Thank you to one and all for replying. Its so kind of you all to reply. It helps me tremendously especially when my mind can’t think straight.

I read your replies again and again. I feel better now but still there are moments which make me feel worse. Sometimes I am afraid to be alone because then my mind keeps thinking and overthinking. It’s like I constantly feel the need to justify myself about what happened. I have started reading novels/books and I’m trying to spend more time with friends and family so that my mind is occupied but I want to reach at that point when I’m at peace with myself and her existence and all this fuss no longer matters!

Each of you who replied, thank you. It was encouraging to read your replies. I feel better now except for those odd emotional pangs. Really, your replies have helped me and made me think in a positive way.