“The biggest problem for humanity, not only on a global level, but even for individuals, is misunderstanding.” -Rinpoche

The full quote is as follows:

“The biggest problem for humanity, not only on a global level, but even for individuals, is misunderstanding.  We misunderstand.  Two people are saying the same thing, but they don’t think they are saying the same thing, and they begin to argue even though they are saying the same thing!

I remember two students of mine, both wonderful people, who were in conflict with each other because they were both holding a particular work or something and each was always thinking the other was against him.

I tried many methods, which didn’t work, and finally I took them and banged their head together.  And it worked, because they both saw how they are each wonderful, that they were not against each other, and they became very good friends.”

Banging two people’s heads together doesn’t always yield such a peaceful result; but the message here is poignant nonetheless.

Oftentimes when we don’t agree, we’re saying the same things in different ways. And if we’re not saying the same things, that doesn’t always mean we’re trying to hurt each other. If you look for the good in what people are saying–try to understand their perspective–you’ll get more than you would by arguing your case.

If you feel the instinct to fight today because of something you heard, ask yourself this question:

“Could I be misunderstanding? Is it possible something good could come from giving him the benefit of the doubt?

Related blog post:

Letting Go of Stories About Other People