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Shelly

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Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • #96549
    Shelly
    Participant

    That is good to know! I have been wanting to get into yoga as well as some other natural practices that may help with anxiety.

    #96466
    Shelly
    Participant

    I didn’t know that was an option. Thank you!

    #96464
    Shelly
    Participant

    As ElleTinker700 said, hair is fixable! If you are able to get to a salon, I would suggest that. I know a lot of beauty colleges are very well priced, and I am sure they could fix your hair for you. Take your week off to really examine your feelings regarding this guy, and maybe tell yourself that you need to just let it all go for you own sake.

    Take care.

    #96461
    Shelly
    Participant

    I know what you are going through!! I worked as a cashier/retail through college, and I felt the same way. Here is how I dealt:

    – Everyday, I would tell myself “this is not forever. This is totally temporary. I am not a cashier, I just work as one.”

    – Sometimes, I would pretend to be an actress. If I was getting bored, I would try and be really chipper to some people, or if there was something I wanted to work on (maybe like initiating convo, or trying to be assertive) I would practice on customers.

    – As for the abuse, use your managers!!! I would always start with an apology on behalf of the store or ask what they would like me to do. When that isn’t good enough, I go straight to “would you like to speak with a manager?” We are not punching bags, and society doesn’t understand how much abuse retail workers go through on a daily. I quit a job once when I got a caller on the phone threaten to find me and kill me for not lowering his payment which was out of my control, and management did not support me. Not worth it!

    Good luck!

    #96459
    Shelly
    Participant

    I’m a strong believer in mind over matter. If you really WANT this, you can do it. You might have to work VERY hard, and that is something you would have to be willing to do. Figure out what your weaknesses are, and figure out how to strengthen those areas.

    Good luck!

    #96457
    Shelly
    Participant

    I think you have a right to feel hurt or upset over her becoming distant. If you were as close as you thought you were, I’m sure you would have expected her to be straight with you instead of just going away. However, I hope you know that you deserve someone who feels the same as you, and who would not put you aside for someone else. And I hope you don’t feel inferior to her for this reason. Life goes on, and I am sure you will meet someone who shares the same values as you. She might feel uncomfortable for the reasons that you stated, and that could be her way of dealing with it. Not saying she is right, but people have different ways of dealing with things, and it seems like she went through some trauma in her past.

    To answer your question regarding lies and such – I have A LOT of friends who would rather ignore someone or lie to them before actually confronting them with the truth in order to spare their feelings. I find this to have the opposite affect. It will hurt the other person either way, might as well get it over with as soon as you can, in my opinion. And truth is very important to me. There are a lot of reasons why people lie. They might not want to deal with it, scared to hurt feelings, and they can also be uncomfortable with the reaction they think they might receive with the truth.

    I will admit that I have one particular ex that I had to lie to about why I was breaking up with him instead of the truth because he was so mentally unstable, I knew the truth would make him go crazy. All of my other friends or ex’s, I have been completely honest with as to why I no longer wanted to be with them, or even if I just had an issue I wanted to squash.

    I will also state that putting a lot of your problems on another person’s shoulders such as sharing that you were depressed and such might come off as something “she” needs to fix, and maybe she could be running from that because she is not equipped for that. Not saying that was your intention, but she could have taken it that way. I have opened up to a few friends before and found they became distant with me and it was never my intention, I just wanted to share! People interpret things differently a lot.

    In closing, I want to say that there is SO much beauty in life. Friends/relationships come and go, but please remember this is your time on Earth and there are so many things to explore and learn about. I would urge you to see a therapist if possible to discuss your feelings and issues with. I go to a therapist myself and found it to help a lot. Sometimes when I get too involved in a situation in life, I kinda zoom out and try to see myself from space and realize how little of an issue I’m having, and it helps!

    Good luck!

    #96455
    Shelly
    Participant

    ElleTinker700 – I’m not sure that he was a dealer (who knows, though!), but he was buying them from someone, and there is a lot about him that I don’t know about. And while he never went to jail, he should have.

    I’ve heard I can’t get one unless I am being threatened which I’m not. Of course if he ever did again, I would go for one. My main tactic right now is to stop any communication, and forget his name and hope he forgets mine.

    #96454
    Shelly
    Participant

    Thank you both for the replies. It has helped give me some perspective.

    #96453
    Shelly
    Participant

    Sandeep – I do find it better to be alone than with others’ negativity.

    ElleTinker700 – I’ve also made friend while traveling, but I’ve lost touch with such distance between us all.
    The farmers market idea is good! Thanks for the reply 🙂

    #96451
    Shelly
    Participant

    I did move from my old apartment since the lease was up, but I have to stay with my mom while getting some finances together and he does know where she lives. We do have good locks here so that is good.

    I think I am being paranoid most of the time. He never showed any signs of violence. I guess I just got spooked when he called me and then cussed me out when I told him not to. I haven’t talked to him since then which was over a month ago, so time will be the healer, I suppose.

    Thank you, Anita.

    #96314
    Shelly
    Participant

    Are you able to maybe see a counselor or therapist? I’ve gone through similar things and talking with someone who understands really helps, and they can also give you some solid advice.

    Like anita suggested, try and have some “me” time and relax. Meditation, being with nature, doing things you enjoy, etc. Take care of yourself, and don’t put too much on your plate at once.

    #96310
    Shelly
    Participant

    Mine: Never stop dreaming 🙂

    #96309
    Shelly
    Participant

    As someone has said before, being in nature really helps me. Also, having good conversations with good friends helps me as well. Basically, immersing yourself around positive things, and making time for things you truly enjoy.

    #89053
    Shelly
    Participant

    Hi Anita.

    Thank you for your advice. It’s good to read that to remind me. I always feel obligated to making sure someone is doing ok, their feelings aren’t hurt, etc etc when I should really be focusing on my well being. That is what I will continue to do. Thank you.

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)