tinybuddha.com

by Lori Deschene

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” ~Jamie Paolinetti

You probably know which things you can do and which things you can’t, right?

You know how to complete the tasks your job requires. You have other strengths that you’ve honed and used throughout the years. You have a good idea of similar things you’d be good at, as well.

Then there’s the other list. Perhaps it looks a little like this:

I can’t start my own business; there’s just so much I don’t know. I couldn’t possibly fly a plane; I don’t even drive that much. I can’t backpack through Europe; I could never find the time.

What differentiates these two lists are your beliefs—beliefs about your intelligence, strengths, and potential, and beliefs about what’s possible in general.

Before Roger Bannister ran a 4-minute mile in 1954, the sporting world didn’t think it could be done. After Bannister proved otherwise, dozens of other athletes accomplished the same feat. All it took was a shift in belief to push them past their comfort zone.

You decide what you can and can’t do. And then you do it, starting with one simple action.

Get started on that dream you’ve shelved for some day when you have more time, more patience, or more knowledge. Take a step outside your comfort zone and challenge what you believe is possible.

Never do you feel as alive as when you actually do what you dream of doing. The act of beginning is a powerful reminder that every moment is an opportunity to create the life you want.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

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by Lori Deschene

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~Voltaire

There are a lot of impressive people in the world. Some innovate and invent things that help masses of people. Some use art to tell powerful stories that move viewers to action. Others make the world a better place by being helpful within their own sphere of influence, however small or large it may be.

Those little things define people.

The way your neighbor asks how you’re doing and really listens for the answer. How your coworker supports your ideas, and gives you encouragement to see them through. The way your sister makes your house a better place by staying calm when others seem stressed.

All acts of greatness that affect other people, whether they notice or not.

Noticing is a powerful act.

A compliment rooted in truth creates more than just a smile. It shows someone you see the good in them independent of what they achieve. It tells them they not only matter; they really make a difference. Something we all hope to do.

Tell someone what you see today.  Let them know how simply being them makes a difference in your world. Life looks a lot brighter when you open your eyes to the light in people around you.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

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by Lori Deschene

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss

As children we’re taught just say no—and we do it with abandon.

Want to come inside and get ready for dinner? No! Want to shut off the TV and go grocery shopping? No! Want to wear the glittery holiday sweater grandma bought you last year? You know where this is going.

Then you get older and learn about etiquette. You get that sometimes you need to do things you don’t want to. You understand that other people’s feelings matter; and you need to consider them before making decisions.

What you don’t always learn is how to find a balance between doing for others and doing for yourself.

You say you value your time, but it’s difficult when you field a million requests through voicemail, email, IM and text.

You know you need to hold your ground if you want to be productive—or stay sane—but you don’t want to disappoint anyone, or even worse, leave them hanging when they need you.

It’s important to offer compassion and make sacrifices, but being everything to everyone will eventually backfire. At some point you won’t have much left to give. You’ll go through the motions, but you’ll feel exhausted. You’ll give your attention, but it will be distracted. You’ll say you don’t mind, but you’ll feel resentful.

Decide today what time and activities you need to do for you—and then make sure to do them. If someone makes a request that conflicts, unless it absolutely requires immediate attention tell you them you’d love to help but you have something important planned.

Whatever it is, it is important. You can only be strong and useful for the people around you if you honor your needs as much as theirs. If you really want to make them happy, do what you need to do for you—because people who love you want to please you just as much as you want to please them.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

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by Lori Deschene

“The secret to success is constancy to purpose.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

Most of us want to be successful—if not in monetary terms, then by our own definitions.

We want to feel a sense of meaning; to do something worthwhile that we can be proud of. Something that matters to people. Something that will live on after we do.

We often get so caught up in becoming who we want to be, that we miss on being those people right now.

We get so focused on striving—getting things done, crossing items off the to-do list—that we forget to simply enjoy that purpose that matters so much. We approach tasks like races, anxious to reach the finish line. And then move onto the next item—get just one foot closer to that dream.

Sometimes when we move closer through achievements, we move further away in passion.

Take the personal trainer who wishes he had more clients, so he obsesses about it all through his workout.

Or the child development author who puts so much effort into publishing her book that she zones out during time with her kids.

Or the gifted artist who works 14 hours a day at graphic design so one day he’ll have enough money to paint more.

Striving doesn’t have to mean disconnecting from your bliss.

Do what you love today. Not to get anywhere, just to do it.

You can absolutely reach your goals—and you should keep doing those things that get you there—but your purpose doesn’t need to be something you reach. It can be something you feel and enjoy right now.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

by Lori Deschene

Research indicates lottery winners are no happier than people who didn’t win, and in many cases, become depressed in the years following their win.

Scientists have surmised that we all have a baseline level of happiness—a range of joy we’ll stay within regardless of our external circumstances. The greatest factor in determining this joy is our mental attitude.

If you’d like to alter your baseline, instead of trying to change your circumstances, change the way you interpret them.

It sounds much easier said than done because it is. If you’ve always seen the glass as half-empty, you likely won’t transform into a positive thinker overnight. But you can take one simple step toward more positive thinking.

Pay special attention today to the way you react to things that happen to you. Acknowledge negative situations, and then realize you don’t have to respond negatively. You may even be able to see it as a blessing in disguise.

