BTW I would strongly recommend starting with the book or audiobook from Dr. Claire Weekes called Hope and help for your nerves as a source to get you body and mind off high alert so the personal dumpster dive can begin.

Zach,

I relate to what you are saying. I had created the worst horror movie inside my head that played for years. It involved death and all things horrific. This stemmed from extreme anxiety and my fear I was crazy. As you have likely heard/read these awful things don’t come to fruition but it can be hard to see the forest for the trees. I can tell you that I haven’t had such thoughts in years and there are ways to move forward. Glad to hear you are working with a therapist. Resolving your fears and anxiety takes more than advice and what can we dealt with in this forum. But I can tell you to be courageous, face your fears, never back down from fear. The solution to panic and fear lies on the other side of fear. Of course this is easier said than done. Reach out if you wish a private chat. I’ve assisted several friends with various levels of anxiety and panic. This is not a business, I like to help folks who are suffering like I once was. Chin up, don’t give fear so much power. I look back and smile as I now clearly see it was all a dream. And the anxiety and panic woke me up to become the person I was meant to be and free….It was a message from within. The greatest gift I ever got. Sounds crazy eh?