Hello Anita,
I just wanted to tell you, I cut off any conversations. Strictly through text. Though this made him even more absent as a father and his financial obligations as one as well. He left a gift on my doorstep on valentines day but i chose to not get hooked into it.
Thought I may not be dealing with him and his toxicity directly at the moment, I know I am still detoxing from the years of it.
I still feel very alone at times. I still hurt, but it feels like a different kind of hurt now. Hard to explain. I wanted to thank you for your advice. Emotionally it has strengthed me.

Hello Anita,
I really appreciate your insight and response. As it is helping me become more aware. The point you wrote are very true, I am constantly hopelessly wanting him to realize that. As I spent years building him up. I just dont know how to let go. I constantly overthink about it. I have picked up new hobbies and spend time with friends and family. But I feel so alone due to the fact I became so codependent for emotional support that I was willing to take the bare minimum. Also juggling my chaotic life as a single parent while working and going to school. I cant even see dating being in the near future as well. I need to find a balance. I need to be able to let the stress of him go.
Thank you so much!

Hello Anita,
It’s been hard to not just cut his manipulative words off. I think in a sense I want or need to hear it? I know it is incredibly toxic. But I am not over him and still completely in love. It makes no sense for me to be “inlove” with a poisonous person who broke me down- literally I had no more self-worth, self-esteem when I finally left. Well maybe im not in love with him- but an idea of him? I have realize too, I was very codependent in this manipulative relationship.
Thank you

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Kaynah.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Kaynah.

Hello Anita,
Those are really powerful words. I did not see it that way. You are right. I built an image of what I wanted from him and my family. He isnt that. He never was right for us. I still do, i keep wanting him to realize how good I was. At the end of the relationship I had to rebuild my life and myself. I know in time things will be better. Its just the process of getting there. Finding happiness within myself. Not allowing to manipulate me into his games.

Hello Anita,
For example, I will be fine when do not have to speak, only briefly about our child. He will text or call saying how much he loves me and wants a future together, or tell me he will never marry anyone because he is meant to marry me. At this point I’ve have proof and seen he is with other woman already. I know its just lies, but I cant help that it still hurts and makes an impact on my feelings.