“When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself, your world changes for the better.” ~Unknown
For years, I was entering relationships with men where I saw their potential to be a good match for me, if only they would completely change who they were.
For twelve years, it was the same pattern until one day I finally realized something was broken.… Read More
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” ~Dalai Lama
“Look at that guy,” I said to my wife.
We were circling the block looking for parking when I spotted him on the sidewalk in front of the bank. For some reason he stood out from the other people in the area.… Read More
“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” ~Sophocles
I can’t believe it was almost four years ago that I met *Holly. Her story is still deeply embedded into my heart. Who would have thought that one can learn so much from a ten-year-old child?… Read More
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together.” ~Unknown
I am at a phase in my life right now where I’m struggling with loneliness.
It means that most of the time, I feel a deep sense of disconnection from the world around me and the people I share it with.… Read More
“What we seek in love is finding someone with whom we feel safe to reveal our true self.” ~Karen Salmansohn
I wasn’t always in a relationship, but I was almost always in love.
I even had crushes in kindergarten. I hated school because my grade school teacher didn’t like me. Maybe my crushes let me avoid feeling the void, the loneliness, and the sense that I was not of this world, an outcast.… Read More
“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda
Ever found yourself in a rut, just waiting for some force of the Universe to pull you out?
When ennui sets in, it can be hard to find a way back into the light, but it typically takes a series of events and choices for us to be living a life out of sync with our personal goals, values, and passions.… Read More
“Concern yourself not with what is right and what is wrong but with what is important.” ~Unknown
I remember quite distinctly the point where my rational self, less invested in the discussion, took a step back and pointed out that I was descending down the path of needing to prove that I was right.… Read More
“Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” ~Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama
A woman with whom I once worked seemed to talk non-stop and loudly, interrupt incessantly, gossip about whomever wasn’t in the room, constantly complain, and live quite happily in martyrdom.
It seemed nothing and no one escaped her negative spin.… Read More
“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.” ~Marquis de Condorc
I struggled to offer a tight smile to a friend who had achieved a life-changing career break.
Although I was thrilled and excited for my friend, I was sad and disappointed in myself. I, too, had worked hard and waited patiently, but unlike my friend, my work and my wait continued, unacknowledged and unrewarded.… Read More
“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom
Recently, I did something radical; I entered into a relationship with the intention of extending love. I consciously set the goal of peace.
It’s with the intention to experience more peace than ever before that the relationship began, and it’s with that same intention that we decided to end the relationship.… Read More
“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Ah, closure. That feeling of vindication, or a sense of completion—it can be very enticing!
There are times when seeking resolution is really important. If we are having an argument with our partner, settling it can help strengthen our relationship.… Read More
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” ~Winston Churchill
It was a beautiful winter’s day in Sydney. Having returned home after working for two years in Singapore and traveling through Asia, I felt like I owed it to myself to do something I loved.… Read More
“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” ~Oscar Wilde
It’s the small, everyday things that can make or break a day for us.
While we celebrate the role models who inspire thousands (in person or on Facebook!), for most of us everyday moments—a stranger jostling us in the shops, a car cutting us up at a light, someone pushing in front of us in line at the post office—can upset us out of all proportion.… Read More
“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts
In another life, not too long ago, I was an actress.
I “fell” into acting when a catalogue showed up on my doorstep for UCLA Extension summer classes, and in my boredom I started flipping through it to see what was on offer.… Read More
“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
My grandmother is nearing the end. She’s had a good life, a family, a loving husband, dancing and singing, growing things, running a business.
There are some skeletons in the closet though; her early life had some very heavy experiences that made her afraid and may have held her back.… Read More
“Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses towards growth.” ~Celestine Chua
Settling feels awful. Take it from me—for the past few months I’ve been holding the Scepter of Settling in both my personal life and my business.
And it hasn’t felt good.
The other morning, as I sat waiting in LaGuardia Airport to board a plane for a three-day intensive business retreat in North Carolina, I had this sudden, radical a-ha!… Read More
“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene
Sometimes I am really terrible to myself and relentlessly compare myself to other people, no matter how many times I read or hear about how good enough or lovable I am.
On an almost daily basis, I meticulously look for evidence that I am a nobody, that I don’t deserve to be loved, or that I’m not living up to my full potential.… Read More
“Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.” ~Buddha
I used to be the queen of putting my foot in my mouth. I’d say the first thing that came into my head without thinking.
My intentions were always good and I’d never deliberately offend or hurt anyone, but it landed me in trouble more than once.… Read More
“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha
I once attended a lecture given by a world-renowned expert on post-traumatic stress disorder. The lecture made two points that I have never forgotten. I call them “brain tricks.”
1. Given a choice, our primitive brain will naturally select for the negative.… Read More
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
For a long time I joked that if I had a time machine, I would go back to 1989 and give my sixteen-year-old self a swift butt kicking. But then a few months ago, on my fortieth birthday, a friend posted a picture of me at sixteen on Facebook.… Read More