The recent post on appreciation really resonated with me but it left me in tears because none of my efforts to reach my partner were successful. I needed support and I said so, and she withdrew. I helped and supported her through finishing her degrees and getting a new job, and I spoke honestly and openly with her about the distance between us. I apologized for my failures and I forgave her for hers, and she left — first emotionally and then literally – turning herself toward someone else who would allow her to be the center of everything. I am alone and managing the fall out with my daughters, whose biological father was abusive. I’m struggling while she enjoys her new life. I believe I have a lot to offer in a couple but keep attracting people who don’t have the skills or motivation to fully participate. I wanted to leave 3 years ago, but felt afraid and wanted to honor my commitment. Everything I feared came to pass anyway, and I lost years of my life. Although I am healthier now that she’s gone, I’m still incredibly sad, and my confidence has been shaken. Do not bring a child into any relationship drama! Mine are nearly grown and have a good life, but their step-mother’s leaving destroyed us.