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finsallystrong

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Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • #171323
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi,

    I understand what Anita is saying. And I also understand what you are saying too, Myles.

    at the end of the day, regardless of the situation, the pain is the same. It is real and it is deep and it cuts like a knife.

    And I’m sorry you are still feeling this pain. But time really does heal all. I have learned over many years and with much resistance that, unfortunately, some of the greatest lessons are learned through this pain. Even if it feels like there is no way out.

    I think I am finally breaking through the other side. Some days are harder than others. I have a good therapist and that helps. I wish I could stop holding myself back.

    I guess what I m trying to say is, pain is inevitable. But you appear to have the talent to turn this pain in to something good.

    And I wish you a lifetime of joy, pain and great success.

    #170855
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi Myles,

    i just read my own pain and fears within your words. I would totally listen and connect to your song if I heard it on the radio. You have a beautiful ability to connect.

    I’m sorry for the pain you have experienced. It looks like you are strong though because you came back from it and made something deep and meaningful from it. Great work and welcome back. Thanks for sharing.

    J

    #76818
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi!!!

    It makes my day seeing your responses!!! I am sorry to hear that things went a little south for awhile. I understand how frustrating things can be but it really sounds like you are doing an excellent job at keeping things together. Congrats on scoring an interview for a physical therapy job!

    Your reply came at the perfect time. I have been struggling with keeping my head up through this job search. That, and I am in a relationship with someone who doesn’t understand that his occasional rage hurts me mentally and kills my emotional security. I suffer from ptsd as a result of multiple serious traumas in my life so when we fight, it opens many old wounds and takes me back a step or two sometimes. I tell him that, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other when he feels threatend of any sorts. I am also in recovery for alcoholism. I will be sober for three years this July and while I am grateful at this second chance in life, it is difficult for me to build self esteem when insults are thrown around. I feel more lost now thsn when I started out, despite my serious efforts to improve. I was hoping in this time I have had out of work, I could pursue my talents as a writer and artist but in juggling many things at once, I have lost all direction and most motivation, fearing I should just give up on my natural talents and go back in to what I was doing before (corporate world). Like you, I know I could change the world, but I don’t know how I could go about that. What are the most effective ways for you to handle adversity?

    I smiled when I saw your response yesterday because it came on a “good” day for me. I spent all day thoroughly searching job sites, sending out my resume and applications with a positive mindset, rather than a feeling of dread or fear. Your confidence reminder kept me going through out. I admire your motivation and talent to continue writing and getting it out there. You do a great job and I look forward to reading what you have shared with us!!!

    I’m grateful to have crossed paths with you. You appear to be my angel of wisdom when I need one the most. I love your optimism and sincerely hope I have not been a negative nancy through out this. I am learning how to communicate better and am really interested in the steps you take to remain so positive while you are experiencing some similar experiences as me.

    #75439
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi Caleb W,

    I’m so glad you reached out!

    First thing’s first – give yourself more credit on your intelligence. One, you write well, two, you have great self awareness and three, you reached out for help, which is something I wish I had done when I was your age.

    I was very similar to you. Rebellious. School and making good grades were not on my list of priorities. They used to be until I tried to be popular and ended up getting in to trouble and started hanging out with the wrong crowd that I met at the detention school I was sent to for six weeks. Lured by the fantasy that drinking, pot and cigs were the best way to get me to where I wanted to be, which was far, far away from my strict father…oh how I wish I had done things differently…

    Partying seems like a ton of fun at your age. If you’re one of the lucky few who don’t get in trouble and manage to keep up in school (I just barely flew by because I slacked), then it is fun. However, when you reach my age, thirty, and you are struggling to find yourself because you lost your identity years ago taking the wrong path…well, looking back, taking that path wasn’t worth it. Some days I still feel like a kid, lost and afraid in this world, because I inherited a lot of bad habits along my journey that no longer serve me here and now. I am also rebuilding my relationships with my parents, whom I pushed away a very long time ago. I just didn’t understand them and completely pushed them away when alcohol became my one and only love.

