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  • #127043
    MD
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    Hi All,

    I know that most people don’t come on to sites like these to share success stories but this note is a way for me to thank all of you on my Anxiety related journey since the last 6 months. Through you and 100’s of other sites like this, I learnt more about what Anxiety was all about. Through all of you I got comfort that there were other people like me and I wasn’t the only one. Through some of you I learnt coping techniques and you gave me faith that I could get a grip on my life once again. This is my way to give back to you.

    Quick background about me. Until 6 months ago, I considered myself a happy-go-lucky guy in his 40’s. Highly ambitious. Drank too much coffee / soda / energy drinks, didn’t exercise, didn’t care about what I ate, worked late hours, smoked quite a bit but drank no alcohol. Have a great job, solid marriage, great loving family, financially secure but a self-professed stress junky.

    Frankly, being under stress gave me an adrenaline rush on a daily basis and it was my fuel. Being a corporate strategist has always been my core competence, so overthinking things and coming up with creative solutions was my biggest asset. So in my corporate career I have deliberately kept myself under constant stress because it allowed me to be highly creative.

    Then out of nowhere came a Panic Attack. At the sudden onset of Anxiety 6 months ago, I had no idea what’s going on as it came like a lighting bolt out of the blue and without warning. It changed my world completely.

    When I had a Panic attack and went to ER they were very quick to perform tests, shoot me with Xanax and give me a prescription for Xanax and send me on my way. I never took it after the hospital visit because I did not want to build a dependency on medication.

    I visited a therapist only once early on to confirm that I was not going crazy. I needed to hear from an expert that this was just anxiety and not nothing else. He spent an hour with me where I did all the talking and he took notes. Then at the top of the hour he said that I anxiety and told me that I need to come him once a week. He gave me no advice, no coping tools, nothing. I would have considered going to back to him if I did not get a bill for $260 after Insurance payments for my 60 minute visit.

    Then came panic attacks, irrational thoughts, cognitive distortions and other physical manifestations of anxiety.

    So I turned to other avenues to help myself.

    Please know that this is just my experience and some of you may have a better one.

    I’ve learnt a lot since the last 6 months and begun to appreciate my life and everyone a lot more. Also, I’ve developed a new found appreciation for children with special needs and for people who’ve dealt with this for many years. I am going to make it my mission to help special need kids through charitable contributions and also through giving my time through community support. In that spirit, here is my attempt to make a small difference in someone else’s life.

    First you need to do the following:

    1) Accept Anxiety. Don’t fight it, don’t argue with it, don’t worry about it. The first thing you do is Accept the fact that you have it. Funny trick Anxiety plays on you is that it becomes easier to suspect that you have a dreadful disease or that you’re going insane but it’s harder to accept that it’s just anxiety.
    2) Realize that Anxiety is just like any other emotion like Happiness, Sadness, Excitement, Disappointment, Worry etc..
    3) Realize that there are no Right or Wrong throughts, No Good or Bad thoughts.. All they are thoughts. They don’t need a reason to pop into your head and they don’t need to be rational all the time.
    4) You don’t need to spend time thinking why this is happening to you. You need to start thinking about how you’ll not spend anymore time than you have to on overthinking Anxiety.
    5) Realize the fact that the Rational part of your Brain has the VETO Card. Anytime your brain is overthinking and anxiety is taking over the Rational part of your brain will Shut you down through a Panic Attack, Bursting into tears, etc..
    6) Realize that Anxiety can never really hurt you unless you decide to let it consume you and shut out the outside world. NO ONE in the history of ManKind has gone crazy with Anxiety. Crazy people live in a parallel reality. Anxious people are anxious about what they fear the most. Because you fear it, you won’t do it.
    7) Realize that you can continue to live your life to the fullest and let Anxiety like all other emotions reside in the background.
    8) STOP researching the symptoms. The more you research, the more you find out about other symptoms and the more you know other symptoms the more your brain manifests it onto you.
    9) If you DO research. Spend time learning different types of Yoga Poses, exercise regiments, Herbal Supplements, CBT worksheets, meditation techniques.
    10) If you want to do more research, Read about the primitive part of your brain (Amygdala), neuro thought patterns and cognitive function. Read about Brain Elasticity and how to re-train your brain. Read about the SNS and PNS Nervous systems.
    11) Most of all be patient and go easy on yourself. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, you don’t have to beat anxiety, you don’t have to romanticize being better. Just work on yourself a little bit everyday.
    12) Find someone like a close friend, a colleague or a relative to talk to you. Until I spoke to my friends, family & spouse I had no idea that everyone has weird thoughts from time to time. Before I did that, I thought I was the only one loosing my mind.
    13) Trust the fact that you’ll find that everyone has varied levels of Anxiety (Low, Med, High). Our brain processed approx. 70,000 thoughts per day. In a Med to High Anxiety state we tend to latch on things that concern us the most and then overthink them until we have an Anxiety or Panic Attack. People who we consider NORMAL (Low Anxiety individuals) also have the same thoughts as us but are able to brush them off much more easily.

