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Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • #156956
    H
    Participant

    Thank you for the advice Anita.

    I simply cannot answer you – If I knew how to access my ‘Emotional Mind’ and solve my problems, I would’ve done so already.

    How do I access it?

    H

    #156716
    H
    Participant

    Mina, Eliana, & Anita – thank you for the input.

    I agree with all you’re saying – I must love myself and be my own best friend. I must be secure and confident with myself if I am going to be able to love someone else and avoid anxiety and stress in my future relationship.

    Mina – you were particularly right about being very attached – I can see myself doing this.

    Eliana – you are very correct, I must be secure and love myself – I need confidence.

    Anita – I meant alone in terms of friends and a relationship. I’ve always had my family to be grateful for, but I would like to find love.

    My question to all of you remains: How do I love myself? How can I feel secure? How do I drop the desperation and neediness for a relationship so that I may attract love into my life. I have read numerous articles on here but I still feel lost.

    Thank you once again.

    #156582
    H
    Participant

    Well done. Sometimes it is difficult to move on completely – but it is required for a peaceful soul.

    Focus on the great things you’ve got going on in your life currently – a new boyfriend, fresh prospects for happiness, and all the other little joys of life.

    One thing I would recommend is doing some ‘Loving Kindness’ meditation – there are some great guided videos on Youtube. It is essentially the idea that you wish people that have hurt you kindness, well-being, and peace. You don’t have to makeup or get back with these people at all – but rather – you allow yourself to feel joy for this person (its quite hard and requires practice, so don’t get bothered if you hate the idea at first) and wish them well on their way onto the next chapter of their lives and thus, you free yourself of the hate and anger you may still hold within you. It’s like a breath of fresh hair on a cold beautiful morning when those feelings are gone.

    Stay beautiful, stay happy, and love life.

    -H

    #146363
    H
    Participant

    Hi Inky,

    Thanks for the thought – but I’d rather undertake the process of finding my soul mate by myself.

    Anita – I would love some advice on how to be lonely and happy at the same time.

     

    #146115
    H
    Participant

    Thank you, Anita.

    I wouldn’t mind if you could please provide some tips for a happier life. You seem quite knowledgeable.

    #146105
    H
    Participant

    Judy,

    Thank you for your kind words – I am in a terrible mood today and reading this put a smile on my face. I have always had an interest in photography (particularly high contrast black and white shots!) and I have a brand new camera sitting at home that I may just use tomorrow.

    I appreciate the optimistic disposition you have shown – particularly in terms of the potentiality of the best people coming in my life. This is a really wise statement. It makes me feel a little happier.

    I will take your advice on continue applying myself to learning all throughout my life. I am starting French classes (tomorrow actually) along with sign language.

    Perhaps one day when I learn to love myself things may change – Do you have any tips in this department? In learning how to love yourself?

    #146079
    H
    Participant

    Thank you for the input Anita.

    I realize that I am my own person – I have the ability to live my own life. Sadly, I believe my value system is far too entrenched in career progression and making the most of my intellect and capabilities.

    Despite my obvious desire for a relationship and friends – in this stage of my life (and perhaps for the entirety of it) – I feel I should focus my self on what I am best at. Women are practically alien to me outside of professional working relationships (which are few) and friends are getting increasingly harder to come across as I age.

    I solemnly believe that some of us were made to live life alone – as time presses on, these desires for love will fade and I will have never experienced something many others take for granted – but I am fine with this.

    Life is but a breeze in the eternity of the universe and one day I will return to a infinite rest with no more pain in my heart. Until then – I will continue doing the only thing that makes me happy – being the best at what I do in my field.

    #145917
    H
    Participant

    More to share:

    I often feel like I have to force myself to put on this nice person persona. Despite the fact that I want to be a good and meaningful person – it often leads to awkwardness and is never fulfilling like I imagine it to be.

    I also have major confidence issues in relation to my physical appearance. Not so much my looks, as opposed to, my height and my constant comparison of my life to others. I am very angry – almost all the time – at things which are insignificant in terms of importance.

    Kat – I appreciate your comment and agree social interactions would have to be made a big priority – however…I find many people uninteresting, dull and stupid (for lack of a better word). I feel as if I cannot connect with people and bring myself down to their level of carelessness – and I would feel guilty if I tried as it would hurt my focus and hunger for progressing career wise. I want to be one of the best at what I  do and I cannot waste my time socializing. I don’t enjoy it to begin with.

     

    #145773
    H
    Participant

    My mother mainly reinforced the notion that women, outside of my own cultural group, are not worth it – they will cheat on me and  leave me. This was pounded into me since early childhood – they still say nowadays I have to marry within my own cultural group (Persian). I greatly disagree with them.

    The relationship between me and my parents is very loving, supportive and great overall – aside from their warped view on women.

    I can never imagine telling my parents I have girlfriend, let alone, bring her home. I would be too embarrassed and would feel uneasy. In this respect, I understand that I am not ready for a relationship until I move out. Current housing prices are restricting me in this sense.

    #145765
    H
    Participant

    My parents are amazing, hard-working and extremely supportive of my dreams and hopes. However, I do attribute my loneliness – in the women department specifically – to them. I was always told to focus on my school work and university as opposed to meeting girls. I was told majority are no good and would cheat on me.

    #145757
    H
    Participant

     

    Hi Anita. I have never. Do you think it is worthwhile to do this? I am greatly against medication of any sort concerning my mental health.

Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)