    When I got sober three years ago, my eyes opened wide to not only the destruction I caused as a result of alcohol and cigarettes, but to how much I hurt my family and friends. I finally understood that though I thought my parents were cruel…they really just loved the sh*t out of me and were at a loss on how to communicate that. I only saw it as them being jerks, standing in my way to freedom. But then I also looked at their upbringings. Why they acted and reacted the way they did. How they were raised. And by the way – you mentioned your mom might “get over it”. No she won’t. She’ll only hurt more because she loves you unconditionally. And so does your dad.

    I thought at your age that I would be just fine, flying along, but I was…wrong. A ton of heartbreak could have been prevented and I might live with the regret that I hurt my family by pushing them away for a long time to come. Once you understand why people do the things they do, whether through their own hurt, fear, etc., etc., it makes it easier to “accept” them. We are all the same, at the end of the day, we just have different ways of communicating.

    That said, rather than turn to vices in order to cover up feelings, try to discover what makes you happy. Walking in nature might sound silly to you (might not, idk)…but it helps clear your mind. Writing helps me put my thoughts and feelings on paper and controls the urges to imbibe in things I shouldn’t. Maybe you like to read, dance, listen to music. What is your passion and what makes you tick, because once you spend time discovering that…the true you can shine through and you will find a much better life than one that alcohol, drugs and nicotine can provide you…and THAT I can guarantee you.

    You can take my reply to heart or with a grain of salt. Ultimately, the choice is yours. But from someone who is picking up the pieces of their own life, thirteen years later, I can tell you that I wish I had not chosen the path I did. It’s easier to handle feelings if you don’t numb them to begin with, and hopefully you will feel good at the end of every day knowing that you did something more fulfilling than drinking one too many, day in and day out. I can tell you are very talented. You have what it takes to succeed in whatever you set out to do in life. Find what makes you happy.

    I wish you the best of luck. Life does get better, but please give it a chance for it to get better before doing something you might regret in the long run…

    #75432
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    P.S. – I do notice that I might have a codependency issue

    #72594
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi Aiyana,

    Hope all is well with you. I had an email from tiny buddha the other week notifying me of a new link to your book. I have been battling depression pretty badly lately so I haven’t had a chance to get back to you earlier. I would love to read it though! I read what you had last time and you are certainly talented!

    You are also the most kind, upbeat and positive person I have routinely noticed here. Thank you for that. It is always refreshing to see good people around.

    #72324
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi Kyniska,

    I am grateful for you and your post. I haven’t been on the forums in awhile, struggling with some stuff going on. I thought, “Hey, I bet visiting Tiny Buddha will help. It’s worth a shot.” Your post was the first thing I saw. So thank you for being here and sharing. You helped me breathe again.

    #68676
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hey Aiyana,

    So glad you had a nice Thanksgiving! It was seventy degrees and sunny, down here! (I live in the South.)

    Thank you for your kind words. I am actually taking your advice on that. Baby steps, but so far so good!

    As far as writing – I’ve been writing for decades, though nothing ever too seriously. (Although I did get published first place in a Rising Star competition in third grade…hey we have to start somewhere ;). My dream is to become an author. After nearly a decade in the financial industry (I’m an artist by nature), and overcoming alcoholism, I wish to inspire others to help them find their happiness. My friend has been trying to convince me to start a blog, but I don’t know where to even begin getting it set up :).

    Your book sounds interesting! I went to check it out via the link you posted, however I was unable to find your masterpiece :). I am not tech-y at all, so I could have missed it. Is there somewhere specific we should be looking?

    #68493
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Also, you mentioned you gave up Christianity six months ago.

    Raised in the deep South of the USA, I could never quite jump on to the idea of organized religion. However, my childhood best friend is a preachers wife and daughter, heavily involved with the church. So I respect everyones beliefs, regardless.