    Then do these things that absolutely work:

    1) Exercise – Anything from 15 mins a day to 1.5 hours per day is something you invest in.
    2) Stretching 5 mins as soon as you wake up
    3) Meditate 5 mins after you wake up and before you start your day
    4) Invest in 30 mins of mediation daily. It will help you stay calm and also help you be an observer of your thoughts without being judgemental.
    5) If you get a Gym Membership. Go sit in the Steam Room or Sauna for 5 – 6 mins and relax. During this time, let your brain wander without making judgements.
    6) Learn deep breathing exercises so that you are constantly engaging your Rest and Digest response as a counter to Fight or Flight response. My favorite is to follow 5-4-5 role. 5 Seconds breath In, Hold for 4 Seconds and release for 5 seconds.
    7) Get full blood work done to determine what Vitamins and Minerals you’re deficient in.
    8) Get a Full Physical Exam to get any doubts about your physical well being out of the way.
    9) Make a simple habit of smiling and acknowledging an anxious thought. Every time I have an irrational thought, I smile and say “There you are my friend. Don’t worry, we’re safe. I know you make me worry about things that matter the most. It’s OK. ”
    10) Eat healthy – Bring a lot of fruit and veggies into your diet. Cut out the Junk food and fried stuff.
    11) Cut out Caffiene, Sugar and Soda as much as you can. Do it slowly so that you don’t shock your system.
    12) Chew Gum all the time
    13) Drink a lot of Water
    14) Drink a lot of Herbal Tea
    15) Eat the following Supplements:
    a. Vitamin D3
    b. Magnesium Calm Supplement (amazon.com)
    c. Omega 3 Fatty Acids
    d. Vitamin C
    e. Positive Thought (St John Worts from Amazon.com)
    f. Natrol Stress & Anxiety Day / Night (Amazon.com)
    16) The list in the #23 item is what worked for me. You need to do more research on what works for you. Passion Flower Extract, Valerian Root, Kava Kava, HTP5, GABA Supplements. The choice is huge out there. Keep trying something a few weeks and see how it works for you.
    17) Sleep on time and eat on time.
    18) FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT. This is the best thing I did after I read it somewhere. I kept living my life like nothing was happening until Anxiety lost is power significantly. I kept pretending like nothing was wrong until my brain was convinced that there was nothing to worry about.
    19) Go to GroupOn and buy massage packages. Pamper yourself. Get a new haircut, go to a Spa. Do something that’ll make you feel like a Million bucks.
    20) Go to Walmart and buy an aroma therapy defusor. Load it up with Lavendar oil and smell that all the time. It will keep you calm.
    21) One Hack I learnt along the way that is the Human Brain is unable to Multi-Task at Will so when you have a racing mind; you can counteract my chewing gum, tapping your feet or snapping your fingers. When you at least 2 things simultaneously you force the cognitive part of your brain to take over. Same thing while driving, if you feel like your brain is wandering; Chew Gum, Hum a Tune or tab your fingers. You’ll see how fast you can switch to the Cognitive Part of your brain.
    22) Find a social cause that takes your time where you help people who are less fortunate than you. It will have a profound impact on you and suddenly realize that your problems are pale in comparison. If you can’t give money, give time. If cannot give time, promote someone’s cause on Social Media. Bring awareness to something larger than yourself.
    23) Last piece of advice. If you are religious, pray. Pray and put your faith in God to steer you through this journey. If you’re not religious then realize the fact that the Universe always has a way to steer you and guide you.

    Finally, things that you absolutely shouldn’t do:

    1) Constantly fight anxiety or try to push anxiety
    2) Try to suppress thoughts or try not to think about them. The more you try it the more end up thinking about it
    3) Think that a magic pill will make it all OK
    4) Lock up yourself into your home and think about it all day long. You’ll spiral into depressive states.
    5) Mope about it and feel sorry for yourself. You will not want to fight it.
    6) Get frustrated about not getting better and being depressed.
    7) Think that something is terribly wrong with you health wise.
    8) Go to Google and keep looking up symptoms.

    How Anxiety made my life a whole lot better:

    1) I started working out and now am in better shape than ever before. I run, I lift weights and I do Yoga.
    2) I started eating a lot healthier and started to promote healthy eating in my family.
    3) The health benefits were plenty.
    4) I cut out stimulants such as Candy, Soda, Energy Drinks and Coffee by 98%.
    5) I stopped smoking for 6 months cold turkey and now smoke only 1-2 cigarettes a day when the brain chatter is in over drive. I hope to quit completely again soon.
    6) I became more mindful through meditation and learnt how to not let my thoughts over power me
    7) I became more calm in my life and learnt not to frustrated on the little things
    8) I realized that I loved my life and everyday was a blessing. That helped me love my family more and appreciate everything I had a lot more.
    9) I became more sensitive to other people and their problems. I just didn’t judge as quickly as I used to.

    Finally, you need to read the following material that really helped me. They’ve been bookmarked on my computer since the last 6 months.

    Read this list: http://wiredforhappy.com/100-smart-ways-to-calm-your-anxious-mind/

    Read this letter from cover to cover: http://archive.is/uQspw

    Go to: http://www.youtube.com and look for Guided Meditation videos

    Go to: http://www.anxietyguru.net and listen to the podcasts.

    Go to: tinybuddha.com and read blogs.

    Finally, I’m at a stage right now where I know I have anxiety but it does not stop from living my life. It never did because I was not going to let a something that did not exist or was imaginary impact my life.

    My Anxiety currently lingers somewhere in the back of my mind and will every now and again remind me that I need to worry about some “What If” scenario. A place or a word will trigger the over-thinking but I know I have the tools to quite the thoughts down and that’s OK. Will I ever get rid of being anxious every now and again, frankly, I don’t know and nor do I care. I wake up every morning knowing that I may have anxious thoughts and I tell myself – “I have Anxiety So What?”

    All I know is that investing in Anxiety or Emotions related to Anxiety are an investment with NO Returns. Just accept it and move ON.

    Life is a beautiful adventure and anxiety cannot take that away from you.

    Stay blessed and stay strong.

    I’m in deep gratitude to all of you.

    Thanks

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