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by Cat Li Stevenson

“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron

This past year has been one of tremendous self-discovery. One day, I suddenly realized after 9 years of a very straight finance paved path that I no longer wanted to be a corporate banker.

Instead, I wanted to wake up each morning with a bigger purpose—a brand of who I was, and what I stood for outside of this corporate lifestyle.

Since that day, I seemed to be on a tiresome pursuit in finding my story. I even seriously debated moving out of the country to build character and expand my journey.

While my own story is still one that remains on the preface page, I have realized in several months of contemplation that discovering our personal novel is not formed by rushing the process or constant over analyzing.

It is, instead, a compilation of daily experiences, perspective, and the wisdom we receive from these that shapes our meaning.

We all have a truly unique story, but we don’t have to be in a hurry to write it or create it. When we start living life, instead of always trying to figure it out, our story—our meaning, our purpose—will present itself in amazing ways.

Here are five activities I have found helpful in discovering my world:

1. Share three “Grateful Statements” a Day

It’s remarkable how your day and life can become instantly transformed by realizing the gifts and abundance that exist all around you right here, right now.

Drop a line through text, email or a good old-fashioned phone call with a sister, friend, boyfriend, or anyone else close to you about something you’re grateful for.

It can be a simple grateful—how you have AC in your car in the sweltering heat, for example. A grateful approach will awaken you to see the world that exists in front of you today; leading to happier, brighter, more meaningful days.

2. Explore Contrast Exercises

If you are a night person like I am, you get a surge of energy at 11PM and manage to find something— anything—to keep you occupied way past your bedtime.

I recently (and not easily) began going to bed by 10PM. This way, I  could get up in the morning for a run or a spin class, followed by a morning meditation before I started on my commute.

I am in awe at how the day looks and feels different by waking up at a new hour, from the sunrise to the increased productivity level I have by mid-morning.

If you are a morning person, try staying up until the midnight hour and notice the difference around you. Or if you enjoy taking walks at night as part of your workout regiment, what happens if you try out a new, hip-hop class at your gym instead?

When exploring other parts of your day that you’re not aware of by making small adjustments, a whole new discovery and perspective may surface.

3. Commit to 30 Days of Excellence

This year my husband and I have made a fun activity of practicing 30 days of excellence. We’ve done everything from “30 days of going to bed on time” to “30 days of five-minute, daily meditation” to “30 days of being mindful about our attitude and what we share.”

Committing to 30 days of excellence to form a habit can transcend and improve your world. It will give you the energy and inspiration to take on the next step in your journey of discovery.

4. Write an “I want…” List

There are tons of articles and books out there about knowing what it is you want to do with your life. I am here to repeat this important exercise: Write “I want…” at the top of a piece of paper or your journal and start writing without pausing to think.

Keep this list at your bedside and revisit it daily. By tuning into knowing exactly what it is you want, you will be able to identify it when you see it, without it passing by without notice.

5. Create a Board of Inspiration

I have a fascination with cards. Ever since I was a little girl, I would make cards from scratch for every occasion and everyone around me.

We constantly had visitors and family members visit from Taiwan when I was younger. I’d always show up at the airport with a personalized card welcoming the guest to town.

Now, 20 plus years later, I still love cards. Instead of creating them, I collect them. I enjoy finding meaningful messages and quotes in card shops. Recently, I purchased a blank canvas where I’ve pasted each of those cards in a square and hung it up in a place in my home office. I revisit them every day to stay inspired.

What inspires you? Is it a photo of a place you once visited? A picture from a travel magazine you want to vacation to? Or perhaps a CD cover from your favorite artist? Create a board of inspiration, visit it daily, and let it speak to you.

Make yourself inspired to continually discover your world. Your world unfolds in the process.

by Harriet Cabelly

“Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown

My daughter Nava suffered a medical crisis and was hospitalized for one year.  She was in a drug-induced paralyzed coma on a ventilator for three months, teetering on the seesaw of life and death; however, much closer to the death side.

Miraculously surviving, she moved on to a rehab hospital for the next nine months where she had to relearn each and every body and motor function.  Two miracles occurred: one, she survived; and two, she had a complete recovery, with her life back as before.

Because I have my daughter back, whole and intact, I feel like I’ve been given a second lease on life.

I live my life with zest, fervor and a sense of urgency.  There’s nothing like bearing witness to the fragility of life to make one live better.

Despite the pain, hardship, adversity and challenges that life dishes out, we have to find and create the good.

1.  Find ways to do.

It’s always easier to come up with ways not to do.  They’re called excuses.  Create a to-do mind-set and the walls will start tumbling down.

We wanted to go see the Macy’s fireworks on July 4th.  It would’ve been so easy to say no and stay home and watch it on TV.  It required driving into the city, taking a train, walking a whole lot and then taking a train or ferry back at midnight  and driving back home from the city.

That’s a lot of traveling for a half hour of fireworks.  But we decided to make a night’s adventure out of it.  We had dinner in the city (after finding a great parking spot).  Then we took the Path train into New Jersey and felt like total tourists, as we had never taken it before.

We met up with a walking group and walked three miles along the Hudson till we got to our viewing spot.  We had a great view of the fireworks—right in front of one of the barges from which the fireworks were set off.  It was as if it was coming right at us.

We then made our way, along with the crowds, to a trolley type of train, at which point the train people said we can all get on for free so everyone can get home.  How often does that happen?

