassion for people—if they’ve hurt you, don’t see things the way you do, or seem to cause many of their own problems. It’s also easy to forget about certain people—people who live on the street, people who don’t have the voice to speak out, and sometimes even ourselves.

I freely admit that my compassion levels plummet in some of those cases and I end up feeling tremendous guilt when I realize what a beast I’ve been. It’s something I work at.

I think most of us could also put a little more thought into showing compassion for animals and the world around us. They are just as worthy, and the act just as important and rewarding.

Compassion is like a muscle; the more you work it, the stronger it becomes. Here are a few ways simple ways to work that muscle and make the world a better place:

1. Remember: Everyone’s Litter is Our Litter

It’s so easy to walk past an empty packet of whatever discarded on the floor and pretend it’s not there—consciously and unconsciously.

Everyone must be acutely aware of our rapidly changing environment. We can see it all around us as we become increasingly urbanized. We see it, or rather don’t, as blue skies are replaced with a thick haze of pollution.

The simple act of picking up that bit of trash and depositing it in the nearest bin is an enormous act of compassion for our planet.  Keeping it free from pollutants (that can harm or kill wildlife) is a small and loving step that benefits the world around you.

It’s also compassionate to others and ourselves since millions of tax dollars are spent picking up litter each year.

To learn more, visit Keep America Beautiful: Litter Prevention, Waste Reduction, Beautification

2. Help the Strays

Stray animals aren’t any less living beings just because they don’t have a home, the same way people living on the streets aren’t any less human because they too are homeless.

It’s always best to contact local animal welfare agencies if you do see a wandering stray. Odds are someone lost their pet and is starting to worry. If it is a stray, it may be scared, sick, or injured meaning it needs your help.

Resist the urge to shoo it away and go about your day. They might be feeling lonely or are just really pleased to see you.

I’ve always felt that ignoring the random cat that wanders up to you meowing away is like ignoring a person who greets you with open arms. They don’t care if you haven’t shaved or are still in your slippers. It’s great to see you.

Just remember to approach cautiously so you don’t scare the animal or put yourself in danger.

To learn more, visit The Humane Society of the United States: What to Do If You Find a Stray Pet

3. Give the Earth a Drink

You should keep houseplants and gardens sufficiently hydrated anyway but I understand what it’s like to look out at your thirsty garden and think “I’ll sort it out tomorrow.”  Its funny how tomorrow ends up turning into next week.

Plants, like us, are living things that depend on water to survive. Imagine if you were feeling a bit on the dry side, wilting slightly, and you were denied a cool glass of water until a few days later. You’d probably be crawling on the ceiling by then.

Sure plants have the benefit of rain, but not all the time. During the summer, they need us to put aside the “I’ll do it later” thoughts and act out of the sheer understanding that they really do need a good soak.

To learn more, visit TLC, How Stuff Works: How to Water Plants/Water Conservation

4. Don’t Squish the Spider!

Admittedly some spiders can be dangerous to us—if in doubt, call animal welfare and keep your distance—but most of the time we get scared simply because of how they look.

Spiders are beautiful and amazing creatures. Even if like me, you’re arachnophobic, I implore you to swallow some of that fear and learn about them.

They’re as diverse and skilled and creative as we are; they have families they provide for and they play just as an important role in our ecosystem as every other creepy-crawlers in this world. In fact, they control the insect population. (If you don’t love flies, killing spiders is highly counterproductive.)

If you come across a spider, allow this thought to run through your mind before you dispatch it: how would you feel if a giant foot/newspaper/swatter/etc. came crashing down on you?

We’re much larger than spiders are, so we don’t really have all that much to worry about. No matter how scary they look.

To learn more, visit The Xerces Society: for invertebrate conservation.

5. Drive with care

Our world is crisscrossed with roads cutting through areas of land that were once barely populated by people. Connectivity is important, but it’s also crucial to remember that many of the highways constitute what used to be animals’ homes and territory.

Keep your eyes open for warning signs about animals crossing. These signs indicate a very real possibility. It’s vital for your safety as much as, say, a deer’s to slow down. If you hit a large animal at speed or lose control of the vehicle, neither of you will fare very well.

Even clipping an animal with the car can cause it severe damage and suffering. If you do hit an animal, try to stop in a safe place and call animal welfare, the same way that you’d call an ambulance if you hit a person.

It’s not just large mammals that are at risk either; smaller mammals like foxes, rabbits and badgers, birds and domesticated animals too, are all exposed to the possibility of being seriously injured or killed on the roads.

