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Category “love & relationships”

Sending Love

Why Self-Love Is The Key To Finding True Love

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman

The moon was shining brightly that balmy summer’s night in the park. He’d arranged a meeting to “sort things out.” Little did he know I’d finally built the courage to walk away. And that’s exactly what I did.

I was devastated but mostly relieved.… Read More

All We Need Is Love

Life Lessons on What Really Matters from a Dying Man

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

You know how you can remember exactly when you found out that Michael Jackson died? I think it’s called flashbulb memory. It’s when something traumatic happens and because of that, you remember everything else that was occurring at the time…I was on a bus in Santorini after watching an amazing sunset in Oia.… Read More

Smiling

One Simple Thing Anyone Can Do to Have a Better Day

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

Today as I walked down a trendy suburban street heading to an appointment, my phone rang. I was not having the best of days.

I was walking past chic cafes and designer shops displaying tempting wares.… Read More

Friends

5 Ways to Find Your People (The Ones Who Really Get You)

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown

For probably over thirty years—since I was old enough to know I needed them—I’ve been looking for my people.

You know the ones—the people who get you, somehow; who are on the same wavelength.… Read More

Loneliness

8 Solutions for Loneliness That Don’t Require a Romantic Relationship

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” ~Joseph F. Newton

The epiphany has finally occurred. Why on earth has it taken so long? I ask myself this as I look back on the last nine years I have spent trying to cover up the real issue. Loneliness.

After getting married at twenty and then leaving nineteen years later, it took another two years before I met another man that I fell in love with almost instantly. … Read More

Puppet

Stop Over-Depending on Others: Cut the Puppet Strings and Be Real

“Some people think it’s holding tight that makes one strong, but sometimes, it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

I got a week off of work recently to spend with myself, which is always a wonderfully centering experience for me. I’m an introvert, so I love my alone time. But as I took the time to introspect about some relationships in my life, my Zen-like vacation mindset disappeared.… Read More

Happy Woman

Addicted to Approval: Reclaim Your Self-Esteem

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

The past few years have been full of hard but necessary lessons I needed to learn about my relationships with others—their limits, boundaries, what healthy relationships are and are not.… Read More

Couple

Transform Your Relationship by Assuming the Best Intentions

“Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.” ~Mildred Barthel

I used to think he was out to get me. The man of my dreams was continually plotting to undermine my happiness in countless ways, all for some mysterious reason I couldn’t comprehend.

Can you give me a ride to work today?Read More

Two Dancing Girls

How to Use Comparisons for Growth Instead of Feeling Inferior

“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~Jack Kornfield

Comparison is something we all struggle with at one point or another. Although it’s something that conventional self-help wisdom urges us to avoid, it’s also a way of gauging where we fit in the world.… Read More

Conversation

The Most Important Thing to Do Before a Difficult Conversation

“You are your choices.” ~Seneca

After four years of radio silence, a former flame appeared in my inbox.

We set up a time to talk later that week. And when the day came, right on time, he called.

We talked. I had many questions. He explained the best he could. The conversation eased into Taoism and Twitter.… Read More

Happy

Taking a Chance on Happiness and Knowing We Deserve It

“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Denis Waitley

I like to tell the story of how I changed my mind about myself and what I was worthy of, and how that change almost immediately led me to my husband—or, rather, how it led him to me.… Read More

Arms Outstretched

Why Self-Compassion Is the Key to Being Our Authentic Selves

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I was raised in a family where outward appearance and reputation were important. Standing out was only encouraged if it was within the bounds of what was considered “normal.”

No one ever explicitly told me, “What other people think of you is more important than being your true self,” yet that’s what I learned to believe.… Read More

Holding Hands

Simple Ways to Improve Our Relationships, Starting Today

“My experience is that the teachers we need most are the people we’re living with right now.” ~Byron Katie

I never had a good relationship with my father when I was younger.

Sometimes he expressed his opinions in a rude way, sounding more like an attack than advice.

Many times he apologized after being rude, but I was too cold to forgive or listen.Read More

Couple Holding Hands

Conscious Choices We Need to Make to Attract Healthy Relationships

“When you have a choice to make and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.” ~William James

I have been single for most of my life; sometimes it would seem by choice, and sometimes not. In that time, I have learned and experienced a lot. Some of the things I had thought I wanted changed, and some of the things I thought I didn’t want have become things I do.… Read More

Hiding

Sharing Yourself Without Worrying About Being Accepted

“Happiness is really a deep harmonious inner satisfaction and approval.” ~Francis Wilshire

Acceptance.

This is a word we often toss around, but what does it truly mean? Perhaps the meaning of it ultimately resides within its beholder. I know I have certainly achieved my own understanding of what acceptance means to me and for me, and so far, this definition is ever evolving.… Read More

Boy Sunset

You Have Nothing to Prove: Knowing You’re Good Enough

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou

I sat on a big, cold stone on the beach next to Lake Ontario and watched as the waves lapped upon the shore.

To my right, there were swans and ducks floating on the water. The swans were graceful and beautiful as they glided along the shoreline, and the ducks were being their usual kooky selves.… Read More

Running Toward

Finding the Strength to Leave: Run Toward, Not Away

“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.” ~Guy Finley

It was 11PM on a Monday night and yet again I was chatting online with my friend about the woes of my failing marriage. “I just need a knight in shining armour to take me away from all of this,” I said.… Read More

Flying Free

Why We All Benefit When We Give Each Other the Freedom to Choose

“You must love in such a way that the other person feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I’ve read a lot of articles about loving without attachment and respecting other people’s choices, but it wasn’t until one day that I truly got it. And I will tell you what happened to me that day.… Read More

Healing

How to Heal a Broken Heart and Wounded Spirit

“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” ~Marianne Williamson

My life fell apart on a warm August evening a few years ago. It had been a full summer: family visits, plans for a cross-country move, barbecues, and plenty of travel.… Read More

See the Light

Releasing the Fear That Keeps Us Feeling Unlovable

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learn here.” ~Marianne Williamson

I have suffered for as long as I can remember from a chronic case of lacking in self-love. But that isn’t where this story begins.

It begins in a bright hospital in Cape Town on the hottest day of the year, when I came into the world twenty-eight years ago.… Read More

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