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Tom Casano

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  • #33842
    Tom Casano
    Participant

    I’m not a parent, but I read your post anyway and wanted to share my response to see if it’s of any value to you.

    From my perspective, the break ups with him have caused you a lot of sadness, hurt, and feeling bad.  When you lean on your parents for support, they REALLY feel your suffering and pain — something no parent wants for their child.  They associate your sadness and hurt with your boyfriend, because this is the source of it, right?  The breakups?

    So from my eyes, I can understand how they might feel if they hear you bringing him up… because they associate his name with the cause of your sadness.  I don’t know the full story, but that’s just what I see.

    Hope that sheds a little light 🙂

    #33841
    Tom Casano
    Participant

    When I feel overwhelmed (or stressed), at the moment that I feel that way I take 10 deep, deep breaths.  This usually takes me just a minute or two — like as deep as I can possibly inhale, and then let it all out, 10 times.  This helps to reset the nervous system, as when we’re more stressed or feeling overwhelmed, our breathing tends to become more shallow, which means less oxygen to the brain, and less well-being.

    A quick 5-10 minute meditation also helps me to get centered and relieve some of that anxiety. And often I might have a little insight about what I need to prioritize, what I need to just let go of, and what I can outsource (for $3-$10/hr) or delegate to someone else.

    I like to take a preventative approach… That is, if I’m getting overwhelmed, maybe there’s more on my plate than is optimal in my life… even if I’m trying to accomplish a lot.

    My favorite insight is to realize that it’s not about doing more or working a lot…

    It’s all about being the most effective with the least amount of effort.

    Bigger results with less input.  Can I line things up so that more gets done while I work less?

    Hope that helps Lori. 🙂

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