Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In

by Maelina Frattaroli

“The world doesn’t happen to you, it happens from you.” –Unknown

It’s easy for me to drown in the sea of day-to-day things. How can I not when technology, social networks, phone calls, and the pressure to be successful in spite of the economic downturn constantly bombard me?

It’s almost as if catching a breath of air—and not a forced one—has become increasingly difficult. The world, as we know it, is constantly evolving before our eyes. How are we to keep up? MUST we keep up if it means losing sight of the simplicities we cherish?

Some of us, myself included, become so immersed in everyone and everything with a sense of urgency and expediency; we become almost robotic “beings,” executing tasks just to complete them.

Don’t forget to breathe. Every breath of air is a well-earned one no matter who you are or what’s on your plate. As a human being, it is your right to unwind and take a break from the numbers, bills, texts, tweets, status updates, emails, phone calls, and the mesmerizing touch-screen wonderlands.

It is your right, and never too late, to allow yourself to experience and enjoy the little things; these simple—but real—pleasures: Click Here to Read More…

by Maelina Frattaroli

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” ~Proverb

A friend of mine once said, “If there’s a word in the English language I detest, it’s ’should’. What a pointless, useless, waste-of-space (euphemism for other choice adjective) word.”

I think he’s right on the money. At the risk of sounding hypocritical, you should consider the definition of should, as defined by dictionary.com:

Should: must; ought (used to indicate duty, propriety, or expediency): You should not do that.

There is always something we feel we cannot and should not do for fear of humiliation, regret, having to explain ourselves to others, and sometimes to ourselves.

Should is an instrument of regret. Maybe one of these sounds familiar to you:

• I should not have lashed out near the end of my last long-term relationship.
• He should not have been so insensitive or distant; that way I wouldn’t have lashed out.
• I should really get a grip on life; people must think I’m unmotivated and stagnant.
• I shouldn’t contact him so often; he must think I’m annoying or needy.
• I should stop acting upon my emotions because I’ll regret it later.
• I should clearly try harder because my boss doesn’t give me the time of day.

Some of these decisions may not lead to the results you want in life. But does it serve you to tag on a conditional disclaimer to everything you’ve said or done in the past? It does if you want, as F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, to “beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past” (The Great Gatsby). Click Here to Read More…

by Belinda Munoz

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” ~Annie Dillard

Time. It is arguably our most valuable commodity.

Unlike treasured gems, precious metals and any other prized possessions, time can’t be hoarded, collected, earned, or bought with hard work, money, dignity or our soul. It slips away whether or not we choose to pack meaning into it. Use it or lose it, so goes the saying.

Though we all know how limited our lives are in the time-space continuum, we sometimes act like we don’t know the value of time. We use words like spend, kill or waste when we speak of how we while away the finite number of hours in each day.

Time management systems abound and still, we flounder and falter at making the most of every sunrise. We plan for the future and neglect to cherish the present. We’d rather look back wistfully even though the future is full of hope.

And yet, for many of us, it seems there are not enough hours in a day. We cram all that goes with living into twenty-four hours of ticking, bargaining with Father Time, naively expecting him to budge to our willful and resolute intentions to produce more, accomplish more, be more.

We paddle in paradox, limbs flailing, trading in the quality of our lives while doggedly pursuing an idealized quality of life.

Time. Like all the treasures in the world, we can’t take it with us when we reach our final stop. Some among us may never be willing to embrace happiness in and with the time that we do have.

For the rest of us, here are ways to improve our relationship with time. (Some things may appear to be contradictory. This is a testament to the complex nature of our relationship with time.): Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” ~Gandhi

Both the industrial and digital revolutions promised increased productivity, meaning people could work less and live a more balanced life. We all know that’s not how history has played out.

Even as technology advances, we work longer hours than ever—and ironically, struggle financially and accrue more debt with each passing year.

If you haven’t noticed adverse effects on your personal relationships or the other areas of your life, you’ll likely keep plowing full-steam ahead—and only stop when you have a compelling reason.