We decided to take the ferry back to NYC.  Why take the train when we could take a beautiful ferry ride late at night and see the city lit up while the water breeze cooled us off from the hot humid day?  Again, a first for us—we’ve never taken a ferry into the dark waters of the Hudson.

A brisk walk, along with hoards of people and cops, in the streets of Manhattan, brought us back to our car.  What a fabulous night out on the town!!  And much of it was in the journey.

2. Allow for fun and silliness.  It’s freeing.

My husband and I did a Patch Adams clowning trip to Italy.  The only requirement was to wear a costume and be silly.  This certainly challenged my shy side as I stretched myself to pull people in to dance in a Sicilian square.

The smiles on people’s faces in the hospitals, hospices, orphanages and other such places as we blew bubbles, spoke to them, and handed out Yankees caps was worth a million.  No, it’s not my new career, but it did open me up more to myself and others.

3. Seek out opportunities to do good; don’t wait to be asked.  It feels good to extend yourself.

I must admit my mother was my main teacher of this one.  But I only really started recognizing it and acting upon it after my daughter’s illness.  I looked and continue to seek out meaningful acts, both big and small.

From talking to a homeless person about his life while breaking bread to fostering a yellow lab that went on to become a service dog to a boy with cerebral palsy,  the feeling is exuberant.

4. There’s always time for work. Make time for play—and play hard.

We can’t wait to have time for play.  We have to build it in.  If I know I have a hectic day of work ahead of me, I will set aside even a half hour for something playful–a walk at night, or something else that brings me joy and pleasure.

If I have to take my daughter to one of her activities, I turn my waiting time into fun time.  Just last week, we took her into the city for a social event. Instead of groaning about schlepping into the city, we grabbed a 30 minute kayak ride on the Hudson River (Free kayaking from the parks department!)

It’s all in what you make of it.  Make it good.

5.  Pursue interests and passions. It keeps you feeling excited and alive.

Take that class you always wanted to take.  Build it into your life.  It’s about priorities.  Ballroom dancing has been on my “bucket list” for many years.  I don’t wait anymore and I don’t put things off.  So I found a class right in my own backyard.

I wanted to take a mindfulness course which I found in the city.  That became part of my schedule for eight weeks.  I made my travels into the city after work a leisure activity.

Go for it; the time is now.

If you’d like to submit a post to the site, read the submission guidelines and send your post to Lori at email @ tinybuddha.com.

by Sonya Derian

“After winter comes the summer. After night comes the dawn. And after every storm, there comes clear, open skies.” ~Samuel Rutherford

I was talking to someone this week about his feeling that things weren’t happening fast enough. That with all he was doing, intending and putting out there, that more should be happening—and faster.

My question to him was, “Really? Should things really be happening faster? Or are you exactly where you’re supposed to be?”

There is a tendency, sometimes, to think we have it all figured out. When it should happen, how it should happen, who it should happen with—and before it’s “too late.”

We are powerful creators in life, but the truth is, we’re not in this alone. There are other forces at play, and for the most part, to our benefit.

Have you ever had something occur in your life that you had wished for years earlier, only to realize that now was the perfect timing? That in fact, you wouldn’t have been ready for it any earlier? That in retrospect, everything was leading up to the perfect moment of this unfolding?

We want to feel in charge of our lives. It makes us feel safe knowing that we have control. And to some extent, we have complete control in dictating our desires, in stating our ambitions, and in following our well laid plans.

But sometimes life has a way of throwing us curve balls. There is a delay in an outcome we are hoping to produce, or the timing doesn’t work out as we planned. We’re not where we think we should be, financially, socially, professionally, creatively, or romantically.

And yet even in this, there is perfection.

In other words, for those of you who think your time has passed, or it’s too late, or there is not enough time, I ask you: How do you know this? How do you know that in this moment, right now, you are not exactly where you are supposed to be?

That things are not working out for you, despite appearances?

I had a teacher who used to pose the question: “If everything is perfect exactly as it is, what is it that you are not seeing?”

In other words, what are you gaining from this situation that is perfect for your unfolding, right now; and how is this preparing you for the thing you desire?

We are always afraid our ship is not going to come in, or if it does, it did already and left without us. Our ship may come and go, but there will be another one and another one and another one. And another one.

We are coming into our own in the timing we need. For each of us it will be different, but for each of us, it will also be perfect.

Inspirational leader Mary Morrissey talks about Chinese Bamboo and how it is a very slow-growing and fragile plant. She says that if the bamboo is cared for, watched over and nurtured, in one year it grows two inches, in the next year it grows two inches, in the next year it grows two inches, in the next year it grows two inches, and then in the fifth year, it grows 80 feet!

This is how it is with our development. We intend. We make incremental changes. We show up for our success in whatever way we can. Over time, everything comes to fruition, harmonizing all aspects in such a creative way that if we were to look back on it, we would marvel at the perfection of it all.

We would know that we were making strides all along.

Trust in the perfection of your life and let yourself be fully where you are in the moment. Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Know that what you have to look forward to is greater than what you are leaving behind.

And trust that you will “arrive” in time and on time, not a minute sooner.

by Celestine Chua

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” ~Chinese Proverb

When I was in junior college, I wasn’t the best student. I skipped classes, didn’t do my assignments, and barely studied for my tests. Needless to say, I flunked those exams.

After a few months, I realized I didn’t want to continue on like this. If I wanted to make the most out of my life, I had to first be responsible for my studies.

