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Category “love & relationships”

One Act of Kindness

How to Change a Life and Make the World a Kinder Place

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~John Holmes

Have you ever been stressed and cranky and having a terrible day when someone was unexpectedly kind to you?

When this happens, it lifts your mood and changes your state of mind. You want to hold on to that feeling of goodwill.… Read More

Me Time

Why It’s Okay to Be Self-Centered Sometimes

“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”  ~Herman Melville

I grew up with a faith that encouraged personal sacrifice for others. Putting myself before others or desiring what they lacked was sinful. So there I was, during my teenage years, trying to be a saint, completely unselfish when thinking or interacting with others.… Read More

Happy and Free

Reclaim Your Power: Stop Waiting for Other People to Make You Happy

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou

My knees hit the pavement, unable to hold me up as I watched my entire life purpose drive away.

I had put my entire heart and soul into that relationship. I had sacrificed everything—my family, my friends, my career, my hobbies.… Read More

Stand Strong

A Message for Anyone Who’s Been Abused and Has Kept It Inside

TRIGGER WARNING: This content deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~Maria Robinson

My uncle molested me from the time I was about four until I was in my early twenties.… Read More

Couple

What All Great Relationships Have in Common

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough

My husband and I have been married for almost ten years.

And before those ten years, we were college sweethearts and had been dating for over six.

When you know someone for that long, someone whom you are deeply and madly in love with, something funny happens:

Your collective thoughts, actions, and words become so tightly intertwined that you walk around believing you are one person.… Read More

Boundary

Setting Emotional Boundaries: Stop Taking on Other People’s Feelings

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman

The longer I stayed on the phone, the more agitated I became. My mother was on the other end, as usual, dumping her emotions on me. I had moved to Los Angeles for graduate school in part to escape all of this—my mother’s unhappiness, my sense of responsibility, the pressure to be perfect.… Read More

Couple

How Relationship Issues Can Lead to Growth (and Why It’s a Daily Process)

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

Relationships are tough. Even more difficult is maintaining healthy boundaries within a relationship.

My head hurts and I feel like I’m going to throw up.… Read More

Happy Woman

Change Your Life by Changing Your Mind About Yourself

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman

I’d had enough.

Once again, I’d sent follow-up emails to guys who had shown interest in my dating site profile. Once again, I’d included full-length photos with those emails, unlike the headshot that went along with my online profile.… Read More

Reflection

Stop Attracting Unhealthy Relationships: 3 Promises to Make to Yourself

“When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself, your world changes for the better.”  ~Unknown

For years, I was entering relationships with men where I saw their potential to be a good match for me, if only they would completely change who they were.

For twelve years, it was the same pattern until one day I finally realized something was broken.… Read More

Helping the Homeless

The Gift of Kindness: A Simple Reason to Give What We Can

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” ~Dalai Lama

“Look at that guy,” I said to my wife.

We were circling the block looking for parking when I spotted him on the sidewalk in front of the bank. For some reason he stood out from the other people in the area.… Read More

Friends Heart

6 Lessons from a Brave Little Girl About Living a Love-Filled Life

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” ~Sophocles

I can’t believe it was almost four years ago that I met *Holly. Her story is still deeply embedded into my heart. Who would have thought that one can learn so much from a ten-year-old child?… Read More

Loneliness

Coping with the Pain of Loneliness After a Break-Up

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together.” ~Unknown

I am at a phase in my life right now where I’m struggling with loneliness.

It means that most of the time, I feel a deep sense of disconnection from the world around me and the people I share it with.… Read More

Love Is in the Air

Why Love Addiction Deprives Us of Love and How to Let It In

“What we seek in love is finding someone with whom we feel safe to reveal our true self.” ~Karen Salmansohn

I wasn’t always in a relationship, but I was almost always in love.

I even had crushes in kindergarten. I hated school because my grade school teacher didn’t like me. Maybe my crushes let me avoid feeling the void, the loneliness, and the sense that I was not of this world, an outcast.… Read More

Pure Joy

How to Fall Back in Love With Your Life

“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

Ever found yourself in a rut, just waiting for some force of the Universe to pull you out?

When ennui sets in, it can be hard to find a way back into the light, but it typically takes a series of events and choices for us to be living a life out of sync with our personal goals, values, and passions.… Read More

Sitting Peacefully

Avoid Getting Caught Up in Drama by Releasing the Need to Be Right

“Concern yourself not with what is right and what is wrong but with what is important.” ~Unknown

I remember quite distinctly the point where my rational self, less invested in the discussion, took a step back and pointed out that I was descending down the path of needing to prove that I was right.… Read More

Sad face

How to Respond to Negative People Without Being Negative

By

“Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” ~Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

A woman with whom I once worked seemed to talk non-stop and loudly, interrupt incessantly, gossip about whomever wasn’t in the room, constantly complain, and live quite happily in martyrdom.

It seemed nothing and no one escaped her negative spin.… Read More

Envy

How to Overcome Envy So It Doesn’t Poison Your Relationships

“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.” ~Marquis de Condorc

I struggled to offer a tight smile to a friend who had achieved a life-changing career break.

Although I was thrilled and excited for my friend, I was sad and disappointed in myself. I, too, had worked hard and waited patiently, but unlike my friend, my work and my wait continued, unacknowledged and unrewarded.… Read More

Love

3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Enter A Relationship

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

Recently, I did something radical; I entered into a relationship with the intention of extending love. I consciously set the goal of peace.

It’s with the intention to experience more peace than ever before that the relationship began, and it’s with that same intention that we decided to end the relationship.… Read More

Man Thinking

How to Move On When You’re Hurt and Waiting for Closure

“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Ah, closure. That feeling of vindication, or a sense of completion—it can be very enticing!

There are times when seeking resolution is really important. If we are having an argument with our partner, settling it can help strengthen our relationship.… Read More

Flower for You

The Power of Kindness: Life-Changing Advice About Creating Happiness

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” ~Winston Churchill

It was a beautiful winter’s day in Sydney. Having returned home after working for two years in Singapore and traveling through Asia, I felt like I owed it to myself to do something I loved.… Read More

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