So here’s my proposition: work as often as you damn well please! It’s your life; these are your moments to fill and hopefully enjoy. But if you find yourself feeling stressed or detached from the present moment—if you sense life is passing you by as you complete spreadsheets and eat at your desk—you may benefit from one of these ideas to slow down throughout the day: Click Here to Read More…

by Robbie S. Ward

“Living with the immediacy of death helps you sort out your priorities in life. It helps you to live a less trivial life.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche

Sitting in the ICU waiting rooms during recent months waiting to visit Mama, my life slowed down more than I can remember in recent memory. I had a lot of time to think about what I’ve done with my life in recent years.

Many things that seemed important at the time all of sudden seemed trivial. I realized how much my life had gotten out of control. I wasn’t a drug addict or alcoholic, but I had wasted many opportunities.

Sitting in the hospitals, I met parents whose children would probably die soon. Mama was transferred to another hospital before I found out. I met a woman whose husband was close to dying but made sure she spent every moment with him. I met families gathered during hard times.

Sometime between the visitation periods, I realized I won’t ever accomplish what I want in life if I didn’t change course. I have tried to do everything at full throttle at the same time. Focusing on too many projects at one time worked for a while but things seemed to fall break down on me. Click Here to Read More…

by Rachel Whalley

“I am not what happens to me. I choose who I become.” ~Carl Jung

Recently I experienced a big shock—the kind that most of us don’t encounter very often.

I was with a friend when I discovered evidence of a physical disaster near my home. I did not, at that time, know any of the details, nor did I know what kind of impact it might have on my own life.

Now, normally, I am a person who likes, even needs, to process my emotional impact verbally. In other words, I really like to talk things out. (What else would you expect from a professional therapist, right?)

But in this circumstance, I found myself unwilling to talk about my inner workings at all. My friend who was with me was even a little frustrated. She couldn’t understand why I shut down. I didn’t even know, myself.

So What Happened? Click Here to Read More…

by Melissa Kirk

“It is better to travel well than to arrive.” ~Buddha

I have this thing about road trips. I love them, can’t get enough of them. I could never step on another airplane for as long as I live and be perfectly fine with that—but I love having all the experiences that can only happen on the road.

Like my mom and I sleeping in our car in the parking lot of a closed motel on our way to Sedona, Arizona. We foolishly decided to forego the hotel strip outside of Phoenix and look for something more “quaint” – until, at 3 am, we realized we were in the middle of nowhere and the quaintest thing around were saguaro cactuses.

There’s something wonderful about having the experience of arriving somewhere understanding exactly what it took to get there; understanding the land, the people, the culture, and the weather in a way you can’t experience flying.

There’s also something about exploring the winding roads of my own country that intrigues me. The small differences and similarities are fascinating – driving from Tahoe City and ending up, after 3 hours on the road, in a tiny, one-horse town in Nevada eating BBQ and drinking beer with cowboys—these experiences keep the mind fresh and life interesting. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Technology pervades our world. From cell phones and laptops to iPods and digital cameras, the average person owns an arsenal of gadgets that, in many ways, simplify life. You can increase your productivity, connect with people quickly, and access information instantaneously—while documenting your every move via tweets and photos to upload to Twitpic or Facebook.

Which begs the question: at what point does technology stop enhancing life and start detracting from it?

When you feel tied to your phone and enslaved by your email, can you pull away, center, and take a tech-vacay outside the shadow of your laptop? Does it stress you out to disconnect in an always-on world where everything moves at the speed of light? And lastly, do the people in your life suspend their sense of urgency long enough to allow you a break?

The technology itself is not to blame; just like guns don’t cause violence, gadgets don’t obliterate our mindfulness. We’re in control of the tools we use. Still it isn’t easy to stay present and focused in a world that’s always plugged in—and to every available outlet.

The possibility of mindfulness underlies almost everything we publish at tinybuddha in an attempt to harness technology for personal growth and wisdom. With this in mind, I couldn’t be more delighted to learn about the Wisdom 2.0 Conference, which will take place on April 30^th and May 1^st in Mountain View, California.