So I buckled down and set out to achieve the best results. It wasn’t easy—and I’m not talking about the studying part. There was resistance all around me. First, my schoolmates weren’t the most positive people in the world.

My college was one of the poorer performing schools then. Many students weren’t happy studying there as it wasn’t their first choice. They often degraded themselves, saying “we’re doomed for failure.”

If that wasn’t enough, my teachers were discouraging, too because many were disgruntled about working there. They kept comparing us with the students from schools they taught in before—the better schools—saying we’d never get anywhere.

I decided to ignore the negativity and spend my energy working on my goals.

At the end of college, I was the top student in my class and won the Most Improved Student Award by the school. I would later enter one of the best Business Schools in Asia, be a Dean’s Lister in all 3 years of my study, and graduate as the top student in my specialization.

If you have aspirations, you’ve dealt with resistance, too, and will deal with more in the future. Here are 6 personal principles to deal with external resistance and excel in life:

1. The bigger the resistance, the greater your potential.

Newton’s Third Law of Motion states for every force, there is an equal, opposing force. It’s the same here—no big dreams ever come true without an equivalent form of resistance. In fact, the bigger the resistance, the greater your potential on the other side.

The biggest achievers in the world got to where they are today only after overcoming endless resistance.

Whenever I face a roadblock, it tells me this is something worth going for. The more roadblocks there are the better. It just makes the end result even sweeter when I overcome these blocks and achieve my goals.

2. Obstacles are there to prevent you from getting to the other side ~Randy Pausch

In Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture, he talked about how obstacles exist to stop you from getting to the other side. The other side is where your goals and dreams are. Just because you face obstacles doesn’t mean your goals aren’t feasible. It just means you need to tackle these obstacles first to get there.

The obstacles are only a test to weed out people who don’t want their goals enough, and guess what—that’s not you. You are better than that.

Back when I faced resistances, I never once thought my goals were impossible. I knew this was just temporary and it was a matter of time before I achieve my goals. Likewise, whatever resistance you experience is just short-term.

3. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals. ~Sydney Smith

Are you spending more time staring at your obstacles? Or do you have your eyes locked on your dreams? The more you spend time thinking about your obstacles, the more you will feel overwhelmed and negative.

Your thoughts are like the seeds in your mind. The kind of thoughts you have will bear fruits of the same nature. Negative thoughts will give you negative fruits, whereas positive thoughts will give you positive fruits. Do you have more negative or positive seeds?

Spend more time thinking about your goals, how they inspire you, why you want them and what they mean to you. These will give you the fuel to take action.

When I pursue my goals, I don’t think about how unfair the world is, why I am facing this, or how scary an obstacle is. These are all disempowering thoughts. I focus on why I want to do something and what it means to me. These empower me and spur me on to take action.

4. Look at the source of the comments before you consider them.

It’s easy to let ourselves be affected by other people’s comments. While you should be open to feedback, you should also factor in where they are coming from.

Who is the person commenting? Is this person’s life the kind of life you aspire to lead? If the commenter isn’t doing so well in the area he is advising on, maybe you should discount what he says to you.

For example, back in school, one of my teachers advised us to “settle” and stop aiming high because we would be setting ourselves up for failure. However, when I looked at her life, she was in her 50s, had been working in the same job for over decades (which was fine, except that she didn’t seem passionate about her work), unmotivated, and negative as a person.

This wasn’t the life I wanted to lead for myself, and hence I decided not to heed what she said. I’m glad I didn’t because it worked out extremely well for me.

5. You don’t have to please everyone. Trying to do so only makes you miserable.

It’s in our inner nature to be inclusive and make everyone happy. However, it’s not possible to please everyone and it’s not worth it to try.

All of us are diverse with our own opinions, beliefs and values, and trying to conform only results in you compromising on your beliefs. Don’t be afraid to disagree where you need to and stand up for yourself. It’s all about learning how to deal with these critical people.

If you face people who are overly resistant to your dreams, consider reducing contact with them and spending more time with the people who support you. Your time is precious; spend it with people who elevate you, not people who pull you down.

6. First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win. ~Mahatma Gandhi

After years of pursuing my goals and dreams, I realized one thing: people resist because they are afraid.

When they hear about your goals and they object, it’s because they’re afraid of who you are and what you can become. More than that, they’re afraid that you might actually be right and they have been undermining their own potential all along.

To quote Marianne Williamson, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

Don’t take resistances personally. People who ignore you, laugh at you, or even fight you do so because they are scared deep down inside. Take your stance and go for what you believe in. Fight for what you want. Go all out in your pursuits.

As long as you keep at it, it’s a matter of time before you achieve what you set out to do. I did that, and I continue to do so every day. You can never go wrong as long as you do what you love to do and set out to live your best life.

by Shelly Iyabode

“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

The world has given us many outstanding people.

Although we possess our own unique talents, we look to leaders and mentors as models of action and success. They represent unlocked potential, perseverance and shining lights for us to follow.

Since all paths are unique, we can’t follow exactly where others have been, but we can learn from their examples of confidence and dedication. It’s the difference between saying, “I want to be like Oprah Winfrey” or saying, “I want to be outstanding in my own right, like Oprah Winfrey.”

There are some, like Oprah, who can step out and shine despite hardship and extraordinary challenges. But most people who struggle with self-doubt, fear or harsh circumstances remain stagnant.