    With that said, I do believe in believing in something. I call my higher power, Grandma. I really believe she is with me all the time based off of occurrences that happen often.

    If that is just too much right now, begin by believing in yourself. A lady told my fiancee recently on a plane ride that there is no point in living if you don’t have dreams to live for.

    So no matter what, remember to believe. Best of luck!

    Jd

    #68492
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    ElleTinker700 –

    I’m not sure how to edit a post, to be real honest. In fact I think I read on the site, that we are unable to do so, but I wouldn’t quote me on that.

    What I have seen others do is add a post underneath their initial post, adding more clarity to the situation. That should suffice :).

    I’m glad you are able to post and share now! Enjoy!

    #68483
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi Mermaid!

    I appreciate you reaching out to me on my other post and wanted to drop by and familiarize myself with your current situation.

    To begin with, 29 is NOT old. WE are not old! In fact, I made so many bad decisions in my past, I look forward to turning thirty next year! For some reason or another, it seems therapeutic to be able to leave my “young naive, learning” years behind. So that is the positive perspective I have on being fortunate to be 29! We don’t necessarily have to have accomplished any major goals by a specific deadline, we are just fortunate to be older and wiser and several miles farther from the instances we might otherwise regret…and after being in marketing for a number of years, I can say numbers do help flip the mindset! 30 seems exciting and new compared to 29. It’s the beginning of a new chapter. Begin a countdown celebration to your birthday, now!

    That said, I can also relate to moving back somewhere, expecting to automatically return to the great joy and happiness the environment provided me, previously. My fiance and I argue – a lot lately, with all the stress we are enduring. We are passionate and we are in love with one another, but sometimes I find myself wondering if moving him to my hometown and changing his entire life plan, was a good idea. I worry he might resent me at some point, though he is not the type at all. I don’t know your exact situation regarding your ex, but I can tell you I relate to moving back to a place of happiness and experiencing difficulties with the loved one.

    I can’t give you any specific advice there without further information, but I want you to know that those who are meant to be in your life, will find you, and if they leave, they will find a way to come back, one way or another. And if he is not meant to be, try to take the lessons you learned from the relationship and apply those to future relationships and your life in general. What do you need/desire/require/want in yourself, in order to find that in others? Have you decided you want to change the world and listen to John Lennon all day, inspired to write one life changing idea after another? Then it’s probably not a good idea to find someone who hits the bars every night. That’s incredibly broad, but meant to get the point across, that once you discover your innermost desires, only then can you truly know real love.

    Perhaps you have spent several years battling CFS that you haven’t really been allowed enough time to explore what makes you happy? If you find you connect with nature in a way that awes and inspires you, spend more time outside walking, jogging, yoga in the park, gardening. You’ll find a sense of peace in whatever your “preferred” environment and at that point, the dots should begin to connect again, and the ideas will trickle in.

    At least that is what happened for me. But I believe you will find your way back on the path of clarity. It is said, it is always darkest before the dawn. Just remember to let it be and believe there will be an answer. (In the jumbled words of the great Mr. John Lennon!)

    I wish you the best of luck!!!

    Love,
    jd

    #68475
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi ElleTinker700!

    To create a new post, you will first need to register or login to the site, depending on if you are currently an existing member.
    From there, find the Forums column near the top.
    Click Topics, third option down on the dropbox.
    It should direct you to a page where you will see all the current topics, in no specific area. (Relationships, Emotional Mastery, Share Your Truth, etc.)
    The topic title will appear in Bold, on the top line.
    The following line, in smaller print will read: started by: ____ in: (specific forum).
    Click on your forum of interest, which will be highlighted in blue.
    That will route you to the specific forum you are interested in posting to.
    Scroll to the bottom.
    A box will be available for creating a new topic.
    If you would like, you have the option to check the ‘notify me of follow ups via email account’, to the left, before you hit Submit.

    I am NOT computer savvy, yet very detailed, so hopefully I don’t get you lost! Best of luck!

