“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” -Unknown

The other day, I watched a fascinating documentary about behavioral economics—a field that considers how mental, emotional, and social factors influence money-related decisions. Traditional economic theory emphasizes rational thought as the basis for financial decision making.

In the beginning, researchers hosted an auction for a $20 bill, starting the bidding at $1. The twist was that after the highest bidder won the $20, the second highest bidder would need to pay his or her losing bid.

If the participants were thinking logically, they may not have bid at all, since anyone could end up being the second highest bidder. Ultimately, the winner paid $28 for the $20, meaning someone else had to fork over $27 for nothing.

Researchers concluded that social pressure fueled the process—meaning no one wanted to be the second-highest bidder, so they were willing to increase their financial risk in an attempt to minimize their losses.

Generally, I find economics about as interesting as dust collecting on a shelf, but emotional, socially driven decision making—now that intrigues me.

Have you ever stayed in a position you didn’t like because other people told you it was a great job—which made you fear “losing” a good opportunity, even though you didn’t really want it?

Have you ever considered buying something you couldn’t afford, and didn’t really want, solely because your friends bought one and you didn’t want to somehow miss out?

Have you ever swallowed an idea in a meeting because the group seemed to be going in a different direction—even though you felt strongly opposed to their approach?

Social pressure can dramatically impair our ability to both weigh our choices logically and follow our gut instincts. When we ignore what we believe is right and really want—underneath our desire to avoid loss and look good—we set ourselves up for internal conflict and pain.

We are emotional beings, and that isn’t a bad thing. Our intuition is a powerful tool that helps us utilize our experience and life lessons. But it’s up to us to recognize when our emotions are leading us toward smart choices—and when they’re guiding us to choose for the crowd to the detriment of our happiness.

No one else lives with our choices. It’s up to us to make them wisely.

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“A hero is a man who does what he can.” -Romain Rolland

Two weeks ago, a group of brave bystanders in Utah banded together to lift a burning car and save a man trapped beneath it.

In 2009, a passenger on Northwest Flight 253 leapt onto a burning man to prevent him from detonating an explosive device on Christmas Day.

Four years ago, a 50-year old man threw himself onto the subway tracks in Manhattan, just as a train was arriving, to save a man who had fallen after having a seizure.

These men and women all had one thing in common: they were ordinary people, just like you and me, and they decided in an instant to do something heroic.

According to renowned psychologist Dr. Phil Zimbardo, famous for his Stanford prison experiment, we can all be heroes—and it doesn’t require us to put our lives at risk.

Dr. Zimbardo has dedicated his career to studying the darker side of human nature to understand what causes some people to act kindly and others to act cruelly. His research has revealed that we all have the potential for good and bad, and it’s largely influenced by our situations.

So what exactly makes a hero? Simply put, a hero is someone who chooses not to watch and wait in the face of a crisis.

A hero puts compassion into action by helping someone in need—whether it’s a friend or a stranger.

A hero decides to speak out against injustice, instead of assuming someone else will do it.

A hero supports the causes that matter to him or her, without expecting reward.

It’s easy to feel powerless when it comes to righting the biggest wrongs in our world. But stronger than our fear that we can’t make a difference is our instinct to try.

Today I commit to doing what I can—being there for those who need me, standing up for what I believe in, and choosing not to ignore my instincts when I feel that something isn’t right.

How will you be a hero?

Photo by merick.fightBoredom

“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” -Marianne Williamson

We all have it: a little voice inside that tries to hold us back.

It tells us not to say what we feel so we won’t make any waves. It tells us not to define what we want so that things can stay predictably easy. It tells us not to go for our dreams because we may not be good enough.

It may also tell us that it’s selfish to focus on our own desires and goals–that good people are more concerned with giving than getting. But giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. And sometimes the best thing we can give to others is a reminder that we all deserve to live passionate, fulfilling, engaged lives–and we all have the capacity to do it.

So today, let your light shine.

Make your own needs and wants priorities.

Make time for the things you love to do, even if they feel silly, or superficial, or extravagant. If it’s within your means to do it and it doesn’t hurt anyone, don’t worry about justifying–just enjoy!

