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Category “change & challenges”

Woman in a Ski Jacket

7 Things to Realize When You Think You Don’t Matter

“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz of Shiraz

Have you ever felt like you didn’t matter?

Were you ever held back from pursuing something because the voice in your head said, “Why bother?”

You’re not alone.… Read More

Jumping Happy Woman

How to Change Your Life by Changing the Stories You Tell Yourself

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

I used to watch people on the streets and in restaurants and think that their boisterous conversations and broad smiles were evidence that they lived a life much better than mine.

I assumed that they were happier than me, smarter than me, and worth more than me.… Read More

Woman and Sunset

How to Intentionally Embrace Change in the New Year

“Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.” ~Glenda Cloud

What do you do when you come to the end of a calendar year as it approaches the start of another one? Do you get caught up in the festive season hype and then, as you roll into the new year, find it all a bit anticlimactic?… Read More

Man In a Box

Why We Feel Stuck in Life and the Secret to Dealing with It

It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.” ~Dale Carnegie

We’ve all felt like we’re drowning in mud.

You feel stuck, worthless, and confused.

You want to move. You should. You have to. But you can’t.

And then it evolves into anxiety, fear, and overwhelm.… Read More

Friends Laughing

Transforming Shame Into Love, One Good Deed At A Time

“No one is useless in the world who lightens the burdens of another.” ~Charles Dickens

A few years back, I saw a sticker that read, “Be the change you wish to see in the world. –Gandhi.”

My knee-jerk reaction was annoyance because the sticker was affixed to the bumper of a car that turned left in front of me.… Read More

Man with raised arms

Why People Who Embrace Their Imperfections Go Far

“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” ~Proverb

I was having a conversation with a group of friends that I meet up with occasionally, and my friend—let’s call her Sarah—started talking about perfectionism.

She said that people used to describe her as a perfectionist and she’d wonder what they were talking about because, according to Sarah, she couldn’t do anything right.… Read More

Strong Woman

You Have the Strength and Wisdom to Thrive Through Hard Times

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” ~Abraham Lincoln

Nothing can ever really prepare you for a cancer diagnosis, but it can quickly turn your life into an unplanned story.

Diagnosed at the age of twenty-eight with ocular melanoma, I was treated with surgery and proton beam therapy, and gratefully continued on with my life (though certainly a changed person).… Read More

Woman Alone at Night

Unlearning Self-Loathing That’s Passed Down Through Generations

“Embrace and love your body. It is the most amazing thing you will ever own.” ~Unknown

The first time I made myself throw up to feel skinny, I was five years old. My grandmother still loves to tell this story—she thinks it’s funny.

The story goes like this: I tell my grandmother my stomach feels sick.… Read More

Smiling Gingerbread Man

The Best Christmas Gift Ever: Finding Blessings in Challenges

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands.” ~Richard Bach

Recently, I began reflecting on a time in my life I hadn’t thought about in a while.

I began remembering the time when I was five years old and staying with my great aunt and uncle, because the town my mom and I lived in was under siege and unsafe.… Read More

Woman Looking Out Window

Change How You Feel by Changing Your Perspective

“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

While I was a going through what I considered the worst divorce in history, I remember waking up every day thinking throughout the day what a horrible thing divorce was. I wondered how other people had gone through it and come out with their sanity, and not marred with cynicism about love and life.… Read More

Man Alone

Why You Feel Alone with Your Feelings and Why You Never Are

“Life is actually really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ~Confucius

There were times when I felt that my thoughts had complete control over my life. I could convince myself of anything, really. My thoughts would rarely lift me up and, instead, convince me I would fail.

I would fail at relationships.… Read More

Woman with Tear

Accepting, Feeling, and Releasing Painful Emotions

“Eventually you will come to realize that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” ~Gary Zukav

Last year I developed some unexplained symptoms that could be likened to IBS, Chron’s disease, or even morning sickness (although I wasn’t pregnant, so there was no promise of a baby to make it all worth it).… Read More

Man Thinking

How To Change The Past By Changing Your Thinking

“The most positive action we can take about the past is to change our perception of it.” ~Deepak Chopra

Death didn’t happen quickly like in the movies.

A compassionate nurse set the tone and gently guided us through the ordeal. Mom, Dad, my other brother, and I spread out so that one of us held each of Chris’ hands and feet with a person at his head.… Read More

Woman with hand over her mouth

3 Tips to Help You Stop Saying Things You Regret

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha

I initially saw this quote and, in true ego-first fashion, thought of my kids: this’ll be perfect for them. I’ll put it up in the kitchen as a regular reminder to stop pestering each other.… Read More

Sad Woman

Overcoming the Fear of Being Judged for Your Mistakes

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected, or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker

For years I struggled with a nagging feeling of guilt. This was not for actual things I did, but just a feeling that anytime something went wrong in my life, it was somehow my fault.… Read More

Woman in Tree Pose

Living Right Now: You Are Not Your Thoughts and Feelings

“Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. ” ~Reinhold Niebuhr

Think about the future! Don’t do something you’ll regret! You need to plan for tomorrow! I wish I hadn’t done that! Will things ever work out?… Read More

Smiling Woman

A Surprising Way to Get Through Hard Times

“Almost everything comes from nothing.” ~Henri F. Amiel

There are uncountable ways to deal with difficult times in life. Some people turn to prayer or meditation, others open their hearts in therapy or to friends, and many choose to hide from the pain by eating their weight in chocolate or purchasing expensive bags; to each their own.… Read More

Mourner

When the People We Love No Longer Exist

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” ~Steve Jobs

A week ago a woman I loved died. She was a member of my family and had been dying for a while from bone cancer, so her death did not come as a surprise.… Read More

Light at the end of the tunnel

How a Major Crisis Can Sometimes Be a Blessing in Disguise

“Pain can change you, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.” ~Unknown

Ten years ago my life changed in a dramatic way. While at first what I experienced in 2004 seemed like a major disaster, it turns out that sometimes what seems like the worst life experience can actually be one of our biggest blessings.… Read More

Confident Man

8 Secrets To Developing Confidence (So Self-Doubt Never Sabotages You Again)

By

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.” ~Seneca

I can still remember it like it happened yesterday.

There I was. Ten years old. It was my first day back at school.

I walked past the enormous church that marked the entrance of the school compound.… Read More

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