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March 31, 2017 at 10:46 am #143091
lonedoveParticipantAwesome thank you for your response. Where can I find your daily posts? And do you have a you tube channel or some where where you post some of your own material?
I love discovering new music/aspiring artists and listening to acoustic type music.
🙂
March 30, 2017 at 8:45 pm #143041lonedoveParticipantIt sounds like you have an amazing handle or perspective on the whole situation as difficult as it may be. I think for myself I have been giving distance sans the very mature discussion (that you had with your potential) I’ve been practicing vulnerability this month in the tiny buddah love challenges, but my interest has been away a lot for work this month, with not a lot of contact and as I said, I myself have been work swamped so I am just sitting with it for now and not pushing the envelope because that is my normal pattern (that is pushing the envelope is my normal pattern so I’ m trying a different approach). Also I am in the same boat as you in that I would like to know mine more before fully committing. So I figure I’ll just let be what will be and I still believe if someone (or a guy/girl of romantic interest) wants to talk to they will. They will make time. When they are in the right place, frame of mind etc they will do it and when they aren’t they don’t do it. I wish you the best and let’s keep updated.
signed
always a sucker for a good love storyMarch 30, 2017 at 8:20 pm #143037lonedoveParticipantYou say that he came up with a solution that you later realized wouldn’t work for you. Do you feel comfortable to share what that was? It must have been difficult to bring up the issue and put yourself in a vulnerable position putting your feelings out there. I admire your courage. It can be hard to let go when it’s something we want, but you are correct in that both must want it, but both must also be ready, in the “right” place. Often difficult to make both connections these days. Will you remain friends or limit contact now?
March 30, 2017 at 7:52 pm #143025lonedoveParticipantHi Samantha,
I am curious to know how things are going. If you found yourself in a solid place of compassion to have that discussion yet? I was or am very much in a similar situation, but I also had the realization I don’t have the time atm to fully commit to a relationship either so I am waiting it out. Love to hear how things are going for you.
March 8, 2017 at 7:13 pm #137717lonedoveParticipantYes! Total sense. I’m slowly learning more about Buddhism….I’m not sure I understand the Buddhist ego completely. Would you be so kind as to enlighten me a little or point me in direction of some reading resources on this subject?
March 8, 2017 at 4:02 pm #137667lonedoveParticipantIt’s funny your last sentence caught me because I think not being vulnerable is something I worked very hard at not being for so long…. to be vulnerable doesn’t always feel “authentic” (actually this was part of the struggle in the beginning of these challenges).
Like I’m trying to be someone I’m not, but guess what this challenge (as a whole 365 days) is about change and being better, being true to our inner self, not the self we want to project, or the self we “think ” we are. So I told my ego and my superego to scram and come back another day. Id wants to play. (Okay terrible Freud reference, clearly joking) But I hope you get my point. So in the end does discussing it here does help. Thank you 🙂
March 8, 2017 at 1:05 pm #137655lonedoveParticipantOh yeah no I would never post that on Facebook about abortion, not a “safe” forum, amongst many other reasons!! Definitely would not, would not!!!!
Sorry I meant the part about authenticity
” [a challenging month so far, I’ve discovered I despise being vulnerable and generally have learned to guard myself quite well, all while still managing to cultivate fairly close relationships, however always feeling like there was a hole. I’ve discovered the gap or key element missing might be authenticity, but I have also discovered when we are our authentic selves it can often make others uncomfortable. Then come the well meaning, yet often unhelpful or damaging comments, it’s not worth crying over, just let it go, but so often part of the process of letting it go is feeling validated in our feelings. So thus we learn to hide our true selves little by little, maybe in part for self preservation, maybe in part for other’s “comfortableness” ]
Some less harsh version of that 🙂
March 8, 2017 at 12:47 pm #137653lonedoveParticipantOh yeah no I would never post that on Facebook about abortion, not a “safe” forum, amongst many other reasons!! Definitely would not, would not!!!!
Sorry I meant the part about authenticity and what I feel blocks my own authenticity ( the part in the second post in my reply and thanks to you)
Some less harsh version of that 🙂
March 8, 2017 at 12:05 pm #137639lonedoveParticipantThanks for your response. 🙂 It’s been a challenging month so far, I’ve discovered I despise being vulnerable and generally have learned to guard myself quite well, all while still managing to cultivate fairly close relationships, however always feeling like there was a hole. I’ve discovered the gap or key element missing might be authenticity, but I have also discovered when we are our authentic selves it can often make others uncomfortable. Then come the well meaning, yet often unhelpful or damaging comments, it’s not worth crying over, just let it go, but so often part of the process of letting it go is feeling validated in our feelings. So thus we learn to hide our true selves little by little, maybe in part for self preservation, maybe in part for other’s “comfortableness” . So I always try to encourage those who post real feelings, real life stories on Facebook…….And now I think I will be able to complete March 11 challenge….. in re-posting some version of this on social media.
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