fbpx
Menu

Tracey

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #115727
    Tracey
    Participant

    Hello

    I can relate with your story and i thought the world was against me and all sorts of other (mind chatter nonsense)as i now call it. Trouble is i started realising that “every” human on this planet has their very own story, even if they are wealthy, attractive, famous or whatever they will still have a problem that eats at their heart and soul.
    Thats when i realised that i was the only person that could actually help ME, i tried for several years to sort through my emotional garbage, backtracking on past events….it got me nowhere, except more miserable.
    I am now reading all i can on Mindfulness, it’s very very hard work and i don’t always do very well at it but i would recommend it as it’s a real eye opener into how our naughty little mind can totally control our living lives and how we can gain some control of it back.
    I feel calmer and less stressed to others behaviour and more patient to situations out of my control and as for Mother Earth, she’s been around alot longer than us and is more powerful than we give her credit for, she will sort us out one way or another.

    #114839
    Tracey
    Participant

    I used to try focus meditation but always seem to end up somewhere else, by that i mean one minute i’ll be focusing on a candle flame or an apple and the next second i find myself in the middle of a forest or sat on a cliff top.
    These places are always new to me but when i try to pull myself back to focus on my object i feel heavy and tired and lose the momentum to actually re-try.
    Maybe i just can’t meditate, i’m good at daydreaming though 🙂

    #114767
    Tracey
    Participant

    Hello

    I also class myself as friendless but it’s not something i worry about or am bothered about, i just don’t think todays society/world is the same place it used to be.
    I do have what i call acquaintances, people i speak to and text ect but close friendships…..no for lots of reasons, some bieng i’m a busy mum/wife, time i do have i value to sit and do what i enjoy and the biggest is trust, how often have you sat and people watched as i call it, listening in to a conversation between 2 people quite happily gossiping about another friend ect, i don’t want to ever be that friend that gets stabbed in the back and gossiped about, been there, got the t-shirt so i’m very happy just to have my family and my Acquaintances and if others frown at that and think i’m anti social or weird, that is their problem not mine.
    I guess the real question is DO YOU want what you term Real friends? or are you happy as you are?

    #114765
    Tracey
    Participant

    Ramy

    Try to remember some things take time, sometimes a long time, I am an ex self harmer, something i did from aged 11. i stopped 9 years ago now but the thoughts still niggle at me, especially in times of stress, I am still finding out about me even after all these years and it’s hardwork ignoring all those nasty voices.
    some days i fly and some days i sink but i look at myself on that day and know i am still better than i used to be and i keep going keep trying.
    Try to stop seeking an ultimate goal of happiness, stop expecting instant results and just focus on your day to day progress.
    I always remember that a wound heals but it leaves a scar and that scar takes time to fade if at all.
    You are doing great, keep telling yourself that and keep going.

    #114410
    Tracey
    Participant

    Hello
    Firstly I hope you and your family are all well and i am glad your Mum is recovering, that in itself is a blessing.
    If i were in your shoes i would also be feeling the same way and i must admit that i would be moving away from those friendships but not in a direct way, i would just remove all the hard work and effort you put into those friendships, sit back and wait to see how they respond and to see if they contact you. I did this recently by removing myself from Facebook, most of my friends said “friendship doesn’t need social media of course we’ll stay in touch” they never have!
    meanwhile i have been spending my time making other friendships, not close ones as i no longer believe that modern society has time for the “sex in the city” type friendships or maybe i’m just too cautious.
    I do believe that not everyone is meant to stay in your life permanently though, that some just pass through, it hurts in the short term but your worth alot more than how they are treating you.

    #114144
    Tracey
    Participant

    Spence
    Having myself said things to others that i have not whole heartedly meant just to keep them happy and not hurt them i can not say for sure her feelings behind the words, only she knows that. But maybe it’s worth looking at why he sets off such powerfully negative emotions within you

    #114140
    Tracey
    Participant

    Hello Spencer
    I know break ups are hard, we’ve all been through them but you have to respect her decision, you can’t decide for her.

    Many years ago after a break up i swooned and followed a guy for many many months, i only ended up hurting myself even more and many years later i caught up with him and asked why he never came back or gave us another chance, his answer stung me to my core, he said ” because i knew you would always be there, you would always take me back” his answer made me feel awful, like a puppy eager to please and i promised myself never to act that way again.
    trouble with relationships is that although you may feel something is right, it doesn’t mean the other person feels the same, every person has their own personal feelings and have the right to decide what is right for them and your ex has done what she feels is right for her…right now.
    It does not mean that she won’t decide she’s made a mistake in the future and want you back but for now you have to respect her decision, be brave and speak politely to her like you would any other person but for now try to accept the situation as it is and look out for new possibilities, because while your focus is on her your missing other potential friendships that may blossom into beautiful things

    #114133
    Tracey
    Participant

    Hello

    One thing that was foremost in my mind when naming my children is that names always get shortened to nicknames, sometimes not in the most pleasant of ways either. so please although the decision is yours and yours alone think of her future when she is at school with children that may or may not understand your reasons for her name.

