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Shay

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  • #79026
    Shay
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    No I won’t fully reach my desires by cutting ties with some. But, it will help with the focus I need to get there.

    I can not cut ties with my mother. I’m all she has, sadly. I have told her that I will from now on make her appointments for her to allow more time with my family and my kids time to be kids.

    I am cutting ties with the sibling who is the cause of most of the unnecessary pain and stress. May I add, just to give you an idea, that she “uninvited” my mother to the wedding. Mind you, my mom would be the only grandparent my nephew has by his side on his special day. So even though my sister thinks she ruined it for my mom, she did HER child wrong. And again, same sister who got mad at me for worrying something happened to her child when I did not hear from him when he said he’d be here and didn’t show up. I’m talking about the same sister who belittles, degrades, and talks very badly about HER family who have done nothing but bailed her out of bad situations and given her spoiled butt the shirts off our backs.

    I’m still just curious as to if cutting ties,with siblings is frowned upon, giving my reasons stated?

    #78993
    Shay
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for responding. I appreciate it very much.

    My answers are:
    1) yes 2) yes 3) yes
    4) They have experienced my mom’s negativity and when my mom first got sick and wouldn’t listen to me about seeking healthcare, I asked for advice from my siblings as to what I should do because I felt alone and didn’t want to make a decision they’d later be upset at me for. Once I got my mom help I was then asked to keep them updated and not to be afraid to ask for their assistance. I had to ask once for another one of them yo give mom a ride and got a poor attitude and was lashed out at by another one of the siblings for making the one I asked to help feel like they HAD to do it. I simply asked because I had a prior engagement that had been planned for a long while prior to my mom becoming ill, not to make any one of them feel obligated.
    5) No, it’s absolutely, positively unfair to my kids to put being a kid on the back burner. Again, another situation my siblings can’t understand why I don’t “just let them.” Timing, meaning, other parents get out of work at 4 pm and I’m to have mom at an appointment around the same time and get out too late to let them go over to play. Usually weekends work out to play with friends but again we are either busy with activities or their friends are busy….

    I have, since posting my initial post, have decided that I will be cutting ties for sure with at least one of my siblings. She has always been cruel and just plain mean to everyone in our family, not just me. I’ve also decided that I will not be attending my nephew’s wedding. I just can’t afford (it’s a destination wedding) to go as it is, let alone spending the money to have my sister do nothing BUT belittle me and my family. I feel horrible about my decision for my nephews sake, but my sister is that horrible to us that Im already suffering anxiety of being around her for a week on a ship…

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