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Albana

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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
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  • #55313
    Albana
    Participant

    Dear Learning,
    What can i say??? Reading your post just made me cry as im im too weak this period and sad as well but pleaseee dont justify him,just try to find a solution to help yourself. I used to justify my ex also but i still remain to the same conclusion: they will come if they wants to come,dont force anything. Just disappear… Maybe is a drastic desicion but at me it made a good efect.
    Dont know what to say else…really!!!
    I remain at your disposal everytime you want to talk.
    Love Albana

    #55292
    Albana
    Participant

    Hello,
    I read your story and im really sorry about your situation,your hurt feelings:(

    My opinion is that he has problems with himself,he is depressive and inconsistent.

    My question: Why do you need him even as a friend? He is just hurting you and nothing else.

    Please do not tread on yourself.Ruminant said well that Letting go comes naturally when the storm has passed…

    I had a bad experience 3 months ago and believe me i was like you but i just understood that i cannot force someone to stay with me. I have my weak moments of course(yesterday for example didnt go to work because i had anxiety and headache) but when i think that i did my best and everything it makes me feel better and think that maybe he wasnt for me.

    Please just try to be calm,go the therapist appointment and im sure you will be sober and with high-self esteem.

    ps: read my topic here http://tinybuddha.com/topic/relationship-in-distance-how-can-i-get-my-ex-back-help/ It helped me a looooot and i hope that it will help you too
    Regards
    Albana

    #55250
    Albana
    Participant

    Dear Annie,

    Im very sorry about your hurt feelings:(
    You just shouldnt go,you wont change anything believe me. You just remember excatly my relationship because after we fighted and he decided by message(whatsapp) that he dont feels anything,that its over. I had already booked the ticket to Rome because i wanted to make him a surprise,to say to him
    That i was sorry and start all over again from the beginning but in that situation i told him that i booked the ticket to see him and he just said that i shouldnt go,because he is convinced that its over.Though i went and he waited for me in the airport buuuuuut it was horrible,staying at his home saying to him i was sorry all the time,feeling weak,he was cold,sleeping in the same bed and it was just like i was sleeping alone.He didnt touch even a hair. I felt like i was dead. So,dont do it! Move on,dont write anything to him,dont go there(im sorry that you spent your money because its not the right time) Give time to him if he change his mind,but the most important thing,give time to yourself.Dont stay and think how to get him back but think about yourself,you will find very soon someone else.Im very happy that you go out with friends,i will do the same because its been 3 months,crying,staying at home,panic,headache,being looser and stuff like that. So,tomorrow i’ll go to work,after work going for a drink and on weekend im going out at night. Enough,cant take it anymore. If he does not want you one time,you wont want him 10 times. You did everything you could but dont tread on yourself. Pleaseeeee! Stay calm. And if you have those bad feelings in weak moments, read this conversation or a link that i posted on Lunarforest,it will help you.
    Looking forward to get your answer my friend.
    Love Albana

    #55184
    Albana
    Participant

    Im very happy to read that you feel better,

    You are welcome to share and express your feeling here with all of us.

    Next time i want to read that you are happy and found a new beautiful and good girlfriend

    Now,put a smile on your face and live your life in the best way you can.

    We will have our moments,remind our ex g/b but day by day im sure and i hope that everything will be better.

    I wish that everyday to myself because i had a very horrible period but im trying really hard to be positive.

    #55182
    Albana
    Participant

    Hey Jefferson,

    First please you need to calm down and be more positive and have a high esteem about yourself.

    Im really sorry about your situation in your family and of course with your Gf…

    Did you read the entire converstation of mine with the other friends here? You have tried to make your relationship work but still she is not with you right? She may love you now and forever but in this kind of situation i think that would be better to let her go for a period. What she did,to block you from fb and change the number for me its a little bit immature(sorry to say that) Maybe she did this because she is angry or maybe she find this way to go away because she knows you love her very much and she knows you are going to say that by messages or phone calls ect. Please try to not be weak and whats more important dont be in front of her because you will lose the chance to come back with her(if in the future) Try to respect her desicion,think that you have done everything you could but dont tread on yourself. See,when i broke up with my boyfriend and he says to me all those bad words,inside of me i was just crushed but in front of him i tried not to cry too much and be diplomat.He gave up on me too but what can i do? IF you force things everything will be worst,BELIEVE ME!!!!
    What you should do? hmmm,thats a very delicate question…1.DO NOT CONTACT HER(PLEASEEE DO THAT)
    2. DO NOT ASK ABOUT HER 3. FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE,SCHOOL,FRIENDS,FAMILY.
    When did you broke up with her??
    Courage,you are young,you will have other chances to meet the right person.
    In my first experience(your age) i have a 3 years relationship,i considered him love of my life the first and the last man but it turns out that he wasnt…He cheated on me,my friend told me that and do you know what i did??? we broke up by phone,i wished him all the best and neveeeeeeer contacted him. And do you know what happened? after a year he came to meet me,to see me though he was engaged with the same girl he cheated on me. He apologized and asked for a second chance but it was too late because i didnt feel nothing and i laughed because i knew that this would happened.So,you should do the same,LET HER GO AND MOVE ON,TIME HEALS EVERYTHING AND YOU ARE A VERY YOUNG BOY TO DESTROY YOURSELF.I know you are broken hearted and maybe my advices will not help you but if she moved on and found a new boyfriend what are you waiting for???

    #55180
    Albana
    Participant

    Dear Lunarforest,

    Thanks thanks thanks for finding your time to share your sincere opinions with me.

    i consider you a good friend from now and on…

    its funny because the link that i sent you,i read it everymorning to feel better and yes i do but you know we have our moments…

    i talked with my boss and actually he gave me 1 week off but i didnt because at home i wont do anything else than think about him.