It’s not enough to have the dream. It has to be accompanied with a strong belief in your own potential and a spirit driven to meet it.

A crucial step toward being your own version of outstanding is to identify your goals. Be realistic in this process. These goals should be ones you believe you can actually achieve. Goals do not guarantee success but they can create a focal point to form your own personal light or beacon.

Goals are the guides that lead you from where we are to where you aspire to be. Once you’ve identified your goals, you can then begin the task of preparing yourself for the journey.

Believe in yourself—easy to say, but not always easy to do.

This may well be the biggest obstacle on the course to impressing and inspiring yourself. Your socio-economic, personal and geographic challenges matters some, but truly, believing in yourself is the biggest step. Belief is a free resource that is available to everyone. It cannot be bought or sold, but it can indeed be learned, if necessary.

Whether a goal is to simply to work out tomorrow morning or to become president of your neighborhood association Board of Directors, believing you can actually do it is an engine that is powered by only you.

The path to personal greatness—whatever that means to you—is much more valuable if you use every step along the way as practice.

When you wake up tomorrow, wake up in outstanding fashion. When you prepare your clothes for the day, choose something fabulous to wear. Greet people throughout your day in a beautiful way.

Eat wonderful meals. Listen to beautiful music. Compliment those you know and even those you don’t on something you admire about them. Emanate the energy you want to attract.

Eventually, that energy will return to you forming a pattern. If your confidence was running on low before, it will soon begin to fill and radiate within you.

Too euphoric? Well, here’s the other shoe falling.

You will be tested. There will be moments (and days) when being buoyant just doesn’t fit into the plan. Don’t despair. Everyone deals with these moments. Accept them as opportunities to triumph and not to wallow in insecurities. It’s the only productive way to deal with this inevitability.

Use this down time for research or some other lightweight exercise that contributes to your goal. Keep it in sight at all times.

At the same time, don’t trick yourself into thinking that success will come if you do nothing. Consistency is crucial—and luckily, we are all blessed with the gift of determination. All behaviors and actions, no matter the justification, come with a sense of determination. Do something courageous!

Create messages and mantras that inspire you. Surround yourself with experiences and individuals who are inspired, as well. Create the support you need and build your legacy with purpose.

Only you can create and follow the path that makes you feel passionate, meaningful, and happy.

by Alexis Montgomery

“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.” ~Unknown

In college, you had your whole life planned out.

You’d earn your degree in psychology, go on to a master’s program, and in no time, you’d be running your own private practice—earning a tidy living while helping others to become healthy, functioning individuals.

Or maybe you thought a degree in filmmaking would springboard you to fame as the next big documentarian, tackling the cause of the little man to overwhelming acclaim.

Whatever your big dreams in college, you’ve no doubt realized that the world presents some limitations when it comes to reaching them.  So how do you deal with life in the real world while continuing to work toward your dreams?

1. Have a plan.

This is easier said than done, but if you want to realize your career goals, you really need to lay out a step-by-step plan of action.

Don’t know how to get into the music biz?  Start by taking an internship and work your way up.  Interested in running your own green technology company?  See what’s already out there and then pick up some literature about finding your niche and forming a business plan.  Talk to a loan officer at your bank to find out the steps necessary to attain a business loan.

There are many paths to reach your goals, but you may have to work to find them.

2. Be flexible.

Even a good plan may not get you where you want to go.  Or once you get there, you might decide it’s not what you wanted after all.  It’s okay.  Apparently, the happiest people change their career path at least five times in their adult life.

Let’s face it, even a fun and fulfilling occupation can get repetitive.  And more likely than not, you have a wide variety of talents and interests that will continue to expand throughout your adult life.  Don’t be afraid to explore them.  You never know which one could become your next option for employment.

3. Listen to the experts.

You don’t know everything and neither does anyone else, but there are certainly people who have more knowledge and experience than you.  Finding the right person to mentor you on your career path can make a big difference in how well you perform and how fast you progress.

It used to be that young people would apprentice to learn their trade.  While that is rarely done today, you can often find people in your chosen profession who have been around for awhile and would be happy to teach you the tricks of the trade. Don’t let a golden opportunity pass you by.

4. Learn to budget.

If you haven’t yet learned to set a budget for yourself, there’s no time like the present! You’ll be far better equipped to pursue your dreams if you aren’t stressed and overwhelmed by bills.  You can talk to a financial planner, but why not start saving now by looking online for some budgeting tips (for free)?

There are all kinds of websites that offer comprehensive budget plans, but the basics include calculating what you earn and comparing it to what you spend.  This seems pretty basic, but there are a lot of people who get their paycheck only to watch every last penny go to bills.  A smart budget will help you save for the future.

5. Don’t fall prey to the money trap.

It’s easy to get stuck in a job that pays the bills.  You get comfortable in your cubicle and suddenly it seems like too much work to go back to school for your master’s degree.  And why struggle to launch your art career when web design affords you a nice apartment and spending cash?

All of us have been there, but it won’t be long before you become supremely dissatisfied with your day job if it isn’t where your heart is.  By all means, earn a stable living, but don’t let your loftier goals fall by the wayside.  Complacency will get you nowhere near achieving your ambitions.

6. Don’t let the man get you down.

There are plenty of people out there who will tell you your goals are worthless or unattainable.  Adults are always finding ways to say no.  So look to your inner child, who knows that anything is possible, for inspiration.