Use your gifts and talents in the way you want to use them–not the way you think you should.

Speak directly from your heart, without fear of reproach.

If you believe in something, stand behind it, even if you stand alone.

Keep your heart open to the world around you so you can be moved and inspired–and then use that internal illumination to create something that will move and inspire the people around you.

Play. Laugh. Love. Leap. And remember that you have nothing to prove. There’s nothing you have to do, and there’s no one you have to be other than exactly who you are, because who you are is beautiful. Who you are is full of light–and the world deserves to see it.

Photo by Missie Graham

“To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.” -Charles de Montesquieu

There is a very specific type of post I look for when reading guest contributions. It’s not expert advice, though clearly it helps to have a thorough knowledge of a topic. It’s not beautiful prose, though obviously it’s enjoyable to receive a post that reads like poetry.

What I look for is bravery in honesty. You can clarify the wording and expand on the advice, but you can’t create authenticity through editing.

I’d far prefer to read a post about depression from someone who admits their own experiences than from someone who only discloses where they received their PhD. I’d be much more interested in a post about fear from someone who admits what terrifies them than a well-crafted article from an author who seems to be without struggles of his own.

I haven’t always written vulnerably because once upon a time I thought this undermined my authority–and I wanted people to trust me. Then I realized that the people I trust the most in life are the ones who aren’t afraid to show me that they, too, are fallible.

We, as a society, often set ourselves up for massive falls from grace by catapulting ourselves and our public figures onto pedestals, where we’ll inevitably fall.

We are all only human. And none of us have it all figured it out–not even the people we trust to lead, guide, inspire, and blaze a trail for us. No matter how much we have to teach, we still have much to learn.

Admitting this isn’t insecurity; it’s honesty. Of course, there’s a balance to be struck. If we hope to be a force for good, we have to be good to ourselves so that being humble doesn’t preclude us from being strong.

The point is that we can’t reach other people by extending a hand from 1,000 miles above them. We have to acknowledge that we’re in the same boat in order to help steer each other straight.

I may not know you, but I know I am a lot like you, and that we can relate to each other. I know that we are not alone with our challenges and feelings. And knowing that is truly great.

Photo by Akuppa

“When you learn, teach. When you get, give.” -Maya Angelou

Today is full of endless possibilities. Take it all in and then share it.

“A leader leads by example whether he intends to or not.” -Unknown

Nothing is as important as what you actually do. Not your intentions, not your promises, not your suggestions.

Today is your opportunity to put thoughts and words into deeds. Not because people are watching; not because they may follow your lead, but solely because the doing, in itself, can make a difference in the world. What you do from day to day matters if you make it matter.

You never know how today’s kindness, generosity, integrity, or ingenuity will ripple into tomorrow.

What example will you set today?

“The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands.” -Robert M. Pirsig

When you feel you live in a happy place, know that you chose to be happy. When you feel you live in a loving place, know that you chose to be loving. When you feel you live in a place with opportunity, know that you chose to look for them.

How will you choose to improve the world today?

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“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

As you count down to the new year this evening, reflecting upon days past and imagining what’s to come, pull your focus inward.

Plans to make big changes are all well and good; but who you are can shake the world right now–even if you haven’t yet seen any resolutions through. Your passion, strength, and kindness are all valuable assets that can make a significant difference at any time if you let them.

How can you use that power today?

“Do not give your attention to what others do or fail to do; give it to what you do or fail to do.” -Dhammapada

It’s tempting to focus your energy on other people. It allows you to stay stuck wherever you are in life without feeling responsibility to change.

Having trouble getting along with people? It’s their fault–they’re demanding, selfish, and stubborn.

Can’t advance professionally? It’s your co-workers’ fault for creating a difficult work environment.

Maybe there’s some truth to your observations. People can be difficult, demanding, selfish, and stubborn. All people.

You can’t control or change anyone else, but you can improve the way you interpret their actions and deal with them.

Today when you’re tempted to focus on other people’s shortcomings, turn your attention inward instead. No one is perfect; but we can all get closer every day by starting change with ourselves.