fbpx
Menu

Jack

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 1 post (of 1 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #146945
    Jack
    Participant

    My fiancé and I went through something similar at the beginning of our relationship and it still comes up from time to time. He is a very open, emotional person who needs a lot of affection, attention and reassurance to feel that he is loved and valued in a relationship. Unfortunately for him, I am a fairly distant/quiet person who isn’t comfortable expressing feelings. We had many conversations where he would complain that he couldn’t read me, didn’t know where he stood with me because I didn’t know how to open up. I agree with Anita above, the tone in which this conversation is started is huge. If you’ve been letting the resentment build for 6 months before saying anything and then exploded at your boyfriend or laid a heavy guilt trip on him, I’m sure he was even more anxious about being open with you. I have been much more receptive to my fiancé’s requests for affection and emotion when he is gentle and understanding.

    I think you may have to accept that you will both need to compromise on your ideal situation. Your boyfriend may need to put some effort into recognizing and communicating his feelings but you may also need to learn to recognize his own unique ways of showing love. My fiancé told me recently that the Christmas cards and love notes I give him mean so much to him because he knows how hard it is for me to write lovey-dovey stuff. He used to be offended at how stiff and clichéd my love letters sounded but now he can see how hard I am trying to tell him I love him. The effort I put into trying matters more to him than the words themselves. Maybe you can come to that kind of understanding with your boyfriend as well?

Viewing 1 post (of 1 total)