With perseverance and a plan, you can reach your goals—don’t let anyone tell you different.  Block out the negativity and focus on what you can reasonably do to keep yourself on track.  If all else fails, think of how silly those nay-sayers will feel when you accept your Grammy award.

7. Find balance.

Work isn’t everything!  Sure, you have to pay your dues when you’re the new kid on the block, but don’t make it a habit.  All work and no play is a recipe for burnout, so make sure you draw a line when it comes to overtime and extra work.

If you’re lucky, you’re career will involve an activity that allows you to come home at night with a sense of satisfaction. But honestly, that won’t always be the case.

Ultimately, you work to ensure financial stability.  But if you don’t leave yourself any time to enjoy the fruits of your labor, what’s the point?

Becoming an adult is not some magical transformation that happens overnight.  You don’t just wake up one day with a house, a wife, 2.5 kids, and gainful employment.

Part of being responsible for yourself is taking control of your life rather than letting others dictate your path. Don’t be afraid to stick to your guns.  Be proactive, know your options, and find a way to fit in some fun for yourself.  Only you can make your goals materialize—so get started!

Lori’s Shout Out: Today is the launch day for You Cannot Be Serious: and 32 Other Rules that Sustain a (Mostly Balanced) Mom! Look for my review in upcoming weeks, or buy today on Amazon to receive countless bonus gifts.

by Lori Deschene

“Begin at once to live and count each separate day as a separate life.” ~Seneca

At times, it’s seemed as though life contains an endless supply of days.

When I was younger, I thought this for sure. It didn’t matter how long I held a grudge, or how long I waited to do something I wanted—there would be an unlimited pool of other opportunities. At least that’s what I thought back then.

Maybe it’s a rite of passage from childhood to adulthood: the moment when you realize life happens now, and that’s all you’re guaranteed. It doesn’t really hit you when you merely know it intellectually, like you know your ABCs, state capitals, and other concrete facts.

It hits you when somehow you feel it. Your health declines. You lose someone you love. A tragedy rocks your world. It isn’t until you realize that all life fades that you consider now a commodity and a scarce one at that.

But maybe that’s irrelevant. Maybe living a meaningful, passionate life has nothing to do with its length and everything to do with its width.

With this in mind, I recently asked Tiny Buddha’s Facebook friends, “How do you live life to the fullest?” I was inspired by what they had to say, so I’ve used them to create this list:

1. Live in the moment. Forget the past and don’t concern yourself with the future. (Tanner Christensen)

2. Fully embrace the now, no matter what the situation. (Patrick Flynn)

3. Do the things you love. (Diego Felipe Villa Serna)

4. Learn to forgive and embrace unconditional love. (Ann Glasgow)

5. Live every day as if it’s your last, embracing each experience as if it’s your first. (Jennifer Fertado)

6. Believe in “live and let live.” (Satyendra Pandey)

7. Use quiet reflection, honesty, and laughter. (Erin Rogers Kronman)

8. Be other-centered. (Tricia Mc)

9. Find calm in making art. (Z.r. Hill)

10. Focus on today and how you can do your best to live it to the fullest.  (Amelia Krump)

11. Participate in life instead of just watching it pass you by. (Lindsey Wonderson)

12. Stay healthy, eat right and most importantly, be kind to all. (Tho Nguyen)

13. Pray, forgive yourself, appreciate others, listen to your gut, do things you enjoy, and remind yourself that we are all loved and connected. (Sandra Lumb)

14. Don’t sweat the small stuff. (Allison Gillam)

15. Question everything, keep it simple, and help whenever and however you can. (Lynda Corrigan Sutherland)

16. Try to enjoy every minute of every day. (Maria Ahlin)

17. Appreciate life’s every second. (Anna-Karin Boyaciyan-Demirciyan)

18. Step through new doors. The majority of the time there’s something fantastic on the other side. (Terri Mindock)

19. Remember that all is a gift, but the most precious of all gifts is life and love. (Debbie Teeuwen)

20. Keep your spirit free, be flexible, let go. (Leslie Brown)

21. “Do one thing every day that scares you.” -Baz Luhrmann (Adam Raffel)

22. Don’t attach to outcomes. (Wp Ho)

23. Spend as much time with a two year old as possible. (Jackie Freeman)

24. Enjoy each and every moment of life. Every day is a new challenge and opportunity to discover something new. (Chirag Tripathi)

25. Budget travel. It is always an adventure! You get to enjoy what fate has to offer with limited means. (Ruby Baltazar)

26. Be honestly thankful for every breath you take. (Jonathan Carey)

27. Just be. (Catherine Halvorsson)

28. “Trust yourself. Trust your own strengths.” ~Gaundalf the grey (Jonathan David Evan Fulton)

29. Pause momentarily before everything you do so that you notice everything you should or could notice. (Scott Hutchinson)

30. Follow your hopes and not your fears. (Jody Bower)

What have you done today to live life to the fullest?

by Aaron Jacobsen & Michelle Santos

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it” ~Charles Swindoll

Unemployment is up almost 10 percent and job opportunities are not necessarily speeding to catch up. It’s not always easy to stay positive when you’re dealing with uncertainty, particularly if you fell out of a comfortable situation and now have to adapt.

But if you’re willing to see the experience as a challenge, and possibly even an opportunity, you can find a sense of peace and fulfillment—not just once you find work, but while you’re in the process of looking. It’s not just cliché advice that sounds good on paper. It’s actually possible. Here’s how.