    You live in Canada,lucky you. I come from a very small country( Albania) i live in the capital (Tirana) and i really do not have the opportunities that you have,and believe what im saying. I live in a city with poor mentality, the only entertainment that we have is only and only bars and clubs,and im bored with this kind of lifestyle.Within 2 hours you have visited Tirana.
    Good luck on your exams and please focus on your career.Im sorry because my english its not very good but i have i could speak in my language would be more easy to write and express my thoughts.
    Ive finished the faculty of Economy here and now im looking for a schoolarship to go abroad even for just one year,and start a new life.
    Emmmm,another advice i dont know if this may help to you:
    since i broke up with my ex befor i sleep i watch only cartoons,i like the colours and it makes me feel better and sleep better.
    For example you can watch: FROZEN,DESPICABLE ME,HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA ECT…
    And yes its my pleasure too talking with you
    Good luck on your exams,put a smile on your face and just be grateful(as in the link) that you have people around you closer friends or even friends like me who respect you for who you are.

    #55168
    Albana
    Participant

    Goodmorning Lunarforest,

    Im really sorry that your are in this situation but at least now you know what to do. Me,noooo…
    I dont know why his mother tells me everytime i speak with her that i should wait him to calm down,his aunty says the same…
    i really dont know whyyy:((( sometimes i think that the age difference that we have me26 and him 39 made all this.

    Im at my office and cant stop thinking about me and him,and im really sorry that my boss noticed that.
    The worst thing is that i feel that im the only person guilty in this relationship.
    I remember when he said: i gave you a lot of chances but now i cannot give you anything, you were the one full of goodwill in the beginning but you always failed. TO FAIL its something that makes me more sad and makes me cry all the time.
    it makes me think that im uncapable to keep a healthy relationship.
    My esteem is 0.
    I mean,i think that im a bad person who hurts people:(
    But i do really wish to pass all this and be happy and smile again,and i wish the same to you and all the person who are in the same situation or worst…
    WHEN I READ THE LINK BELOW I FEEL BETTER AT LEAST FOR A MOMENT,OR JUST FOR A DAY. HOPE THAT IT WILL HELP YOU ALSO…
    http://tinybuddha.com/blog/dealing-with-a-break-up-and-learning-from-the-experience/

    #55143
    Albana
    Participant

    Hey just.me,
    Thank you for your good words,
    Yeah,thats my only problem: getting him back its my main focus and i know i shouldnt do it but its something that i cant control for now.
    We broke up for stupid reasons…
    He was older than me and excpected more tolerance from him if he loved me for real.
    But i guess that asking myself Why why why will make it harder to forget about him. Ouuuuufffff:(((( I love him because at the end he is a good person but i think that he dont know what he wants.he told me: im contradictor,thats why we shouldnt stay together!

    #55142
    Albana
    Participant

    Im really sorry Lunarforest,
    But at least you got an answer though a bad one and i believe you felt bad.
    What im wondering is that how come after all i cant talk bad about him,i wish all the best for him,i go to church and pray for him. For easter so i went to church and light a candle for him.
    I guess you feel the same.you dont seem a person who applies the revenge…
    About her birthday after you got this kind of answer do not wish her…as you said: it wont change anything. I think i will do the same and i hopeeee i wont change my mind.

    #55137
    Albana
    Participant

    Yes Lunarforest,
    Time heals everything…I think u should cut also the communication with his mother,because it reminds me of him everytime…
    But its so hard
    Im really sorry that you are at the same situation and really wish you all the best and to find a good person,because you deserve it.
    I have a smile on my face now.
    Its very strange because i cannot explain and talk with my closer friends and im doing that here and it feels better…
    What about his birthday? Should i wish him?

    #55133
    Albana
    Participant

    Hey Lunarforest,
    You are right but what it drives me crazy is that i did everything i could,i went there only to apologize as a grown up person but he got more angry and said all those things :((( i know i dont deserve that behaivor of him though i think was because he was still angry but what about now? Its been almost 3months and nothing.
    When is mother asked him about us he answered: I’ve discussed with Alba. The last word that he said when i was there was: Grown up!!!!
    Do you really think that the message wasnt correct? Do i have to tell to my parents that is over? Or should i wait a little more? On 16 of may its my birthday and i really hope that he can wish me.

    #55131
    Albana
    Participant

    Hello guys,
    I really want to thank you sharing and giving me advices.the truth is that maybe i had a bad behavior but you know how hard is to mantain a relationship in distance.but still i took the plane and went to Rome and i took my responsibilties,my fault but he was cold.we slept in the same bed and he touched even my hair. How can somebody who had plans with you and after a month says he dont feel nothing anymore? And the strange thing was that even when i went there and he said that its over we went to his family for lunch and dinner,he came also to my sister house for a drink.(all this happened at my last trip when i apologized for the fight that we had) I just dont understand. We borned in the same country though he lives in Rome for more than 20years.I speak with his mother on the phone,she lives also there,i speak with his grandmother,she lives here in my country,and she doesnt know about our break up,my family also doesnt know.
    Im in a totally mess,just desperate and hopeless.
    In my last long message i said to him that i was sorry that its over,that i was sorry that he didnt give me the chance to fix my mistakes and to show him that it wasnt the moment to break up after the plans that we had for the future,and because he was important for me. I said also to him that he will be in my thoughts and my heart until even the 1% of hope will vanish. I said to him also that what it hurts more is the fact that im affraid even to ask him:How are you? Because i know he wont reply.
    At the end i said that i miss him and i want him to be ok.( wrote this message at 3am in the morning) i was feeling bad,crying all night,feeling empty.
    Was a mistake to write this message?
    On June is his birthday?
    What should i do?
    Thanks again
    Very glad to talk with all of you
    Looking forward to read your opinions

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)