Soren Gordhamer, who wrote a book also called Wisdom 2.0, has secured some amazing speakers who each have their own unique perspectives on wisdom in the tech age. Twitter, Facebook, and Google will all have a presence, not to mention Yoga Journal, Whole Foods, and a number of wellness-focused organizations.

While meeting with Soren last week to discuss the event and my possible involvement, I thought of some ideas to stay present in a world dominated by gadgets. Here’s what I came up with: Click Here to Read More…

by Andrew Deitrick

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” -Buddha

You experience and create all kinds of different energies that affect how you feel and what you accomplish throughout your day. Some energies are powerful and easily recognizable, while others are more subtle and often only intuitively felt. I believe it is fair to say that everything is, in a sense, energy.

The things you say, the things you think, the things you do—even the things you don’t do—all produce energy that impacts you and the people around you. If you work on creating more positive energy, you’ll see improvements in your life, and you’ll touch more lives than you thought possible.

So what do I mean by energy? Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Last week I had the honor of lunching with my friend new friend Meng, whose Google business card reads, “Jolly Good Fellow.” We met at a Project Happiness event, and I was taken by his warmth and kindness.

A practicing Buddhist, Meng was one of the first engineers at Google. He now runs Google University’s School of Personal Growth, when he’s not taking pictures with luminaries and celebrities.

Meng has a plan to create world peace by making meditation accessible to the masses. Through meditating, you can reduce your stress, create a clearer mental state, and develop a heightened sense of compassion. Still, it’s not a widely adopted practice. He believes people would be more likely to embrace meditation if it were considered a science, like medicine, as opposed to a spiritual practice; and if it became widely accepted as integral to our overall health and well-being, like exercise.

Though many people have written about the benefits of meditation, it’s not yet aligned with our lives like fitness is. Your workplace may offer you a gym membership—or even access to a gym on site—but odds are meditation isn’t part of your benefits package.

The key to bringing meditation to the mainstream, according to Meng, is highlighting how it can improve your emotional intelligence. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“The only Zen you find on tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.” ~Robert M. Persig

We live in a fast-paced, achievement-oriented society. At the end of a busy, to-do-list-focused day, we often find ourselves mentally and physically exhausted and uncertain whether we’re actually moving in the right direction in “the pursuit of happiness.”

Perhaps this explains our fascination with all things Zen. It’s become a buzzword in pop culture, branding products that have little to do with peace and enlightenment—and oftentimes, represent ideas that are diametrically opposed.

Zen Dharma Teacher Rev. Lynn “Jnana” Sipe takes an interesting look at Zen in titles in print publications, on all topics from automobiles to music. Some notable titles include: “Engine Zen,” “The Zen of Contractor Relations,” and “Zen and the Art of Propane Safety.”

Then there’s the vast world of products branded with Zen: tea, candles, rakes, fans, stones, books, eye masks, pillows, fountains, wind chimes, bath products, incense, oils, home décor. All intended to soothe our harried minds. It’s ironic that their acquisition requires more doing and earning—and possibly more stress. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

When I first sat down to write this piece for 5 Rules for Life, I wrote Live without rules five times, each followed by a reason to keep your approach to life flexible. The way you live is largely a reflection of where you’ve been, who you’ve been, and the beliefs you’ve formed. Who am I to create a cookie-cutter hard-and-fast code that makes sense for everyone?

That’s when I realized I’d need to make a sixth rule to introduce these ideas: judge my words, and anyone else’s against your own reason and moral code.

Buddha said, “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.”

The Dalai Lama echoed that sentiment with, “The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual’s own reason and critical analysis.”

Be critical. I invite it. These ideas help me, and they may or may not help you.

With that, I give you five guidelines that have helped me feel happy, fulfilled, and meaningful: Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” -Unknown

Even though I couldn’t possibly care less about oil-based raincoats, I listened to him talk for about 15 minutes one rainy morning last week.

This little guy, with his colorful button-down shirt and funny-looking hat makes my day most mornings. He works at the 7-11 where I get my coffee. And he always seems happy.

