You likely know you can save yourself a lot of pain and heartache by learning to let go, but how?
How do you let go of anger when your first thought in the morning, the last one at night, and the majority of the ones in between revolve around how you were hurt?
How do you let go of resentment when it feels like you’ll never be able to change the things that you resent?
How do you let go of frustration when you feel stuck, stagnant, and completely powerless to change it?
How do you let go of worries …
“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama
I was a perfectionist growing up, always trying to bang my flawed round-shaped self into a perfect square hole that couldn’t possibly contain me.
In my early twenties, I decided to focus on personal development—a positive thing, I assumed.
I figured if I worked on improving a little every day and nurturing a positive mindset, I’d feel a lot better about myself than I did when I got down on myself for my flaws.
I didn’t take into consideration that I might become a perfectionist about positivity.
That …
“The past exists only in our memories, the future only in our plans. The present is our only reality.” ~Robert Pirsig
Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by unpleasant thoughts and feelings? Do they show up like an uninvited guest when you’re least expecting them?
About eight months ago, I quit a lucrative corporate job in finance to follow my passion, writing.
Like most things in life, this decision came with a cost.
And all the angst that comes with it.
A few months into my venture, I noticed my angst had become a large part of my mental world. I …
“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle
At the end of the day, when I feel completely exhausted, it often has nothing to do with all the things I’ve done.
It’s not a consequence of juggling multiple responsibilities and projects. It’s not my body’s way of punishing me for becoming a late-life jogger after a period of laziness. It’s not even about getting too little sleep.
When I’m exhausted, you can be sure I’ve bent over backward trying to win everyone’s approval. I’ve obsessed over what people think of me, I’ve …
UPDATE: This offer has now ended. Thank you to everyone who emailed!
If you haven’t yet read Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself, now is a perfect time, as I’m looking for twenty people to send free, autographed copies.
About the Book
Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself is a collaborative effort, including forty stories from members of the Tiny Buddha community.
They touch upon ideas that will help you:
- Release shame about your past and the limiting beliefs that keep you stuck
- See yourself as beautiful and valuable, with all your flaws and weaknesses
- Accept yourself more and
…
“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown
When I was a teenager, right around the time I knew everything, my mother used to tell me I only remembered the bad things.
When I told stories about my family, they didn’t revolve around family beach trips, barbecues, and vacations; they focused on painful memories and all the ways I felt my childhood had damaged me.
The same applied to friends and milestones in my life. I chronically remembered and rehashed the worst experiences.
In fact, straight through college I followed up every introductory handshake with a dramatic …
“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” ~Mencius
Remember when life was simple?
When your friends were the most important thing in the world. When a snow day was a perfect excuse to have fun, not a block of time when you felt guilty about being unproductive.
When the ice cream truck could make your day, no matter what happened before. Bad grade? Big deal—it’s snow cone time. Skinned knee—who cares, you have a screwball!
If only you could bottle that sense of freedom, fun, and enthusiasm for the little things, you could carry it …
“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene
Sometimes I am really terrible to myself, and I relentlessly compare myself to other people, no matter how many times I read or hear about how good enough or lovable I am.
On an almost daily basis, I meticulously look for evidence that I am a nobody, that I don’t deserve to be loved, or that I’m not living up to my full potential.
There is generally a lot of pressure to “stack up” in our culture. We feel as if there is something …
“The reality is that tomorrow is most certainly uncertain and no matter how many expectations we form, tomorrow will come, tomorrow will go, and it will be what it will be.” ~Lori Deschene
I have never known how to surrender to just about anything. Surrendering is giving up control, and this is something I have never been good at doing.
From an early age I coped with tension and negativity by trying to will things to be different. This caused me a great deal of anxiety because trying to will anything to go your way is not only exhausting, …
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10/9/13: The pre-order promotion is now over. You can learn more about Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself here!
If you visited the blog any time during September, you likely saw some of the many self-love interviews featuring contributors from the new book Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself: 40 Ways to Transform Your Inner Critic and Your Life.
