“There are no failures. Just experiences and your reactions to them.” -Tom Krause

We’re responsible for most of the pain that comes along with failure. We create the failing-drama. We beat ourselves up, convince ourselves we’re inadequate, and assume other people are judging us harshly. We take our biggest disappointments and assume they have to define us. Failure doesn’t have to imply anything about your worth or potential.

Failing means nothing more than the literal happening itself: you tried, it didn’t work, and now you need to try something else. You can either let it pull you down or let it go so you can get back up. You decide how to interpret things that happen. You decide how to respond.

Odds are your life will contain a balanced blend of successes and failures–meaning you’ll have countless opportunities to feel down on yourself or motivated. Which will you choose today?

Related Reading:

• 5 Ways to Let Go and Embrace an Uncertain Future
• 5 Ways to Let Go of Resistance
• 10 Ways I Know There’s Nothing Wrong with You or Me

“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” ~Victoria Holt

When you look at the past with an eye on the mistakes you made, you focus solely on what you lost because of your choices. What you don’t always realize when dwelling on what could have been is what you gained. You always gain something from life experiences, whether it’s knowledge, wisdom, or a greater understanding of what will bring you joy.

Focus on that. Everything you did in the past brought you to where you are now–to this point when you realize what you want. And you can do something about that right now; no matter how old you are, it’s never too late to start.

What can you start today?

If today’s quote resonated with you, you may benefit from reading Do Happy: Start Late.

“Success builds character. Failure reveals it.” -Dave Checkett

Some of the most profound lessons in life sound like platitudes. Case in point: It really is more valuable to play the game well than to win.

Every time you fail, you have the opportunity to:

• Learn something you can apply to the next challenge
• Rebound from disappointment to open yourself up to something better.
• Inspire people around you by responding well.

Whether failure ruins or enriches your life is entirely a matter of attitude and perception. Even if you don’t get what you wanted, failure can help you become the kind of person you want to be. It’s just not possible to always win, but it is possible to always learn and improve yourself.

If you need help dealing with failure today, you may find our recent post, 7 Ways to Get Past Tough Situations Quickly, helpful.

“If you lose today, win tomorrow. In this never-ending spirit of challenge is the heart of a victor.” -Daisaku Ikeda

Maybe you’re a perfectionist who feels overly disappointed when you fail–or worse, discontent when you succeed because nothing’s ever good enough. Maybe you’re so paralyzed by the fear of failure you rarely try at anything. Or maybe you live in the middle ground–always willing to give it a go, but occasionally discouraged by missteps along the way.

Regardless of how you interpret failure and success, it isn’t black-and-white. The world isn’t divided into pools of people who won and people who lost; people who did well in life, and people who failed. It’s divided by people who keep trying, and people who give in to the pain of defeat.

You determine your success by choosing your attitude to failure.

You may not have landed that important account. Or received a job offer you wanted. Or gotten into your top choice school. But tomorrow is still unwritten. Even the moment after this one is unwritten.

Your future contains countless opportunities to succeed in ways you can’t even imagine–by meeting professional goals; becoming a better, stronger person; making a difference in people’s lives; and changing the world just by sharing the gifts that only you can.

It isn’t always winning that makes you great. It’s refusing to get out of the game. How can you push forward today?

“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” -Anais Nin

So often in life we cling to ideas of who we are–jobs, relationships, and living situations that we feel define us. In a way this feels safe. When you know exactly who you are it’s clearer what you’re supposed to do.

But there is no such thing as what you’re supposed to do. You can define moment-to-moment who you want to be, and how you want to live your life. Every second that passes is an opportunity to improve upon the last.

If you face uncertainty today, instead of focusing on what you’re losing, shift your attention to the excitement of who you could become–both for you and other people.

If you lose your job, you have a chance to reconnect with your passions. If your hours get cut, you have more time to spend with your family. If a relationship changes, you can reconnect with yourself and strengthen your sense of independence.

Let yourself become today. You never know who you’ll grow into.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” -Elbert Hubbard

You can do amazing things if you just try. You may not do it the first time. You may not do it perfectly. But you’ll learn. You’ll get better as you go. And along the way you will touch other people who want to try, as well, but feel scared of taking a risk.

Take a risk.

It’s not just our accomplishments that make a difference in this world. It’s the courage to try. The willingness to be vulnerable. The passion to keep going, even when the odds seem stacked against you. The tenacity to push through and open your heart, when it feels safer to stop and shut down.

Trying makes a difference. It shows everyone around you you believe in yourself and the power of your dreams. And it gives them the strength to do the same.

What will you try today?

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” -Unknown

No matter how smart, talented, or well-connected you are, you will face disappointments in life. Even with the best planning, sometimes things go awry. Even after giving it your all, sometimes things don’t work out.

It’s an inevitability that can’t be avoided because of your status, wealth, or connections. The old cliche is true: into every life, a little rain must fall.

What differentiates success from failure is your ability to still believe in tomorrow even when today feels tough; your willingness to see light even through the darkest clouds.

Whatever blow you took today, realize it’s only a hindrance. Whatever pain you felt, understand it will go away eventually. Let yourself feel what you need to, and then let go, with tomorrow in your sight line. A disappointment is only as catastrophic as you make it.

“Do not give your attention to what others do or fail to do; give it to what you do or fail to do.” -Dhammapada

It’s tempting to focus your energy on other people. It allows you to stay stuck wherever you are in life without feeling responsibility to change.

Having trouble getting along with people? It’s their fault–they’re demanding, selfish, and stubborn.

Can’t advance professionally? It’s your co-workers’ fault for creating a difficult work environment.

Maybe there’s some truth to your observations. People can be difficult, demanding, selfish, and stubborn. All people.

You can’t control or change anyone else, but you can improve the way you interpret their actions and deal with them.

Today when you’re tempted to focus on other people’s shortcomings, turn your attention inward instead. No one is perfect; but we can all get closer every day by starting change with ourselves.

“A stumble may prevent a fall.” -Proverb

Everyone loses their footing every now and then. No matter how meticulous or hard-working you are, you will eventually trip up. It’s part of being human.

You could let it chisel away at your self esteem and hinder your ability to keep going–or you could look at the situation from a different angle.

A misstep gives you a chance to reevaluate what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. It gives you the opportunity to reflect on your choices, and make minor changes that will help you grow and improve.

If you’re too aggressive with your employees and one of them quits, you can now change your style to better serve your whole team. If you accidentally hurt someone you love, you can get to the root of your feelings to avoid causing even more hurt in the future.

If you stumbled today–as most of us do, in some small way, every day–how can you use it to better yourself?

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” -H. Jackson Browne

It’s safe. Familiar. Comfortable. Effortless. It doesn’t make waves. It’s what people expect of you. You’re less likely to fail. Less likely to feel vulnerable. Less likely to question if it was worth the risk.

Whether you realize it now or not, it is.

We tend to regret the things we didn’t do more than the things we did.

Get unsafe. Less familiar. Uncomfortable. Difficult. Make waves. Define expectations. Risk failing. Feel vulnerable. Be bold and courageous. No matter where it takes you, leaving your comfort zone–learning, growing, feeling alive–is always worth the risk.