When you’re next stuck in a traffic jam, look out onto the gutters of the roadside and see how many dead birds and mammals you can spot. They were trying to get from A to B too, just like us. (They may even have been attracted to the road by litter, bringing us back to where we started.)

To learn more, visit Vegan Reader: 5 Tips to Prevent Road Kill

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We can easily adapt the image of the Buddhist monk sweeping his path as he goes to our own busy lives. All it requires is a bit of extra attention to our environment.

If you’re as passionate as I am about the natural world, you could support a local charity through donations and/or volunteering. You could even take the plunge and go vegetarian (it’s not that scary, honest).

Compassion and its benefits extend beyond consideration of human life. It’s one of our most defining qualities as human beings—and we have countless opportunities to express it to the world around us.

by Lori Deschene

“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

If you asked an 8-year old version of me to list all the things I loved, it might have looked something like this:

• Ice cream
• Swings
• Snow days
• Beach days
• More ice cream
• Saturday morning cartoons

In fact, I’m sure I could have created an inventory longer than my usual Christmas list, including a ton of things that either tasted, felt or looked good.

It didn’t occur to me until later in life that some of the best things are intangible; and that I could experience them at any time if I just opened my heart and mind to let them in.

I think most of us know that intellectually—that pride in your work can be more valuable than what it buys, for example. But sometimes we get so caught up in securing the trappings of the good life—the house, the car, the furnishings the clothes—we’re too distracted to notice and appreciate the intangibles.

That’s not to say there’s something wrong with enjoying material things. I’m still a huge fan of my TV (flatter and larger), ice cream (OK, frozen yogurt now) and days off (though I can’t seem to negotiate any snow days into my adult California lifestyle). It’s just that there’s so much more to love about life that doesn’t cost a dime.

With this in mind, I asked Tiny Buddha’s Facebook followers, “What do you love about life?” Some of my favorite responses include:

1. Love. (Hansoul Kim)

2. Family. (Jo Alunan Taguinod)

3. Just being able to wake up to the sun shining in the morning. (Norma Lewis)

4. The ability to overcome hardships and appreciate what I already have instead of wishing I had more. (Ivy Lokojarvi)

5. Our ability to empathize. It allows us to connect and support each. (Heather Fulton)

6. The ridiculous things my dog and cats do. They live in the moment and enjoy being alive, and it reminds me to do the same. (Rachel Campbell)

7. That I am someone who makes a real difference in the world. (Marlu A Soria)

8.Moments of realization that I’m not as alone as I too often think I am. (Caleb Davis)

9. My children being healthy and happy. (Angelica Ortega)

10. Every breath I take reminds me I’m still here and still have much to enjoy. (Lorna Goodman)

11. The ones who never give up on me. (Li Maddocks)

12. Positive and creative people. (Vicky Agnew)

13. I love the moments when more than one person ‘get’s’ the illusory joke and for a moment sees that we are one. (Darla Shanti Serafina)

14. The love and support of my life partner. (Diane Delude)

15. Being alive and happy at this moment because is the only thing that exists. (Indi Pa)

16. Affecting people without realizing it. (Mike Love)

17. The beauty of it. No matter how bad things get, there is always something beautiful to keep us going forward. (Noel Knights)

18. All the funny people. (Neelie Echelon Michele Oliver)

19. Hope. (Majo Bustamante)

20. The unexpected things. (María Victoria Arteaga Hung)

21. That every moment in life is a chance for a new beginning. (Vanessa Powell)

22. Creating abundant joy is what I love most about life. (Shyloh Robinson)

23. The diversity that everyone brings to the table. (Andy Clemenko)

24. Trying new things. (Karen Gallion-Biggers)

25. The amazing way the universe can materialize just what you need. (Allison Seals McGee)

26. The way life’s traumas end up making the good times even sweeter. (Lisa McConnell)

27. Second chances. (Shari Ouillette)

28. I love when my daughter smiles at me, and says “Mommy, I love you.” (Haydee Lopez Cruz)

29. Freedom of choice! (Denise Robinson)

30. Everyday is another chance to get it right. (Jan Bu)

31. Seeing small plants start to bud and grow. (Erin Anderson)

32. It’s the little things that matter the most to me, like kisses on my forehead. (Manda Keifer)

33. I love the fact that I can see only love around me. (Kalpana Tewani)

34. People, nature, animals—everything. (Aisha Ar Radiyah)

35. Opportunities to start all over again. (Cristina Villacres)

36. Good food, good friends, good health, and a good night’s sleep! (Mikel O’Brien)

37. Smiles and laughter. (Erin Leslie Cassinelli)

38. Being free to do what I want when I want how I want. (Kim Toney)

39. How there are many paths to happiness, not just one. (Melanie Hazim ॐ)

40. The fact that nothing is permanent. You can always change what you don’t like. (Marcia Johnson)

41. All the free things like air, fresh water, kisses from my love, a hug from my daughter, learning from other people, observing nature and smelling flowers. ( Sarita A. Salas)

