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  • #66514
    S
    Participant

    Thank you Tir and bill for your kind responses.

    I hope I do find some truly good people.

    About joining ‘groups’. I’m a pretty uncomfortable with groups at present. Also, I’ve have had some bad experiences with ideological groups in particular. You see, when I was a younger, I used to think that world was divided into two groups, good and bad, and there was this battle between good and evil going on. I thought that everyone on my side, with my ideologies were good, and everyone against those were bad. When grew up a little, and actually started getting involved in groups like that, I discovered I couldn’t have been more wrong. The people on one side were no different from the people I condemned on the other side; they were just as hateful, prejudice, mean and ignorant as their “enemies”. A perfect mirror image of one another. I learned that there are no ‘good guys’ or ‘bad guys’ in this world, they’re all quite the same really. After that I stayed away from these people, not just because I was disappointed, but because those groups were one of the most toxic, hostile, horrible environments I’d ever been in and they had a terrible effect on my psyche (I guess they still do in a way).

    Also I do love animals. Joining the Bonobos isn’t far off from what I’d like to do; which is to move about out to the boonies and just stay in the forest.

    Thanks for understanding how difficult it was for me to do this. I am trying to put myself out there, if very cautiously. I’m trying to limit my interaction with positive healthy people too (and naturally avoid toxic people). I feel like in the past toxic people have just ‘come out of nowhere’ and I never know when someone is going to turn out to be toxic or not so I just avoid meeting new people all together (better to be safe than sorry, I say). I know that toxic people have a bad effect on others in general, but I’m also overly sensitive and emotional so I feel it has an extreme effect on me. If there are red flags to toxic people though, maybe I can learn to spot them and thus avoid them.

    #66357
    S
    Participant

    I had to respond to this post because I am in a very similar situation.
    I am part towards getting my degree, but I feel so conflicted about it. I don’t like school, I feel miserable when I’m there, I dread it. What I truly want deep down inside is to be a homemaker and full-time mom, it’s what would make me most happy.
    My family and in-laws do not approve, they want me to finish school and get a career; they tell me I’m “wasting myself” for wanting to be a housewife (this upsets me a lot- it’s such a insulting thing to say about all the housewives and homemakers out there!). My spouse supports and respects my choice, but family is very important to me and it tears me up inside to disappoint them and fight with them about this. On the other hand, school makes me miserable and I don’t want to go into some soul-crushing job that will just make me even more unhappy.
    The main problem with me is money; getting my degree would pacify my family a little maybe (they’d still want me to get a career methinks) but tuition is just so expensive! I’m already way in debt, and every year I do the more in debt I become. Which means getting our own house and starting a family drifts further and further out of reach for us (my partner and I agreed that we don’t want to start a family till we have our own place and are financially stable).
    I’m sorry that I don’t really have any advice for you, Alpal. I just wanted to reach out and say you’re not alone and I know how you feel right now.

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