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Neriza

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    Neriza
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    Hi Maj, I wonder how you feeling right now and I want to know how you coped up. But I just want to share my story as I am currently lost with what happened to my so called “relationship.” So I had this Indian guy as my friend for 10 months. We were both cheated by our exes that’s why our common friend thought of introducing us to each other. My first intention was to unbreak my heart from my then 6-year relationship so decided to date him as a form of rebound. He told me at first that he has nothing to give to me and he cannot commit. Everything was clear at first. Without knowing, as we continuously communicate I didn’t notice that I was falling for him already that’s why when I get attached to him I tried to stop the friendship that we had. But I did promised him that I wouldn’t want to be the reason for breaking a friendship that’s why I decided to continue. I have been stopping myself all along whenever I feel like needing a real boyfriend’s attention because I know in the first place where I stand in his life. It was a roller coaster feeling for, but I took it as challenge. I want to use the reverse psychology technique wherein I would always be there for him even if I feel like giving up with a hope that he will return the same affection. But he was just so hard to the point that he speaks differently from his acts. I know during that time he’s been loving me secretly. Until the last two weeks came and things would just turned out differently. We were going out always and he’s becoming caring and sweet. I did wonder, it was different set-up from our casual dating. So I asked him if he is seeing another girl, he answered no. I demanded him not to see anyone but me while we’re still communicating. Then that’s the only time he told me that his parents has already chosen the girl that he will marry. He told me that he can’t say no his mom because she is sick and he wants to make her happy before she dies. He told me that he loves me during that time. He even asked me what are we gonna do. He broke my heart when he said that. I asked him if he could marry me. All he said is that he cannot take me to his life. I want to believe that he just love me that he doesn’t want me to enter his chaotic life based on the story of his family he shared to me in the course of our friendship/relationship period. But we all know that it would never be fair on my side. I came to a point that I would want to spend with him my remaining days in this country where we are both working. Yes I decided to go to my home country not only because of him but because of my family whom I am faraway with in the past 5 years of my life. Later on, I realized that it’s gonna be stupid to be happy with him at the moment knowing that it will just worsen what we are both feeling towards each other. We had our closure. He told me that I had been his girlfriend and he will never forget me. I want to thank him for helping me forget my ex, but I want to get mad at him for not fighting for me. I don’t want to believe that he didn’t love me. But I guess, letting him go would be the best decision I could ever done for my lovelife. I deserve better. Someone who can give me the same love I am giving. Now, I am coping with it positively but still there are nights that I am feeling so empty asking God why did I had to meet him if he would just only break my heart once again.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by Neriza.
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