42. That we never really know what’s going to happen next. (Slovydal O’Brien)

43. Music. (Lori O’Connor)

44. The spontaneous and unexpected, if it’s positive. (Teresa O’Connor)

45. Knowing the difference between being alive and living. (Belinda Poree)

46. The incredible beauty that surrounds us if we look. (Jeanne E. Rohen)

47. Small moments of enlightenment that show you the path towards being a more fulfilled and compassionate human being. (Jacky Casumbal)

48. Quiet time. (Gerri Mills)

49. Being at peace. (Kylie Alyce Popejoy)

50. All of you. (Dan Schoenig)

I second that, Dan. Thanks to all of Tiny Buddha’s friends for being there and being you!

by Sonya Derian

I have this morning ritual. I sit in my living room and write down all the things I love about my life.  It’s not really that elaborate. My list is usually quite simple.

This morning I wrote about how much I love my new accountant; how grateful I was that the sun came out today; how good it felt to be sore from the yoga class the day before; and how much I enjoy watching my dog play with her toy.

I do this because I know that what you focus on grows—so why not focus on growing the parts of life that I love?

I once had a teacher who would always tell me, when faced with a decision, “Choose Life”. I took this to mean: make the decision in the direction of expansion, creativity, joy—life.

In my morning ritual, after writing everything I love about my life—after I’ve gotten into a juicy state of appreciation—I then direct the energy forward by writing what I want in my life.

It might be limited traffic if I’m going to be on the road that day, or gaining clarity on something I need an answer to. Or it might be inspiration for a project I’m working on or money flowing to pay my taxes.

Or it might be something more universal–I want the Haitians to have shelter and a roof covering their heads before the monsoon.

We are so conditioned to be at the effect of our lives, that we often forget the power we wield to be the cause. Sometimes the simple act of stating what we want begins the process of creating that end. This is why making a decision is so powerful.

Anyway, while I was doing my morning ritual reading over some of my writing, I came across a passage that actually inspired this memo:

“I want to make feeling good my new religion”

What would it be like to make feeling good a religion?  Does it sound too hedonistic?

I think most of us lean the other way. We have duties, responsibilities, jobs to do. We show up out of obligation. We do something because we think we should, or have to, or we’ve always done it that way, even though it stopped serving us a long time ago.

We don’t have time. Who has time to feel good? We have work to do!

But really, aren’t the simple pleasures in life what create the moments you savor?

Last week I was in LA visiting my family. My sister asked if I wanted to spend time with my niece, who was on spring break, while she was at work. So as an activity, I suggested to my niece as well as my retired parents that we all go bowling. Why not?

On a Monday morning, we’re at All Star Lanes, the only foursome in the place. We’re bowling to 50′s music and watching as more than one ball goes down the gutter, but cheering each other nonetheless.

At the end of our game, my mom takes out her camera—she brings it with her everywhere—and asks the guy working the shoes to take a picture.

It’s a moment. And it’s wonderful. And it goes in my “things I love about my life” notebook.

My dad said something interesting to me the other day. They just got back from a trip to Australia and now they’ve decided to plan a new trip to China. He said, “When you’re my age, you have to plan things to look forward to.”

There’s something poignant about this. We all have to have something to look forward to, and sometimes we have to be the ones that create that for ourselves.

We have to be the ones responsible for our happiness. And yes, even though it seems trite, it is important.

Why?

Tell me that your happiness doesn’t make an impact on your work place. That it doesn’t make an impact on your children. Or your relationship. That your happiness doesn’t make an impact on strangers. Or your health. Tell me that your happiness doesn’t make an impact on the planet.

Today and every day do something for yourself that brings you pleasure.

It could be as simple as buying yourself a bouquet of flowers to enjoy on your table. Sitting under the sun for a half-hour in the middle of the week. Going on an artist’s date to somewhere new.

Getting all your loose change together and buying yourself a mocha. Discovering a local park trail. Perusing the travel section in your local bookstore and deciding where you’d like to visit.

