• Dear wildoceanflower:

    You wrote: “I used to have a friend who contacted me when she had achieved things: career, promotion, bought a house, marriage, baby all in that order… I felt she was making herself feel better by seeing I wasn’t getting anywhere”-

    notice: if career promotion, buying a house, getting marriage, having a baby (and all in…[Read more]

  • Dear Azouz:

    By the “relationship I was involved with”- you mean with the virtual girlfriend, the object of your obsession, correct?

    This is what I think of this relationship, ongoing interactions and ruminations- it is an obsession. If I read any more about it and replied to you about it, I would be encouraging this obsession of yours. That will…[Read more]

  • Dear Dorothy:

    Like you wrote, you could write books about your life experience.

    Maybe the rich brother doesn’t want to see you because you remind him of his crimes, crimes of cheating you (and other siblings) out of money… Maybe that is not his motivation.  I don’t know. In any case, better stop chasing him for get-togethers.

    As you know all…[Read more]

  • Dear Dorothy:

    You are welcome.

    Your father started a restaurant in 1945- the ending year of world war 2. And he started a family. He transferred the restaurant to only one of his sons. And he sold  it- and its history- to a stranger. And the money is all his. Your mother transferred the rest of the resources to the same brother. All this in a s…[Read more]

  • Dear Jen:

    Can you extend the lease and stay where you are currently living for a month or two after he moves out for his job? Or, if not possible, maybe you can rent a room for a month or two in the same city?

    This way, you can buy some time to figure things out: you can continue your job, research the city he moved to, contact employers and so…[Read more]

  • Dear Azouz:

    You only saw this woman in person one time, during one short visit this January. Otherwise, she is your virtual/ computer girlfriend. you are very involved in her life, on a  micro-management level. I think you are not well, Azouz. I state this with genuine concern. Please seek competent psychotherapy.

    This relationship is not…[Read more]

  • Dear yogagrl:

    The title of your thread: “Will men ever regret ending a relationship?”- some men regret ending some relationships, others don’t. What you meant to ask is: will your ex boyfriend regret ending the relationship with you.

    How can anyone reading your thread answer this question? I can’t because I don’t know him. Strangely, neither do…[Read more]

  • Dear Dorothy:

    I can understand your obsessing about your brother who is doing so well financially, comfortably retired with millions of dollars after he sold the restaurant, while you are in financial debt, don’t own your home and are unhappily married. You lack financial comfort and social support.

    I have three questions so to understand your…[Read more]

  • Dear Rudy:

    Best attend competent therapy. What you share there is confidential. I don’t feel comfortable responding further to your post because of certain inconsistencies and a certain wording you used: “my sister no doubt doesn’t remember this (or care)”- seems to me that you are suggesting that if she knew about it,  she wouldn’t care- suc…[Read more]

  • anita replied to the topic Confused with love. in the forum Relationships 1 day, 1 hour ago

    Dear Azouz:

    My mother raised me as a single mother. She didn’t date men but one time, it was dark, and she was with a man in the room, the door was closed. I picked through the key hole of the door to that room. They were both dressed and nothing was going on except that hug, they were embraced in a hug. I still remember the pain and shock I…[Read more]

  • Dear Chau:

    I believe so: it is because you climbed up from the bottom, that you accumulated your wisdom. The wisdom you discovered- you practiced. Nothing you were told was of any value except that you practiced it, and discovered for yourself what works and what does not.

    All aspects of this delightful post is evidence of your wisdom and…[Read more]

  • * Dear Steve:Looking forward to your own thread-


  • anita replied to the topic Confused with love. in the forum Relationships 1 day, 3 hours ago

    Dear Azouz:

    You met her in person one time only, January of this year. A short visit, I assume… The entire relationship was long distance, through social media.

    I asked you about your mother. You said you told her you “have no interest in discussing” her personal affairs- is it because she used to tell you her personal affairs? Did she share…[Read more]

  • anita replied to the topic On the Scrapheap?? in the forum Work 1 day, 3 hours ago

    Dear Bubble:

    I did not have a similar experience in the workplace, and I never became a mother. I hope someone who does have these experiences will answer you. If you have any question or request for input that I can give you as neither a mother nor a highly educated, unemployed individual as you, let me know.


  • anita replied to the topic Confused with love. in the forum Relationships 1 day, 4 hours ago

    Dear Azouz:

    Most of the interactions with her were long distance. You met her in person this last January- was that for the first time?

    Part of your attitude toward her is fitting a parent toward a child, and this is why she asked you permission to go clubbing. You took on a parental role. Although later, at  least in January of this year, if…[Read more]

  • anita replied to the topic Life question in the forum Emotional Mastery 1 day, 4 hours ago

    Dear Harry:

    Welcome back to the Forums. You wrote that you feel alone, that you haven’t seen your family for a long time and that phone conversations with them don’t make you feel less alone. This reminds me of the long car drive you had late last year, with your mother and was it a sister…? And how alone you felt in their presence. You wrote…[Read more]

  • anita posted a new activity comment 1 day, 5 hours ago

    Dear sravani:

    I just noticed this update (after reading your more recent update and replying to it, above). You used the verb “scold” – I am not clear what you mean by it. Can you explain? Also what do you mean by “(he) FORCED me to date”?


  • anita posted a new activity comment 1 day, 5 hours ago

    Dear sravani:
    For as long as you consider such a drastic measure, please contact a hospital, a clinic, a person who will take you there, the police, perhaps, and get yourself the professional help that you need as soon as possible.

    I am not such a professional, and no one in these Forums is acting like one, qualified to deal with people…[Read more]

  • Dear Sameer:

    Regarding anger, impatience, behavior in the workplace: as you already observed, things are not like they should be. Inefficiency, dishonesty/ politics, personal issues, all these make for very frustrating dynamics for a person who expects things to work like they should: efficiently, honestly, fairly.

    First adjustment: stop…[Read more]

  • Dear Sameer:

    To attempt answering your question: “Why so many negative emotions in me?”- got to give specifics of those emotions. Would you like to specify them? Also, have some of these negative emotions independent of your professional life, existing from before it?



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