    #68474
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi Mermaid (and thank you for correcting my username. I’m not always so tech friendly),

    I really appreciate you responding. You and I sound a lot alike and I wish you the best on your journey to inspire others through your recovery!

    When I had the time last year to relax and research my disease and such, it was the first time in my life I discovered a newfound confidence. I stumbled across the tinybuddah sight one night, searching for a forum of kind folks who understood my pain and were willing to lend an ear and loving advice. I had reached a point in my recovery where I realized I had no idea who I was anymore – in a good way. I could no longer identify with the pain I had felt for decades. Of course I thought I was going crazy, as it had been years since I felt balanced and happy, so I searched for people who could identify with my struggles and pay it forward in a kind way, as I hope to do for others along the way.

    I had never felt so connected with the Universe, with nature and life, itself. I wanted to share the joy with others and help others find enlightenment as I had, so much so, that I wrote a seven page letter to five major magazines in the Country, as well as Ellen, Oprah and the popular local news radio station, encouraging them to discover ways to spread alcohol awareness to their audience. It’s not telling people to quit drinking – it’s asking to raise awareness to help reduce crime rates and possibly save thousands of lifes a year. Not long after, a drunk driver crashed in to a crowd of pedestrians in my city, killing a few and injuring several others. Bieber also got in trouble for his foolish ways due to addiction. I do believe these things can be prevented if given enough awareness early on in life, rather than just teaching children how to pass a test.

    Addiction nearly destroyed my life, yet I was fortunate to have received a second chance to live this life in a way I was meant to do. Help others. Pay it forward. Love.

    Other than the supportive local radio station, I never heard back from anyone in the media, which is fine, I’m just happy to have begun noticing an increasing awareness in addiction. It’s important to me. Unfortunately, it is still difficult for many close to me to understand my passion to influence in such a broad manner. It is also difficult for them to grasp the true nature of alcoholism. With that said, it does not create a leniency in others to lay off the pressure to get things done on their timeline. Hence the current bind. Pressured in to figuring out real estate or quit altogether and settle.

    My fiance supports my dreams but we do not have the funds for training. We are receiving support from his parents, which also adds enormous amounts of pressure. I am grateful for the assistance, but it makes me ashamed of myself. I have always wanted to give my parents everything and more. I have always supported myself and helped out family and friends when I could. It makes me increasingly uncomfortable, being supported by my future in-laws, as the days turn to months, to over a year. I am spiraling in to hopelessness and dread and can’t seem to get it together when I need to the most.

    I guess you could say it really comes down to fear. Getting stuck doing something I dislike, knowing I could do so much more to help, yet never figuring out just how to break through and stumble across somebody who sees my talent and my purpose. Many people I know do see it all, but it seems in the writing world, in order to get something published, or at the very least, noticed, it’s all about who you know. Thanks to my former career, I know plenty of influential individuals…but no one in that field.

    Do you have any suggestions as to where people can look to submit their creative writing for possible hire? All I seem to find are technical jobs, but nothing in the field I am interested in pursuing.

    Also, has anyone else pursued and reached their dreams of helping others, on a large scale? If so, what steps did you take to acheive this goal?

    Thank you again, for your time and helpful advice!

    #68448
    finsallystrong
    Participant

    Hi Aiyana,

    Thank you for sharing your truth with us. You sound like a wise and accomplished young woman! I especially appreciate you stating that you don’t have to change for anyone. I too, am shy, but I also struggle severely from anxiety and social anxiety. I have had a pretty turbulant life and am still in the process of healing.

    I also share a passion for writing and traveling. I am an artist at heart and I am struggling to find ways to turn my dreams in to a reality. Your post reminded me to focus on discovering my purpose in life. It has been hard to focus though. I seem to have encountered a lot of obstacles along the way and can’t seem to always hold on to my faith, despite how hard I try.

    I appreciate you for your bravery in sharing who you are. I admire your confidence and wish you the very best in the decades to come.

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)