If You Are Out of Work

1. Don’t isolate.

Without work some people become hermits. Most jobs involve some sort of social interaction be it with co-workers or customers. For many people, the workday is also the most frequent opportunity for social interaction. Spending some time alone can be healthy; just make sure you don’t take overdo it.

A lot of people feel ashamed or embarrassed about being unemployed, and as a result avoid social situations. As tempting as it may be to dodge friends and family, it can become a dangerous habit. You need support to make it through this transition with minimal stress and anxiety.

Aside from that, interactions allow you an opportunity to put your worries aside and have fun. You’re dealing with enough stress—don’t you deserve a break?

2. Remember that social connections are your biggest resource.

Another reason to stay social and engaged is that it’s one of the best ways to find your next job. When you’re struggling, the intimate seclusion found searching job lists and sending out endless resumes is enticing. While there’s nothing wrong with responding to job ads, it’s not nearly as effective as using your social network to find opportunities. It’s like they say: sometimes it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

3. Maintain a positive outlook.

Negativity is an easy habit because it creates the illusion of relieving frustration, but it actually just breeds more. And unfortunately, it doesn’t get you anywhere good.

Positivity—especially when things are tough—may not be your first reaction. No worries about the future with a smile. But if you try to maintain a positive outlook, you will keep yourself open to new things. If you’re convinced there aren’t any opportunities available, you won’t even try to find one—meaning you definitely won’t get one.

4. Stay open to possibilities.

It’s ideal to think that life conforms to your plans. But it doesn’t. If it did, you wouldn’t be unemployed to begin with. Once you free yourself from a rigid path you think you should be on, you will open yourself to the new opportunities and roads that will present themselves. When this happens, be ready and willing to say yes.

It may mean taking a short-term contract job, or a lower level position in a new field. When your life path hits a roadblock you need consider the alternate routes available.

5. Take advantage of the extra time.

It’s often said that looking for work is a full-time job. That certainly can be true, but it’s a full-time job with a lot of flexibility. When you take away things like a commute, business trips, conferences and everything else that comes with a 9 to 5 job, there’s a lot of extra time in the day.

It’s a good idea to maintain as much of your normal routine as possible. If you exercise three days during the week, make sure you keep doing that. If you wanted to work out five days but never had the time, well, now you do!

This is your time to focus on yourself—what you enjoy, what makes you feel the most fulfilled. You don’t need to spend every waking hour stressing about finding work. If you put too much emphasis on where you need to be, you may find it’s self-defeating. Just because looking for work can be a full-time job, that doesn’t mean you need to walk around with full-time pressure.

If you didn’t lose your job, odds are you know someone who did. Here’s how you can help.

15 Simple Way to Support Someone Who Lost Their Job

1. Check in regularly, especially if you are close to them. Be their buoy, so they don’t lose sight of the things in life they can trust.

2. Listen. Really listen—without waiting to talk.

3. Invite them to do free stuff. Even if they have money in the bank, with less or no money coming in, it will be easier for them to commit to free or cheap activities.

4. Exercise with them, or encourage them to do activities you know they enjoy. It’s easier to stay upbeat when you feel good physically (those endorphins help!)

5. Help them get sunshine. A healthy dose of sunlight can improve your mood and help you get better sleep. Boost your friend’s spirits by helping them get out of the house for a walk when the sun shines.

6. Understand that their life is different for now. It can be strange to have so much time and uncertainty, particularly if they had a lot of structure in their day previously.

7. Acknowledge their feelings. They may or may not talk about them, but they feel something no matter what. If they don’t open up, you can share a story about a time in your life when you felt uncertain.

8. Laugh. Humor helps everyone cope. Help them take things less seriously. They’re unemployed, not comatose. There’s still a lot to enjoy!

9. Make a list of things you value in them, maybe things an employer would appreciate, and give it to them.

10. Offer to review/edit/spruce up their resume.

11. Send them job posts that you think match their skill set

12. Offer to be a reference. You obviously know them well and like them—your recommendation may be valuable.

13. Ask them what they really want to do, what they would do if they money wasn’t an issue. Maybe they’re considering taking this break to make a career change. That’s scary stuff, meaning they’ll need lots of encouragement.

14. Don’t complain about your job. Okay, if you must, try to keep it to a minimum. No matter how difficult your boss is, you can at least say you have a boss. (Which is exactly what your friend will think).

15. Check in with their family to see how they’re handling the change. Anyone who depends on your friend will be affected in some way. What better way to be a friend, than to remind them you’re there for support—for anyone who needs it.

People often think of unemployment as floating adrift somewhere between A and B; and then they try their hardest to get to B so they can be happy again. Get a consistent paycheck, settle in, and feel safe, secure, and certain. You’ll get there—but life is rarely certain. You only have this moment.

Unemployment provides a great opportunity to accept, adapt, and enjoy, even if things aren’t perfect now.

Michelle Santos is freelance writer and graduate of the University of San Francisco School of Law. Specializing in grant and legal writing, she also writes about personal development and travel. Photos here and here.

by Lori Deschene

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

You didn’t get the job. You couldn’t raise the money. You missed the deadline. You hired the wrong person.

You didn’t ask for help. You let someone you love down. You failed to plan in advance. You bit off more than you could chew. You forgot something important.

Worst of all, whatever the case, you set the stage for a million questions about what it means, and what you should have done.

