Hi there!

Have you tried keeping things in balance? What I mean is, work hard but play hard as well. There is no use working so hard while leaving out relaxation. Feelings like this are sometimes triggered by stress or lack of activities other than your work or your university life. Try getting together with your close friends, go out with them and just enjoy your free time, hang out or even have good conversations over dinner or coffee. Maybe you just lack enough human connection either through communication or just being with others for fun…Cheer up! 😉

Hi Somwan!

You said there are things you don’t know. maybe you don’t need a friend right now. why not try gaining wisdom from books? have you tried that? you will learn a lot of things from there. it will help you understand your world and what’s going on around you. before you can do things in actual, try to gain knowledge about them first. as of the moment, that’s the best i can tell you. i understand that you’re going through so much. so, if people can’t help you, maybe there are books that can explain what you’re going through. try it, okay?

Best Regards,
Iris

hi Christina!

I wish i could ease your pain. but for now, i can only suggest things to do or place to go. try to read some books of healing. a lot of them, especially psych books will help you understand and accept things that might be confusing you right now. you can find answers through them, so someday you can move on and live life fully.

i know that religion actually depends on one’s faith. but if you do have a God, an Allah, just go to church and talk to Him. let it all out. cry it all out. find friends who can really empathize and understand your situation. people who would just listen and help you unload those emotional burden.

and if you haven’t found the right philosophy in life yet, try reading and studying Buddhism. most of the questions i have been asking before were answered by this philosophy.

so there. i hope you can find more ways to cope. only you can pull yourself out of that pit and live again. if there’s a will, there’s a way. God bless you.

Iris

Hey, Alisha!

First off, you said you are in your mid-twenties, perfect time to enjoy singlehood and freedom to whatever you want, go wherever you want and be whoever you want. you’re so young to be thinking you are bound to be single for life. lol!

The right time will come , and the it will the moment you never expect it to happen. Trust me. When you seek it, it’s like you’re chasing it away. You just have to enjoy your freedom being unattached at the moment.

Each of us has preferences. And each preference doesn’t define the other person chosen or not chosen for every relationship. Perhaps the guys you did like for once, don’t prefer your personality, not because you do have a bad one, but because those guys are aiming to find someone that fits the bill. Does this make sense?

It’s like you are looking for a pair of shoes in green color, and all that you see are red ones. No matter how fabulous they are, you don’t just pick a pair, ’cause you prefer a pair of shoes in green color.

Perhaps you have not come across that person who prefers your personality yet. Then while still single, take the time to discover more about yourself, and what personality you prefer among guys. Maybe that will help you bring to the right place where you can meet the guy that is in sync with your personality, or that person who is just as amazing as you. So don’t rush or force things even. Take time and enjoy life.

Iris

Hey!

I know how it feels. feels like you’re dying, right? and i’m sorry for that.

you need to get away from her for a while. stay out of her sight. try hard to avoid everything that may remind you of her. go some place else. it’s the best time to take a break from everything. take a sabbatical and allow yourself to grieve: cry, sulk, feel the pain. purge everything. cry out loud. allow the pain and sorrow to take over till you can’t feel anything anymore. it’s good that you are seeing a counselor. she or he will be a big help.

but i have to remind you of this: nothing is permanent in this world. in the end, it is acceptance that will help you heal. nothing stays the same forever. and you, being young, time is with you at the moment to learn everything you could from this adversity.

been there myself. and it took me five years to really heal and accept that nothing on earth stays the same forever. what i have learned from it is recognizing the realities of this world, and living accordingly.

as long as you’re still alive, you’re gonna get through this. for the time being, you have to go through the pain, with the help of your counselor of course. getting depressed and feeling hatred are very normal. let yourself be. some heal faster, others take the slower route. but the process is normally around 2 to 3 months.

and remember this: we all have the so-called love of our lives at one point or another. some stick together. others grow apart after sometime. relationships aren’t always stable, especially long distance ones. but most often than not, we usually fall for who we are with most of the time. it’s human nature. humans are social beings. and the more we spend time with a person we are interested in, the more chances of falling for that person. but then again, it all depends to the person involved.

at the moment, you would think she’s the only one you ever wanna be with. that’s fine. but to repeat. nothing stays the same forever. you will meet someone again, love again. you just have to open your heart to possibilities. trust me. after a decade, i did fall that hard for someone again. harder than i could ever imagine.

stop looking down at yourself. you should be your own bestfriend, try not to define your worth according to others’ judgment. believe it or not, your girl finding another man has nothing to do with you. people do what they do not because of us, but because of them. there is totally nothing wrong about you. there is no truth to what you have said that you are not good enough for her. what she chose to do about it just revealed who she really is. but then again, people change. all of us do. and the key to live a life less the anxieties of this world is to understand and accept that we cannot hold onto anything forever. and as soon as each of us acknowledge that fact, we can live peacefully knowing fully well that anything can be taken away from us at any moment.

Stay strong. you can get through this.
Iris