    #114131
    Tracey
    Participant

    Last night a little stray cat thats been hanging around the area off and on for about a year just walked into our house, i truly believe the Goddess has sent her, for both our sakes. Oh the sorry state of her is appalling she is skin on bone, fur falling out, filthy, battered and was covered in some sticky residue. we gently bathed her, fed her and she is now sitting on my hubbies lap having a wash.
    My lesson in this is i keep looking at her and the look of love she gives us especially my hubby, the whole hearted trust and love, after all she has been through and she still can love and trust.
    the nasty voices in my head have no comments on this and have been left speechless which i think might be a good sign, so i will keep my little notes and hope our furry little friend stays with us, she has already been accepted by my other 5 fur family. And will no doubt help me unlock a door somewhere.
    My husband asked me last night why i don’t like myself and i answered because if i like my body or face ect that is vanity and vanity is bad. I don’t even know where that idea came from.
    Sabrina the only person that can help me solve my problems is myself and i’m against any spells that infinge on another persons freewill

    #114042
    Tracey
    Participant

    Thank you for all your advice, one thing my mind did decide to throw at me today was “Boxes”…..i put emotions, feelings and people into neat, tidy little boxes. If someone I love hurts me i put them in the anger box or a negative box and shut off contact to any positive feelings towards them or that situation. I think this has led to alot of my walls my hubby insists i have and that he can’t get through no matter how much i’ve been asking him to, he states they are solid steel.
    My Mum hurt me alot when i was younger, i fell out with her, i was planning on going to see her after my son was born but she died a week before, i never got to go to her funeral as my son got taken into hospital.
    I am so angry at her for how she treated me yet i love and miss her, the feelings are contradictory and confusing, i feel this way about alot of situations in my life. I’ve no built so many walls filled with so many boxes and i don’t know what to do or where to start.
    Monklet80 your right i have treated myself very badly, very badly indeed, i’m surprised my body is still going but i just don’t know where to start i really don’t.

    #112871
    Tracey
    Participant

    I was like you still am in a way, shy, quiet and introvert, hate clubbing or socialising, hate loud, noisey places, doesn’t make me the most interesting friend but for years i worried and stressed over not having friends.
    Now i don’t care, i have my family and the odd acquaintance that i chat to and i have me, friends like everything else in life come and go, they very rarely stay forever. I think the media and social world put too much emphasis on having friends, you only have to chat to the people that say “oh i have over a thousand friends on facebook” guaranteed they never speak to 3/4 of them or even know them.
    I’m a true believer in things, people, relationships ect find you at the right time not when your looking or trying to hard.
    As for relationships well after my divorce to a very emotionally manipulative man i never thought i’d find anyone especially with my anti-social ways, I found my new husband at the tip (recycling depot) believe it or not! he truley is a treasure found in the most unlikely place and that sums up life…its full of unexpected events in the most unlikely ways and places.

    #112867
    Tracey
    Participant

    You ask “Do you believe in God?”…..which God? I for one believe in the Goddess and her consort the God but then i also believe that ALL Gods are one God (Divine, higher power ect)
    We all travel up different paths on the mountain but the destination is the same.
    Like Anita said we can’t know everything and if there isn’t anything after solid form life then we have nothing to worry about because we will never know, we will just cease to exist.
    My belief keeps me going and motivates me, just like everyone else’s does, no religion is right , no religion is wrong
    religious belief, practices and idols ect are all based on a countries history, culture, living conditions ect which is what makes them all so different, but the heart of all religions is peace, love and harmony and although our bodies and lives are different, our souls, spirit and inner energy is the same. ALL Gods are one God, believe with your heart and soul in something more than bodily form not in mans
    written manuscript, for everything that is written in all religious books is purely chinese whispers.
    belief is felt in the heart

    #112866
    Tracey
    Participant

    Thank you for your help, after much help from the blogs and quotes on this site, which led to much deep inner thinking, i think i may have discovered my own answer to my problem.
    All my life i have been told negative things about life, people and myself and have been badly emotionally manipulated as well
    My Dad and myself are from the type of non-smiley people and have been plagued by others asking “whats up?” or cheer up, it might not happen ect, also i found it hard to accept praise and gifts which led to people asking if i were disappointed or upset. i believe i have grown to believe that my own feelings and responses are inadequate, so ive withdrawn them completely.
    in the past my showy little mask was enough but i have a dad and a lovely husband who can see straight through it, my husband wants me to be me the real me, he says ive been through enough and its time for the real me to stop hiding.
    so i have been trying to find me but until i came across this site i never realised how hard and difficult facing your inner truths could be.
    I’d like to really thank this site, after years of trying to find myself i think im getting really close, not that its going to be easy because the problems we have are littered with truths that most of us do not want to face

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)