Pulling out an old recipe book and cooking something new. Spending the extra .75 cents and buying the vine ripened tomatoes for your salad because it tastes better. Packing a picnic and heading somewhere wonderful with your family. Sitting in your backyard listening to the birds sing.

In other words, find something that will make you happy and do it every day. Make feeling good your new religion.

Why?

For self-transformation and planetary change. Or, simply because it makes you happy.

Want to contribute a post? Read our submission guidelines then drop us a line at email @ tinybuddha.com.

by Axel Gjertsen

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.” ~Unknown

I was in a motorbike accident in 1987. Believe it or not, it was on September the 11th. The physician in the emergency room delivered the bad news and told me the right knee cap had cracked. That day changed my life forever.

How could I accept that I wouldn’t ever be able to run again?

The physical injury took years to heal, and a lot of time passed before I slowly started to accept my new situation. In the meantime, I got depressed.

Life Can Be Beautiful

That might seem like an ironic heading coming after the preceding line, but hear me out. Life is beautiful every time you’re able to accept something that has gone wrong. When you can feel good on the whole even though things aren’t going your way you know emotional freedom. What more could you ask for?

The opposite would be the guy who shouts in despair, “Not again, for God’s sake!” when his sports car breaks down in the middle of nowhere or needs thousands of dollars of work on that car. Neither is a fun situation to be in. But what about people that don’t even have food to eat?

It’s all about perspective, isn’t it? Are you looking at life through Ray Bans or from a refugee camp? We must learn to see and appreciate what we have and shift our attention from what we’ve lost.

So, let me point out three steps that can make your life truly beautiful. While it’s true that people who have experienced trauma are often more likely to see things differently, you don’t need to go through some life-shattering experience to become more accepting and peaceful. You can start out from where you’re at now.

1. Find Solutions Instead of Complaining

It is completely meaningless to complain about things. Negative people drain everyone around them—and complaining won’t change your situation for the better either. You may think it makes you feel better, but it actually just keeps you down—and it’s fruitless.

Don’t waste your energy complaining. Use it more wisely.

You could complain for a lifetime about the leaking roof on your house but as long as you don’t do anything about it, you’re stuck in the situation.

Instead, ask yourself, “What can I do to solve the problem?” And if you can’t solve it, where can you focus your energy more productively? What things can you control?

2. Practice Letting Go

How can you accept a devastating loss or change, for example that you won’t ever be able to run again?

From my way of looking at it, you have two choices.

One is to hold on to the way things were. Personally, I loved jogging which made it harder to accept the physical impairment. But if you can’t accept life the way it is, you have a big problem–because we cannot change what already has happened. Resisting the flow of life will only make you unhappy.

The other choice is to bite the bullet and accept life the way it is. That takes courage but the process will empower you enormously. The ability to let go of things in everyday life makes for happiness and ease. You can even laugh when you miss a bus that’s departed five minutes early.

Start out by accepting small things, such as stepping on a chewing gum or losing some change. You’ll be surprised–bit by bit you’ll be able to let go of most mishaps that come your way.

3. Let Beauty In

When you’re focused on everything that’s lacking, it’s hard to fully notice, appreciate and enjoy what’s there.

Look around you, there’s beauty all around—what an amazing planet! Beaches and mountains, colorful fish in the ocean, birds flying across the sky, music and culture, blueberry ice cream, kissing in the sunset and lifelong friendships. There is so much to live for; this could potentially be paradise.

Learn to see and appreciate what you have as opposed to giving too much attention to what you’ve lost.

Open up to what is truly beautiful and important in life. For example, look at a flower and enjoy its fragile beauty; take your mom on a surprise picnic or give yourself a day to relax.

Most of us keep the blinds shut, closing off to life. Some of us even repeat the mantra, “Been there, done that.” The truth is every  experience is new, and it’s up to you how complete or lacking it seems.

Take on the curiosity of a child. Open up and explore life as if it were your first day here, regardless of what you’ve had or lost. You can choose to focus on either. What’s your choice?

by Lori Deschene

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to leave the world a better place; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

My father is my hero, and one of the most successful men in the world.

When I was a kid he worked two full-time blue-collar jobs to support me and my siblings. He didn’t have a college degree—he attended briefly on a golf scholarship and then got hurt—but he compensated with hard work.

Though many people wouldn’t be happy with that type of life, I never once heard him complain. Being someone who prefers a simple routine over ambition, he stayed in the printing industry until he got laid off last year.

Though he’s inspired me in a million ways, he’s done two things exceedingly well: enjoy his life, and treat everyone with kindness and respect.