When you don’t do something you wanted to do, oftentimes your disappointment has less to do with the results you failed to create and everything to do with your interpretation of what that failure means. That you’re not talented enough. Or competent enough. Or confident enough. Or good enough in general.

The only way to change your reaction to failure is to challenge the beliefs that create it–those ideas about what failure means. And the best way to change those beliefs, is to change the thoughts that shape them.

The things that go through your head right after you feel you’ve let yourself down. And later when you mentally rehash it while waiting for the bus. Then in bed, before you drift off to sleep, when visions of what could have been taunt you.

Psychologists and neuroscientists estimate we think between 45,000 and 51,000 thoughts per day. If the majority of those entail negative interpretations of your weaknesses and mistakes, you will limit your potential because the prospect of failing will seem catastrophic.

Even if you repeat and retweet the most inspiring failure quotes from the likes of Gandhi and Zig Ziglar, you will fuel beliefs that keep you stuck. Afraid to try. Or afraid to let people down. Or afraid of what you’ll feel about yourself if things don’t go to plan.

The good news is you don’t have to look far to start changing the thoughts that limit you. At any given time, there are millions of other people thinking and feeling something similar to what you are. Dealing with similar circumstances. Dreaming similar dreams. Finding new solutions and ways of thinking.

Many of them are right here, reading this blog.

Next time you decide how to  interpret failure, consider one of these answers, from TinyBuddha Facebook fans, to the question:

What does failure mean to you?

1. The opportunity to try again through revised eyes. (Rebecca Spath)
2. Never trying because you’re too afraid to do so. (Keitra Grant)
3. A huge learning opportunity. And the time to reassess and try again.  (Michael Wong)
4. My definition of failure is, “an experience in which the universe feels compelled to grab someone by their hair and whip them in an altogether different direction because they simply aren’t listening!” (Elizabeth Lyons)
5. Reflect, learn, go again (Ben Reyna)
6. Failure is losing sight of who you are, your hopes and dreams but then learning from them. Taking your mistakes in stride and growing from the experience (Donnie McNeil)
7. Failure is not being aware of the present moment. (Rich Heltzel)
8. Failure is just success rounded down. (Matthew Chan)
9. Failure is giving up before your chance to succeed finally comes. (Kathryn Reynolds)
10. Failure could be the personal belief that you are just not good enough, then assuming that to be truth. Letting yourself settle into that concept breeds an atmosphere of defeat which then upholds the original idea. (Ingrid M Lindauer)
11. Failure is a signpost alerting you to the fact that you need to change course. (Barbara Hocker)
12. Failure is not letting go. (Csaba Okrona)
13. Failure just means you’re not ready yet. (Sarah Jane Loewen)
14. Failure is thinking you’ve failed. (Meredith Myers LeBlanc ૐ)
15. Learn from it and to be determined to do things differently and better next time. With failure always come a dozen opportunities. (Kim van Olderen)
16. Failure means at least you’ve tried and now you know what to avoid..so try again. (Tonyandjen Lee)
17. Failure is a bitter sweet experience that enables us to understand that our focus was not in the right place. (Yun Molina)
18. Progress …( Gene Cary)
19. Failure is always a teacher. Regardless of the circumstance, there is always a lesson. It may not come to us right away, but it is surely there. (Michael Schunk)
20. Failure is one interpretation of an event. With our thoughts, we make the world. (Jeremy Mawson)

What these responses tell me is that we’re really not all that different. We all want to make ourselves and the people we love proud. We all want to feel free to try, stumble, fall, get back up, try again, and learn as we go.

What we need is also the same: to realize success isn’t about getting where you want to be; it’s about accepting and appreciating where you are at each point.

To understand happiness is available now–not just on the other side of struggle–because life will always present challenges. To take the positive analogies about failure and progress and not just repeat them but start to believe them.

I say we start a revolution of thinking. Take the words we repeat and retweet and ingrain them to redefine what’s possible. It all starts with the interpretations we repeat in our heads.

How do you define failure?

by Lori Deschene

“To get something you never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.” ~Unknown

Maybe you feel stuck. Or bored. Or frustrated. It’s not that you don’t like the life you live, it’s just that you suspect there’s something more. Some greater sense of meaning or excitement. New connections. New adventures. New possibilities.

The truth is those possibilities are always within your reach. You may not be able to quit your job or develop new skills by osmosis; but every day contains within it countless opportunities, all dictated by the choices you make.

Some of those choices may seem inconsequential when you face them. They’re the little things, after all. Why not do it how you usually do? Why not stay in your comfort zone when it’s just so comfortable there?

Do it for the possibility. The possibility that if you make one minor change you may set the stage for major fulfillment. Sometimes even the smallest shift in thinking or doing can create the biggest opportunity. Here’s how to get started:

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD

1. Challenge your beliefs about what you can and can’t do. Maybe you are a good leader.

2. Challenge your ideas about how things should work. Sometimes when you decide how things should be you limit your ability to be effective in the world as it actually is.

3. Have a vision session. Write in a journal, create a video, sketch–anything that lets you explore what excites you most.

4. Look for opportunities in a tough situation. Eschew a victim mentality, and opt instead for a “ready for new beginnings” attitude.

5. Remove something from your life that doesn’t serve you to make room for something better and new. You never know what you might let in when you let something go.

6. Commit to something you always say you’ll do but always fail to start–and then take the first step right now.

7. Turn your focus from something don’t want to something you do want. This allows you to shift your energy from complaining to taking action.

8. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Positive energy creates positive results.

9. Identify the blocks that keep you from breaking a bad habit. Anytime you improve your habits, you pave the path for personal excellence.

10. Forgive someone if you’ve been holding a grudge. Removing that block will open you up where previously you’d shut down.

GET OUT IN THE OPEN

11. Walk to work and open your eyes. You may find a gym you want to join, or an organization where you’d like to volunteer.

12. Talk to someone while waiting in line and ask what they do. You don’t need to wait for a specified event to network.

13. Make an effort to connect with people you pass—smile and make eye contact for a little longer than usual. Being even slightly more open can open up your world.

14. Learn a new skill. Start taking piano lessons or karate classes.

15. Say yes to something you always talk yourself out of–sing karaoke or take a kickboxing class–even you’re afraid of you’ll feel embarrassed.

16. Take a walking lunch. Walk around your neighborhood for a half-hour, with no destination in mind, and then eat at your desk when you return. You never know what will happen when you get out without a plan.

17. Volunteer at your local animal shelter or ASPCA chapter.

18. Start something you always assumed it was too late to do. Take gymnastics, learn guitar. If it moves you, get started today. It’s never too late.

19. Take up urban foraging–the act of foraging for “free” fruits and vegetables around your city (where harvesting is sanctioned). According to worldchanging.com, “It saves money (free food!), it reduces waste (all that fruit isn’t rotting on the ground) and it builds community (…by forcing interaction between strangers…).”

20. Join an adventure club to try new activities, like white water rafting and rock climbing, and meet new people at the same time.

GET IN WITH PEOPLE

21. Offer to help someone else. Sometimes it’s the best way to help yourself, and not just for the warm fuzzy feeling it provides. You never know what you’ll learn through the process.

22. Carpool to work. This gives you a chance to get to know coworkers better–good for socialization, and possibly good for your career.

23. Compliment a stranger on something you notice. Everyone likes to be appreciated, and it’s a great way to start a conversation.

24. Take pictures of things you find interesting that other people might not notice. When you’re trying to frame the smiley face of leftover food on your plate, people will naturally want to ask what you’re doing. (I know this from experience).

25. Do something you enjoy alone. Go to a museum, or read a book in the park. You’re more accessible when you’re not engulfed in a crowd, making it easier for new people to approach you.

26. Wear an interesting T-shirt, something funny or nostalgic. You likely won’t get through a day wearing a Gem or Alf shirt with at least one conversation with someone new!

27. Move one of your friends into a new pool. Take one from the “we keep things light and casual” pool into the “we share our dreams and confide each other” pool. Research shows people who have 5 or more close friends describe themselves as happy.

28. Bring enough lunch to share with other people at work–particularly childhood favorites. Nothing bonds like shared nostalgia.

29. Pay attention to other people’s body language and expressions so you can offer assistance when they seem to need it.

30. Help someone else get out of their comfort zone. You just may set the precedent that you challenge each other in your friendship.

GET INTO YOUR WORK

31. Show up a half-hour early or leave thirty minutes late. You’ll get more done; you may impress your boss; and you might open yourself up to opportunities for growth–particularly if your coworkers aren’t around.

32. Speak up in a meeting, even if you don’t feel fully confident or you’re afraid you’ll be embarrassed. Your ideas can only take shape if you put them out there.

33. Hold your meeting outside. People work and engage differently in new environments, particularly when they can feel sunlight on their faces.

34. Hold a meeting standing up. This will most likely make it shorter, meaning you’ll be more efficient and create more time to work on something else.

35. Create a business card that speaks to what really matters to you, like Meng Tan’s “jolly good fellow” card.

36. Start learning a new language. The more people you can communicate with, the more valuable you become, particularly for work that involves traveling abraod. Only 6% of the world’s population speaks English.

37. If you don’t work in your dream industry, volunteer within it. This allows you to be your purpose now, even though you don’t have the job; gain experience; and make valuable connections.

38. Find a mentor. Ask someone who does what you’d like to do for tips.

39. Attend a networking event or conference that’s big in your industry. Collect at least 10 business cards, and follow up with emails the next day.

40. Consider one of these creative ways to turn everyday situations into opportunities.

GET CAUGHT IN THE WEB

41. Check the Craigslist Community section for activities, events, and classes–and then send at least 3 emails today. Don’t wait.

42. Start a group at Meetup.com to connect with like-minded people, or join one that already exists.

43. Ask on Twitter if anyone can offer you any tips to move forward with your dream.

44. Learn to cook one tweet at a time. @cookbook tweets entire recipes and instructions in 140 characters each.

45. Learn how to do anything that interests you on eHow, Instructables, or wikiHow.

46. Have a “friend trade” day on Facebook. Introduce your friends to one of yours, and ask them to do the same.

47. If you blog, find other bloggers in your niche and email them to introduce yourself.

48. Work on personal branding to help market yourself and attract new opportunities. Mashable has an excellent post about this here.

49. Search WeFollow.com to find the most influential people in your niche, then initiate contact them through Twitter or email.

50. Join the TinyBuddha Facebook community, where happiness-minded individuals gather to share their wisdom. (Or subscribe to tinybuddha.com for more tips to live out loud!)

There’s a lot of information here–way more than you can tackle all at once. But it’s more about quality than quantity. Even just one small change can have a ripple effect into every area of your life. Of course it’s up to you to decide what’s possible.

How do you open your world to new possibilities?