At first I thought he was just putting on a good face, making the best of a tough situation. After all, he couldn’t possibly enjoy working at a convenience store, right? Then I realized I was missing the biggest part of his appeal: he does enjoy his job, and that’s why he seems so happy—because he is.

Man that’s awesome. I aim to be like him.

My life doesn’t always look exactly like I want it to. I spend many days writing alone in my living room, when I’d rather work from a beachside office space I share with friends. I drive a beat-up old Toyota, when I’d far prefer something that doesn’t have roll-up windows or a cassette player.

But the world doesn’t change all that much if I have more money, a different space, a better job, or a nicer car. The wrapping paper is different, but the gift inside stays the same.

The way I feel about myself; how much I open myself to new people and experiences; how often I choose to smile simply because it feels good. None of these things depend on my life situation. Colorful shirt guy knows that. I suspect he knows these things, too: Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

This may sound ironic coming from someone who blogs about the bright side of life, but I don’t think “just be positive” is a helpful suggestion. Don’t get me wrong–I believe in focusing on the good things in life. It’s just that I believe positive thinking is most effective when it’s hinged upon reality.

Allow me to explain.

It occurred to me one day that much of my unhappiness stemmed from the way I interpreted things I saw. It wasn’t just that I thought negatively; I actually saw negatively.

If a man held a door open for me, I clutched my purse; he was probably trying to steal it. If a friend forgot to congratulate me on a promotion, she was jealous and wanted me to fail. If a coworker offered to help me with something, she wanted to ride on my coattails.

I believed people were basically selfish and bad, and as a result, I saw proof everywhere.

One day I decided the problem was with me, not them. It wasn’t that I was seeing bad things; it was that I was seeking them. So I started thinking and seeing positively. The world was a beautiful place full of wonderful people who always meant well–people who would never hurt me.

Except that isn’t true either. Just because the world isn’t black that doesn’t mean it’s white.

The truth is the glass is both half-empty and half-full. The quickest path to feeling good involves understanding where the missing liquid went and opening your heart to fill it. Finding compassion for the worst in human behavior, and working to inspire the best.

If you’d like to change the way you interpret the world in front of you to understand negativity and inspire positivity, I recommend the following steps: Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Research indicates lottery winners are no happier than people who didn’t win, and in many cases, become depressed in the years following their win.

Scientists have surmised that we all have a baseline level of happiness—a range of joy we’ll stay within regardless of our external circumstances. The greatest factor in determining this joy is our mental attitude.

If you’d like to alter your baseline, instead of trying to change your circumstances, change the way you interpret them.

It sounds much easier said than done because it is. If you’ve always seen the glass as half-empty, you likely won’t transform into a positive thinker overnight. But you can take one simple step toward more positive thinking.

Pay special attention today to the way you react to things that happen to you. Acknowledge negative situations, and then realize you don’t have to respond negatively. You may even be able to see it as a blessing in disguise. Click Here to Read More…

by Aaron Mandelbaum

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

I work in social media. This means I manage six Twitter accounts, multiple Facebook pages, profiles on MySpace, Hi5, MyYearbook, Sodahead, and YouTube, and a constant stream of emails. I rarely get phone calls but can check most of these accounts and all emails through my phone. My day consists of managing inputs on a minute-by-minute basis.

After working for about six hours straight today I left the house to pick up some ingredients for dinner. The plan was to treat my mind and body to a healthy meal and some well deserved R&R.

So, grab the keys, grab the wallet, shut the lights, call the elevator, lock the door, recite the grocery list in my head a few times. The elevator closes and I realize I don’t have my phone! PANIC. These thoughts flood my mind: What if someone calls? What if I get an email? What if I see something amazing that I need a picture of and have to tweet it?

I take a deep breath, close my eyes and I center myself. The realization hits me that time for myself is often not fully for myself. I’m constantly tied to input. So I walk to the store and absorb the faces and sounds of Brooklyn along the way. It’s similar to driving with the radio off. Typically I can browse the store, sniff the veggies, and assemble a menu while being present to the experience but today I recognize there is a piece of me always ready to receive and respond to a beeping or vibrating pocket. Click Here to Read More…