I thought about this the other day while flipping through Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People list. As I read about leaders and luminaries who’ve made huge impact on the world, I started to think about the important little things we all do on a daily basis.

You may not have won the Nobel Peace Prize, but that doesn’t mean you’re not influential in making the world a peaceful place. You may not have created a tool that connects millions of people the world over, but you’re still the glue that holds people together in more ways than you even realize.

I haven’t always given myself credit for all the good I do. If you can relate, you may enjoy this reminder of all the ways you make the world a better place.

Love and Kindness

1. Loving people even in their weakest moments and giving them strength. As Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can’t take me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

2. Forgiving someone instead of holding a grudge which gives them peace of mind. That peace of mind ripples back into the world.

3. Listening just to help someone find their own way when it would be easier to dominate the conversation.

4. Helping someone who can’t offer you anything in return.

5. Noticing someone’s positive efforts that often go unappreciated. Everyone wants to believe they make a difference. Sometimes a little gratitude inspires them to make an even bigger impact.

6. Showing a child through actions how to be a good person. Children learn from what we do more than what we say.

7. Giving someone a book that might change their life. As Mark Twain said, “The man who does not read great books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.”

8. Forgiving yourself and letting go of the past. You can only love yourself if you cut yourself some slack—and you can only love other people if you love yourself.

9. Taking care of your family’s needs, both physical and emotional. It’s not easy to do both simultaneously and well.

10. Connecting two people whose lives will improve for knowing each other.

Strength and Commitment

11. Making the effort to know yourself. Focused introspection—taking an honest assessment of who you are and what makes you happy—is the first step toward living a beautiful life.

12. Acknowledging a mistake and growing through the process

13. Working through it when you’re having a hard day. A lot of people shut down when times get difficult. Whenever you keep going you have every reason to feel proud.

14. Finding joy in your work regardless of your success. In an achievement-oriented society, focusing on the journey and not the outcome is an act of greatness.

15. Putting your heart into your blog, regardless of your readership. Even if only one person learns from your experiences, you’ve made a powerful difference through your words.

16. Staying in the game even when you think you might lose. Sticktoitiveness is an attribute to celebrate. It helps you be the person you want to be regardless of what you accomplish.

17. Honoring a promise when you’re tempted not to keep it.

18. Actually being the person you claim to be, however that translates into action.

19. Comparing yourself to an older version of you instead of other people. There’s no better way to measure your growth and motivate yourself to keep going.

20. Having the strength to walk away from a person or situation that isn’t good for you.

Health and Hope

21. Meditating, practicing yoga, or taking a calming walk. Every time you melt your stresses and foster inner peace you help make the world a more peaceful place.

22. Taking care of your body by exercising, whether it’s running after your dog or running a marathon. 190 million Americans are overweight and at risk for health complications. Taking care of yourself is a prerequisite to anything else you want to do in the world.

23. Helping someone else become healthier, by inviting them for a walk or making them a healthy meal.

24. Making one minor change for healthier eating, like going without butter. Little changes can make a big difference. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

25. Trusting your inner voice instead of letting the world make decisions for you.

26. Creating a positive environment that nurtures everyone who enters it.

27. Understanding instead of arguing. Good for your mental well-being and other people’s, too.

28. Doing anything to take care of the earth—cleaning up a park, or reducing your carbon footprint.

29. Enjoying yourself regardless of what you’ve gotten done. Enjoyment is success.

30. Being the change you want to see in the world instead of growing jaded.

Purpose and Possibilities

31. Believing in your own potential. It’s easy to get down on yourself, particularly when the economy isn’t in great shape. Any time you build yourself up you’ve set the stage to change the world.

32. Telling someone else you believe in their potential. You never know what act of greatness you might inspire, however big or small.

33. Taking one small step to fill your life with meaning based on what matters to you. People who live with passion and purpose inspire everyone around them.

34. Keeping an open mind, both to create new possibilities for yourself and to increase your chances of loving and helping people.

35. Doing something that scares you. The more willing you are to take risks, the greater your odds of feeling fulfilled in life. Fulfillment is success.

36. Supporting a cause that matters to you, whether that means making a small donation or doing the walk for breast cancer.

37. Mentoring someone who’d like to do what you do. When you help someone live their dreams you’re a meaningful part of their happiness.

38. Learning from someone else. Sometimes it’s powerful to be the apprentice and not the expert.

39. Creating. Music, poetry, jewelry, movies, websites, buildings—anytime you crease something with heart and positive intentions it’s a gift to the world.

