Menu

Peter

  • I liked your post as its something I think we need to be reminded us.
    Anita is right there are unhealthy “dreams’ or hopes/fantasy that should not be held onto however I don’t think that is what you meant.

    When I think of the inner child I think of eyes made for wonder… eyes still open to wonder.

    You reminded me of something I read a few years…[Read more]

  • I liked your post as its something I think we need to be reminded us.
    Anita is right there are unhealthy “dreams’ or hopes/fantasy that should not be held onto however I don’t think that is what you meant.

    When I think of the inner child I think of eyes made for wonder… eyes still open to wonder.

    You reminded me of something I read a few years…[Read more]

  • I liked your post as its something I think we need to be reminded us.
    Anita is right that some unhealthy “dreams’ or is it a hopes/fantasy should not be held onto however I don’t think that is what you meant.

    When I think of the inner child I think of eyes made for wonder or still open to wonder.

    You reminded me of something I read a few years…[Read more]

  • Thank you for posting. I relate to your story

    Something I noted when reading your post

    I’ve been seeing a therapist but don’t feel like she or anyone gets the depth of the abuse I’ve endured and what it’s doing to me.

    I had the same experience. In hindsight for some reason I wanted my therapist to acknowledge my hurt, which he did in a way, ju…[Read more]

  • You may find the following book helpful
    When Love Meets Fear: How to Become Defense-less and Resource-full – David Richo

    Early fear was felt cellularly and was indeed real. Defensive postures were necessary, but defenses generalize cellularly in adulthood and do not expire. It takes conscious work to undo them. Ironically, as long as we keep…

    [Read more]

  • You may find the following book helpful
    When Love Meets Fear: How to Become Defense-less and Resource-full – David Richo

    Early fear was felt cellularly and was indeed real. Defensive postures were necessary, but defenses generalize cellularly in adulthood and do not expire. It takes conscious work to undo them. Ironically, as long as we keep…

    [Read more]

  • At the end of a relationship it is likely you will question such concepts as happiness, love… if only to make sense of your experiences. You will be torn between acceptance and bitterness.

    I know as part of the process it will feel as if your whole experience with this man was a lie.
    But that is not likely true. It is possible to continue t…[Read more]

  • Same.
    For me my body does not function very well if I’m even 10 pounds overweight and I let it get to 40 pounds!
    My thinking of my wight and food as I tried to lose it became obsessive.

    To lose the weight I had to learn how to make the obsession work for me.

    I did this by being real honest about what I was eating and why, writing down…[Read more]

  • Same. For me my body does not function very well if I’m even 10 pounds overweight and I let it get to 40 pounds overweight!
    My thinking of my wight and food as I tried to lose it became obsessive.

    to lose the wight I had to learn how to make the obsession work for me. I did this by being real honest about what I was eating and why, writing down…[Read more]

  • Why did he tell you that “he loves me more then anything and misses me like crazy and how he thinks of me every min” right before he said the above?

    It is surprising how little the role of the ‘idea of Love’ plays in a discussion to end a relationships or not.
    Two people can authentically love each other and still have the relationship end.

    W…[Read more]

  • Why did he tell you that “he loves me more then anything and misses me like crazy and how he thinks of me every min” right before he said the above?

    It is surprising how little the role of the ‘idea of Love’ plays in a discussion to end a relationships or not.
    Two people can authentically love each other and still have the relationship end.

    W…[Read more]

  • You have made me realize that it’s very important to try and understand why introverts act the way that they do.

    In my opinion that is indeed a key step in what some call – Learning the ‘love language’ of our partner.
    (and of course your partner needs to understand your tenancy to be a extrovert)

  • I’m panicking about the life ahead of me

    Living in the imagined future of what if and fear… I know it well.
    Some cognitive advice – try paying attention to when you cross the line from planning for your future to living in the future of what if ‘the sky is falling’.

    From my own experience, in hind sight, all my worries I had as a stude…[Read more]

  • It is not unusual for Introverts and extroverts to be attracted to each other. The difference ways in experiencing the world complement each other and lead to individual growth and so can be a gift. – There is a time for all things.

    Both introverts and extroverts are challenged to reframe their view of their partner from judgment and resentment f…

    [Read more]

  • I think myself as selfish but I am willing to sacrifice anything for people who can pass my “test”

    I’ve never been found of the idea of “the test”. Perhaps due to my own experience of a girlfriend to which everything became a test. Being human it was inevitable that I failed but not until l my sense of self was totally confused.

    Perhaps…[Read more]

  • No apologies required. It can be very helpful to write what were thinking and feeling without restraint or judgments.

    Actually writing without making judgments about it might be a good practice for you.
    One your done you could go over what you have written and look for the ways in which you have ‘measured’ and labeled your experiences.

    Ask…[Read more]

  • How do I un-attach

    I think you un-attach when you recognize that in some way you will always be a part of each other’s stories. I don’t believe that to be a contradiction. Trying to forget, or pretend otherwise just makes the attachments stronger.

    In a way after a break up it is memory that we are attached to. Memory not just of the past exp…[Read more]

  • Peter replied to the topic To argue or not to in the forum Relationships 1 week, 6 days ago

    A conversation about the music industry that lead to such anger and hurt feelings was as you suspected likely not about a difference of opinion about the music industry. Just at the argument about taking out the garbage is never really about taking out the garbage.

    In relationships we often create conditions for issue to arise that we are at…[Read more]

  • Peter replied to the topic To argue or not to in the forum Relationships 1 week, 6 days ago

    A conversation about the music industry that lead to such anger and hurt feelings was as you suspected likely not about a difference of opinion about the music industry. Just at the argument about taking out the garbage is never really about taking out the garbage.

    In relationships we often create conditions for issue to arise that we are at…[Read more]

  • Peter replied to the topic To argue or not to in the forum Relationships 1 week, 6 days ago

    A conversation about the music industry that lead to such anger and hurt feelings was as you suspected likely not about a difference of opinion about the music industry. Just at the argument about taking out the garbage is never really about taking out the garbage.

    In relationships we often create conditions for issue to arise that we are at…[Read more]

  • Load More