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anita

  • Dear wohochi:

    If she is mean to you, please, have no relationship with her. It is not to your benefit to have a relationship with a person who is mean to you.

    anita

  • anita posted a new activity comment 7 hours, 19 minutes ago

    Dear Samy Higgin:

    The people in that family-of-origin layer who are still alive, by peeling of that layer I mean: if you are still interacting with them, do not spend any minute in time being submissive or accommodating to them. Any and every minute you submit yourself, act nice, still betray yourself that way so to keep peace, or keep…[Read more]

  • You are welcome, randyg. Looking forward to reading the beginning of your suggested discussion.
    anita

  • Dear wohochi:

    How are you afraid that you will be “blocking her happiness”?

    anita

  • Dear Annie:

    I thought I responded to your thread of two days ago, yet I don’t see my reply here… strange, to me.

    Congratulations, Annie, for standing up to abuse and moving out. And then, you met new people, worked and about to start a new job. It is good to read a good story!

    My hat is off to you for doing these things!

    anita

  • anita replied to the topic Dividing opinions in the forum Tough Times 21 hours, 40 minutes ago

    Dear mrmoonhead:

    With no reference on my part to politics-

    Your question is: :how do you convince people with hateful beliefs to approach their problems with kindness?”
    In other words: how do you convince hateful people to be kind?

    How much violence, how many wars, how much abuse can be eliminated if someone had the answer to this question. An…[Read more]

  • Dear randyg:

    I hope you are enjoying the walk on the beach. I read your note to me above.

    If you have a specific question for me, let me know what it is. Otherwise, share all you want on this thread and on any new thread you may choose to start in the future.

    anita

  • Dear wohochi:

    She has a boyfriend already, another young man who loves her and she loves him. Better not hang out with her for as long as she has a boyfriend.

    Would you not like a girlfriend who is only your girlfriend? I wouldn’t want to share a girlfriend, if I was you.

    anita

  • Dear wabc:

    You are welcome. Post anytime, if it makes you feel better. Do remind yourself, when distressed and despairing- none of this is permanent. What a relief as this and this… all these feelings will be no more. Live here and now, one moment, one day at a time.

    anita

  • anita posted a new activity comment 1 day, 6 hours ago

    Dear Samy Higgin:

    I think your distress is multi-layered, like an onion that has layers, got to peel off one layer at a time, to undo the confusion. One layer is your relationships, past and present, with your original family members. Another layer is your relationship with your husband, and yet another layer is your relationship with your…[Read more]

  • anita replied to the topic Am I A Cheater? in the forum Relationships 1 day, 7 hours ago

    Dear Jamie:

    You wrote: “I am confused whether I should block him… or stay and hope for him to wake up”-

    I say: you, dear Jamie, you wake up.

    His “insults and down-grading comments” are not for you to get over; they are for you to block. It should not be up to him to make your life insults-free. It should be up to you to block the source of…[Read more]

  • Dear royal:

    It reads to me that you are doing the reasonable thing by moving on, that your thinking is correct: clearly, to move this relationship forward, one of you would have to relocate and the two of you will need to live together as a monogamous couple. He is not ready- was not ready five years ago, four years ago… a year ago, and…[Read more]

  • Dear Poppy:

    You are welcome. “To heal the people pleaser/fixer in (you) so” to put yourself first instead of others, find opportunities in your day to day life (and no opportunity is too small; every opportunity is significant!) to practice doing just that, in a practical way. For example, saying this to a person, or not doing that… be aware of…[Read more]

  • anita replied to the topic Am I A Cheater? in the forum Relationships 1 day, 7 hours ago

    Dear Jamie:

    Before two kisses with another man, your boyfriend insulted and disrespected you many times. So, first there were insults and disrespect. Stop there- insults and disrespect is unacceptable in a relationship. So whether you are a cheater (title of your thread) is not relevant, in my mind, because I am not passed the…[Read more]

  • anita replied to the topic Lost in the forum Emotional Mastery 1 day, 7 hours ago

    Dear manii:

    To unlearn that “standard of success” that you were taught growing up, it needs to be examined first for any truth in it, if any. To do so, will you state/ explain that standard-of-success here?

    anita

  • Dear randyg:

    I re-read some of your writings and am more awake this morning to understand better:

    You asked: “is this a place where people like me (ESer’s) can share their insight and wisdom with each other pushing for a better understanding of what we seek?… I simply want to know if this is a forum where we can talk about ES, while allowing t…[Read more]

  • Dear randyg:

    You wrote: “lets acknowledge that this forum is like a journal, with the intent of being able to write honest, yet positive thoughts with the possibility someone, be it yourself or others just might respond when they can, if that’s ok?”- do post anytime you would like. I will reply to you every time I am at the computer and see t…[Read more]

  • Dear Niyata:

    When you feel distressed, your heart beating fast, your breathing shallow, slow down. Sit somewhere comfortably, or lie down, and say to yourself: shhhh…it’s okay. I am okay. Slow down your breathing, inhale slowly, exhale slowly. Sh… it’s okay. “I can take good care of myself. I am okay.”

    When you are lonely and depressed, put…[Read more]

  • Dear randyg:

    I think it is wise for you to be selective as to whom you associate with, online and in person. Always stay away from abusive people, online and otherwise.

    My policy here, on this website, is if a member posting is clearly disrespectful (same as abusive, to one degree or another) toward me, I state so to the person and no longer…[Read more]

  • Dear wohochi:

    Does your ex girlfriend have a new boyfriend now, the one that she loves?

    anita

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