I’m excited to announce that today is the official launch date! If you already ordered a copy on Amazon, it’s possible that you already received it, as I’ve recently learned they shipped a little early.
If you haven’t redeemed …
10/9/13: The pre-order promotion is now over. You can learn more about Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself here!
Two years ago I surveyed the Tiny Buddha community to crowdsource wisdom for my second book, which was going to break apart the idea of success.
Around the same time, I experienced a series of life-altering events, including a major surgery, financial hardship, a break-in, and the death of my grandmother.
Within the following months, I dramatically decreased the amount of time I devoted to blogging. After almost three years of regularly sharing my feelings, I wanted space to explore …
“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.” ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
Last night, I discovered the tiniest of creatures in my shower: a minute scorpion, no larger than the average human fingernail.
I could not for the life of me work out how it had ended up here because I live on the third floor of an apartment building in a busy South African city. Nonetheless, there it was—a little fellow in the corner of the tiles, receiving ricocheted water droplets on his tiny little carapace.
My main personal learning theme for this year …
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown
Have you heard the story of the ugly duckling?
Well, there never was an ugly duckling; he was actually a swan whose real beauty had not been recognized by him or by others.
All of us may or may not be ugly ducklings, but we are totally worthy of being loved, accepted, and cherished just as we are.
Ultimately we are all trying to do the best we can with our current knowledge, awareness, and understanding. But we lose our way, and the …
“The lives we lead have everything to do with the questions we ask ourselves.” ~Lori Deschene
You lay in bed night after night, tossing and turning, eager to push forward but unable to shake off the onslaught of what-ifs.
What if I’m making a huge mistake? What if I fail utterly and miserably? What if I’m overestimating my ability to go through with this? What-if…? What-if…?
Yet, no matter how crazy your anxiety and fears seem right now, you can snap out of it and make that new start you so desperately desire.
How do I know?
Let me …
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” ~Benjamin Spock
My confidence is a delicate thing. I’ve had more disturbances in my life than I’ve had reassurances, a handful of betrayals, and enough playground cruelty to last me until the day I die.
I am still living with some difficult health conditions that I wake up and go to bed with every day, with no respite. I’m an introvert to the core, no matter how eloquent I am with the written word, or articulate with the spoken word.
Some of us are more fragile than others, but that’s …
“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” ~Unknown
A little over forty-eight hours from now, I’ll be on a plane to Europe where I plan to spend three months traveling (and working) with my boyfriend.
Saturday is the first day of a dream I’ve held for well over a decade.
It was my second year in college when I did my semester abroad, staying in a castle my school owns in The Netherlands.
I was one of less than seventy students there, part of an intimate group that traveled together on three weekend trips to Paris, …
“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” ~Shirley MacLaine
I love her to death, but it’s draining to talk to her.
Every time I call this friend of mine, I know what I’m in for: a half-hour rant about everything that’s difficult, miserable, or unfair.
Sometimes she focuses on the people she feels have wronged her, and other times she explores the general hopelessness of life. She never calls to see how I’m doing, and she rarely listens to what’s going on in my life for more than a minute before shifting the focus back to herself.
I …
“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene
I, like many of you I’m guessing, am a wanderer. A student of the soul. At times it can be a bewildering path. Most days I give thanks for the adventure. Many others I wish for clarity and certainty.
But though I am a wanderer, I am not aimless: I have a path as deep and true as any other. I simply have no map to guide me, only my intuition, and the myriad teachers that cross my …
You may have found your way here after reading the May 2013 issue of Cosmopolitan.
If so, welcome! My name is Lori Deschene and I’m the founder of Tiny Buddha. I’m excited to introduce you to the site and share a little about myself, the community, and Tiny Buddha’s mission.
A Tiny Story About This Site
Tiny Buddha began on Twitter in 2008, where early followers received one daily quote. The website launched in September 2009 with one mission: to provide a space where we can all share our stories and lessons to help each other and ourselves.
I wanted …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