40. Opening your world to new people. No one is an island. Every time you open your world to someone else, you create the possibility of inspiring and being inspired.

As always, I haven’t created a thorough list. This is just the beginning. Reach out! What minor success have you celebrated or noticed today?

by Lori Deschene

Thank you to everyone who entered The Book of Awesome giveaway on Monday! The two winners who will each receive The Book of Awesome, autographed by Neil Pasricha, are:

• MTraum
• Kimberly Oi

You will each receive an email shortly requesting your address.

If you didn’t already see it, pop over and read the book review. If you’d like to buy a copy, it’s available on Amazon.

I’d like to take this opportunity to update everyone on some new developments on tinybuddha.com. You may have noticed there are a few extra pages on the site: About, FAQ, and Support.

I’ve provided a little information here about Tiny Buddha, and also outlined how you can help the site grow. Since the site launched in September, 2009, over 150,000 people have visited, and that number increases every day. We’ve recently switched servers to accommodate the traffic, and we’re working on some new developments to make the site even more useful to you.

There are currently no ads here; and you can be sure this will never become a highly commercialized site. However, I do finance this site independently, and expansion costs. If you’re able to donate, it would make a big difference and be greatly appreciated.

The site is and will remain free, and there is no obligation to make a monetary contribution. For other ideas to support Tiny Buddha, visit our support page. Thank you for reading and sharing your wisdom in comments here and on Facebook.

by Sam Russell of Cack-handed

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown

I grew up believing that nothing I did was ever good enough and this is something that I still carry with me.

It affects every aspect of my life: my hobbies, skills, my relationships, and even the understanding I have of my body, physical appearance, and my mental health. I often think that I must have done something quite terrible in a past life to go through any of this, to not be good enough.

As certain as I’ve been of this, I’ve been sure I wasn’t responsible for these attitudes and beliefs. That other people did this to me, so I literally can’t let go of the pain they caused. They hurt me too much–did too much damage for me to confront them, stand up to them, and forgive them.

But blaming others hasn’t helped me move on and become the person I want to be. It’s helped me stay a victim, sure—got me some sympathetic ears along the way—but it hasn’t helped me get out of bed with a smile every morning for the past twenty-odd years. It’s made me feel sluggish and sick to my stomach whenever the thoughts and memories worked their way into my consciousness.

There’s no mystery to the way I think. Negative thinking is exactly that: negative.  However, understanding negative thoughts is paramount to overcoming them.

It’s taken me a while to connect with the idea that the harmful actions of others has shaped my thinking; and it’s taken me just as long to realize that it’s time to let go. Change can come quickly but more often, it’s a gradual process in which we endure and learn many lessons. I don’t want to feel like this anymore so I have to start changing my attitudes.

Attitudes I’m Changing

1. I’m a waste of time. Not true. I make a difference simply by being; and because I’m a strict vegetarian and an environmental and animal welfare campaigner, I know I make a positive difference. My close friends wouldn’t consider me a waste of time. Even though I find it difficult to believe sometimes, they do value my ideas and opinions and they love my company.

2. Nothing that I do is good enough. My ideas of perfection aren’t mine—those ideas belong to other people. How can I ever live up to someone else’s perfection? I can’t. There are many things I can do with great success but in order to make those achievements real for me, I have to define my own perfection: peanut butter on toast, growing my own fruit and vegetables, the smell of freshly baked vegan cookies, writing off the cuff and producing lucid prose.

3. I deserve pain. No I don’t, nobody does. There’s a difference between accepting responsibility for how you think about hurtful things other people have done, and taking the blame for those actions. I’ve not done anything to deserve the things that have happened to me.

4. I’ll never be happy. Not with that attitude I won’t, but then aren’t I already happy? I may not have all the things I want yet, like my dream job, but I do have a lot of other things in my life that mean a lot to me: my friends, my home, my cat, my family, waking up to the river every morning, my floating garden (I live on a boat), my creativity. Happiness comes from the small things—it comes from inside of me. I don’t buy happiness or find it or receive it; I make it, for myself and others.

The fact that people sometimes hurt other people won’t change. My attitudes that have left me open to suffering –my attitudes—will change.

It’s taking time to work through these things and I don’t expect to be finished by next Monday, but that’s what I love about change and self-improvement – there’s no pressure to be complete tomorrow. I can do it all at my own pace, in a way that suits me. I’m a work-in-progress. And that gives me a lot of hope.

Interested in contributing? Read our submission guidelines and drop us a line at email @ tinybuddha.com.