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Shawna

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    Shawna
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    This is absolutely beautiful, insightful advice. I completely appreciate your response. I struggled with this issue as well with my ex boyfriend, and ultimately made the decision to separate myself. The communication and intimacy had completely stopped, he eventually ceased getting help, and drugs and alcohol became heavily involved. It got to the point where it seemed the problem was over my head, my happiness was completely compromised, and was completely absorbed with helping him and often enabling him, and not taking care of myself. I still beat myself up over making the decision to leave him and this problem. Reading this even made me feel like something could’ve been done differently on my behalf to help him. There’s a blurred line between what’s best for you, what’s best for the other person, and what’s best for your relationship, and how all three can work in harmony. Your advice is completely sound, in my opinion, on what you can do for the other person while keeping true to yourself. You can’t change them, but hopefully help them suffer less. I’m in a healing process from that relationship so it won’t be soon, but in my next relationship I hope to be more enlightened and healthy to be able to focus more on the “we” than the individual parts of the problem. Thanks again for this.

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