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Peter

  • Peter replied to the topic Trying To Find Meaning in the forum Relationships 1 week, 3 days ago

    Whats love got to do with it? Everything yet love does not mean a relationship is meant to last.

    Have you seen the movie La La Land? sometimes relationships are not meant for that ending we might have imagined. Fate Destiny…  and or does Life  demand that we grow of which relationships are a tool, and that sometimes the lessons we need to lea…[Read more]

  • If I could go back in time I would change my entire self/life.

    A common hope that many people have… if only, what if… replaying the past over and over perhaps fantasizing that just maybe, if subconsciously, that maybe if I just ‘remember… re-remember’ it better I might change it. But what really happens is that you end up re-experi…[Read more]

  • If I could go back in time I would change my entire self/life.

    A common hope that many people have… if only, what if… replaying the past over and over perhaps fantasizing that just maybe, if subconsciously, that maybe if I just ‘remember… re-remember’ it better I might change it. But what really happens is that you end up re-experi…[Read more]

  • “The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you’ll never have.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

    I wish I had words that might save you from having to go through this painful experience… You must trust your intuition.

    I had a similar experience, only I was the one who had the problem with committing and my girlfr…[Read more]

  • “Real love sometimes means saying goodbye.” Bryant McGill,

    Love doesn’t require you to continue a relationship.
    You may love someone very much, but you may not be compatible with them. Or they may drive you crazy with their continued disregard for your feelings. You can still love them, but that doesn’t mean you have to be with them. Love doesn’t…[Read more]

  • I should have this all figured out by now but I don’t. How do I accept happiness and feel worthy of it?

    I have yet to meet anyone who has “all this figured out”

    How do I accept happiness and feel worthy of it?
    We must work for that which no work is required

    That might sound like a contradiction but it isn’t. In order to get to a place in whic…[Read more]

  • Peter replied to the topic Lessons from La La Land in the forum Work 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    I also thought the movie had a lot to say about the reality of relationship and the role that love plays.

    I found that as an observer to what on the surface was an old-time Hollywood musical, that I wanted the Hollywood la la land ending. I wanted Mia and Sebastian to have it all. I wanted their experience of love not only to inspire and push…[Read more]

  • I liked your post as its something I think we need to be reminded us.
    Anita is right there are unhealthy “dreams’ or hopes/fantasy that should not be held onto however I don’t think that is what you meant.

    When I think of the inner child I think of eyes made for wonder… eyes still open to wonder.

    You reminded me of something I read a few years…[Read more]

  • I liked your post as its something I think we need to be reminded us.
    Anita is right there are unhealthy “dreams’ or hopes/fantasy that should not be held onto however I don’t think that is what you meant.

    When I think of the inner child I think of eyes made for wonder… eyes still open to wonder.

    You reminded me of something I read a few years…[Read more]

  • I liked your post as its something I think we need to be reminded us.
    Anita is right that some unhealthy “dreams’ or is it a hopes/fantasy should not be held onto however I don’t think that is what you meant.

    When I think of the inner child I think of eyes made for wonder or still open to wonder.

    You reminded me of something I read a few years…[Read more]

  • Thank you for posting. I relate to your story

    Something I noted when reading your post

    I’ve been seeing a therapist but don’t feel like she or anyone gets the depth of the abuse I’ve endured and what it’s doing to me.

    I had the same experience. In hindsight for some reason I wanted my therapist to acknowledge my hurt, which he did in a way, ju…[Read more]

  • Peter replied to the topic Looking for Healthy Love in the forum Relationships 1 month ago

    You may find the following book helpful
    When Love Meets Fear: How to Become Defense-less and Resource-full – David Richo

    Early fear was felt cellularly and was indeed real. Defensive postures were necessary, but defenses generalize cellularly in adulthood and do not expire. It takes conscious work to undo them. Ironically, as long as we keep…

    [Read more]

  • Peter replied to the topic Looking for Healthy Love in the forum Relationships 1 month ago

    You may find the following book helpful
    When Love Meets Fear: How to Become Defense-less and Resource-full – David Richo

    Early fear was felt cellularly and was indeed real. Defensive postures were necessary, but defenses generalize cellularly in adulthood and do not expire. It takes conscious work to undo them. Ironically, as long as we keep…

    [Read more]

  • At the end of a relationship it is likely you will question such concepts as happiness, love… if only to make sense of your experiences. You will be torn between acceptance and bitterness.

    I know as part of the process it will feel as if your whole experience with this man was a lie.
    But that is not likely true. It is possible to continue t…[Read more]

  • Same.
    For me my body does not function very well if I’m even 10 pounds overweight and I let it get to 40 pounds!
    My thinking of my wight and food as I tried to lose it became obsessive.

    To lose the weight I had to learn how to make the obsession work for me.

    I did this by being real honest about what I was eating and why, writing down…[Read more]

  • Same. For me my body does not function very well if I’m even 10 pounds overweight and I let it get to 40 pounds overweight!
    My thinking of my wight and food as I tried to lose it became obsessive.

    to lose the wight I had to learn how to make the obsession work for me. I did this by being real honest about what I was eating and why, writing down…[Read more]

  • Why did he tell you that “he loves me more then anything and misses me like crazy and how he thinks of me every min” right before he said the above?

    It is surprising how little the role of the ‘idea of Love’ plays in a discussion to end a relationships or not.
    Two people can authentically love each other and still have the relationship end.

    W…[Read more]

  • Why did he tell you that “he loves me more then anything and misses me like crazy and how he thinks of me every min” right before he said the above?

    It is surprising how little the role of the ‘idea of Love’ plays in a discussion to end a relationships or not.
    Two people can authentically love each other and still have the relationship end.

    W…[Read more]

  • You have made me realize that it’s very important to try and understand why introverts act the way that they do.

    In my opinion that is indeed a key step in what some call – Learning the ‘love language’ of our partner.
    (and of course your partner needs to understand your tenancy to be a extrovert)

  • I’m panicking about the life ahead of me

    Living in the imagined future of what if and fear… I know it well.
    Some cognitive advice – try paying attention to when you cross the line from planning for your future to living in the future of what if ‘the sky is falling’.

    From my own experience, in hind sight, all my worries I had as a stude…[Read more]

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