If you daughter gets into a minor accident in your car, you have an opportunity to teach her how to rebound from errors. If your coworker gets the promotion you wanted, you have an extra incentive to show your boss what you can do—which may help you more in the long run.

We can’t always control what happens to us. We can control how we respond—which ultimately dictates how we feel.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

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by Lori Deschene

Your boss could email. Your mother might call. Your boyfriend could text. A potential client might @reply. A colleague could leave a blog comment. Your cousin may IM with information you need to know now.

Everything seems urgent in an always-on world, where we can access each other at any time. Even if you manage to tune everything out, odds are you feel a little distracted.

People expect you to be available and they’re frustrated when you’re not. Or maybe it has nothing to do with them, and you just don’t want to disconnect. Who knows what you’ll miss if you disappear into your own space for a while.

Though you may lose the opportunity to get in a conversation mere moments after it started, you’ll gain something far greater by stepping back.

When you stop being available to everyone else, you become more available to what’s in front of you.

You let go of your phone, without worrying it might vibrate, and use both hands to hug your grandmother. You stop watching your email like a pot that hasn’t boiled, and actually taste the tea you usually multitask. You stop living each moment like a narrator watching and start feeling more alive in your experiences.

Be unavailable today, even if just for a little while. Unplug, slow down, and savor this moment. You can always get in on the conversation later–when you’ll likely enjoy it more. Connecting with people is far more fulfilling when you feel connected to yourself.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

Get more ideas to Do Happy.

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by Lori Deschene

“A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.” ~Bill Vaughn

You have bills. And obligations. And responsibilities.

And people who mean something to you: People who believe in you who you’d like to make proud. People who don’t believe in you who you’d like to prove wrong.

Things you want to accomplish, both for you and your family. Things you want to experience to feel you’ve lived a full life.

Things that keep you caught in a place in your head where now feels like no more than a vehicle to a better tomorrow.

Those people and things aren’t going anywhere. You can.

You can go to a place where anything seems possible. Where you see what’s right in front of you and fully enjoy it without stressing about something that happened or hasn’t happened yet.

A place where appearances don’t seem so important—so you play, and act silly, and ask questions, and respond honestly, without censoring or judging your feelings.

A place where you feel good doing things that make you happy, no matter how long they’ll last, because they make you smile right now.

You can’t go back to three years old—you probably wouldn’t want to—but you can tap into all that joy.

Take recess today.

Give yourself permission to stop worrying and striving. Just be where you are. Focus on the wonder of something simple. Create something and have fun—do it just to have fun. Be curious, and playful, and easily impressed, and open. Even if just for a while.

A small break and a small shift in thinking can make a significant difference.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

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by Lori Deschene

“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice.” ~R.D.Laing

Have you ever noticed a new business on your route to work, only to later learn it’s been there for weeks?

Somehow in the hustle and bustle of your morning routine you missed an obvious change to your environment. It happens—and often on a much smaller scale.

As we do what we always do, we tend to focus on things we always see, and, as a result, think the way we always think. Even if you’re the most interesting person in the universe, your world will start to feel stale and dull if you lose sight of what’s in front of you.

There’s a whole lot of change to notice and appreciate, even if you’ve never left your hometown.

New leaves on a tree. A new chill in the air. New neighbors. New excitement at your local playground. New businesses, and billboards, and new solutions to problems. A new bounce in your mother’s step. New energy in your office. New passion within your friends. New perspectives on things that didn’t even change.

Open your eyes just a little wider. You may notice a new layer of beauty in a routine that stays the same.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

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by Lori Deschene

“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend, or a meaningful day.” ~Dalai Lama

Some sociologists argue that weak ties—the type you form with colleagues and online friends, for example—are the bane of modern life.

Instead of having meaningful conversations that bring us closer to people, we spend much of our time networking with a vast sea of strangers. We keep many interactions peripheral, failing to form the type of intimacy that benefits us emotionally and even physically.

A recent New York Magazine article titled Alone Together, challenged this idea since weak ties create possibilities for new and deeper connections.

Seize those possibilities.

Let your guard down. Talk to someone you don’t really know right from your heart. Don’t anticipate hurt or awkwardness. Just be you, in that beautiful way only you can, and give them the chance to open up, as well. When you believe in people, instead of responding in fear, they often surprise and amaze you.

Not everyone will see you. Appreciate you. Get you. But you never know which acquaintance could turn into a friend that feels like home.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

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by Lori Deschene

“We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.” –Dalai Lama

You see your uncle at the annual holiday party. It’s been almost six months since you saw him last. You’ve heard all about his company folding. You know his home’s gone into foreclosure.

But you hardly know each other these days. You don’t know his dog’s name, his favorite breakfast food, or how he likes to spend his Saturdays. He hasn’t shared any details about his life with you. It’s not your place to pry.

So you give him a peripheral hug. A loose arm around his shoulder, a quick brush of your cheek against his. Then you move back into the crowd, having bypassed a potentially uncomfortable moment.

Sometimes the most uncomfortable moments are the ones that make the biggest difference.

You don’t have to do it in words. We all know they’re a dime a dozen. You don’t have to extend a sympathetic gaze. It may come across as pity. A simple hug does so much more.

A real hug. The type that lets you feel someone’s heartbeat. The kind that tells the other person you’d hold them up if they needed it. The kind that says we’re not so different and I have faith in you.

The beauty is when you give that to someone else you generally get it in return.

Do happy. It’s something you’re due.

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