Thank you so much everyone… what a nice forum.

I remember the power of saying NO when I went through my first divorce- I had no choice, I just couldn’t do all the things i used to do, financially and emotionally i didnt have the time…. it was very empowering to finally be able to turn things down and say NO.

I am the middle child, always trying to be a people pleaser and mediator, over achieving at everything i did, to try to get some acknowledgement. And my parents are really good people, they still don’t know, they have no clue… and to them, in their mind/way- they love me I guess as much as they can….. every day they treat me, very un-intentionally like I don’t matter- my other siblings always take priority (that does sound childish, I know but I could list 100’s of examples). And now my parents are too old and I try to just understand why…..

I always said if I ever had children I would only have one. I would never have children and possibly love one more than another. I still TRY to get my parents approval even to this day as a woman in my 50’s.

I have the possibility of a new friendship now, but I am also paying the person to work for me- so i guess that will further complicate things… but I am trying to be super aware of my emotional boundaries in this.

thanks! CottageRose