“Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke
When I was twelve years old, I figured out how to get out of things.
It was a rainy Saturday morning and I was supposed to be getting ready for choir practice—an eight-hour rehearsal before a big concert.… Read More
“Freedom is instantaneous the moment we accept things as they are.” ~Karen Maezen Miller
Four years ago I spent the better part of a year being silent.
A friend had told me that in silence, the bits of you that need healing heal themselves. He was talking about the bits of me that had pushed me until I was sick and depressed, too anxious to answer the door.… Read More
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen
Being yourself seems like it would be an easy thing, right? Just be! But when you’re someone who has lived their life seeking the approval of others constantly, it’s not such an easy thing.… Read More
“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti
I hate my life! It’s a phrase that’s used by teenagers and adults alike. Sometimes we use them for dramatic effect and sometimes, literally.
When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago and said “I hate my life!” I meant every word.… Read More
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
I have struggled with lack of self-love for most of my life. I experienced feelings of guilt and shame on a regular basis and constantly sought the approval of others. My father committed suicide when I was 14 years old, and that played a huge role in these feelings that I had about myself.… Read More
“You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown
There’s nothing perfect about me and I’m ok with that…now. This wasn’t the case for most of my life, though. In fact, I’ve been a perfectionist for almost 30 years. I’m not counting the first five years of my life when I was free to be as messy and magical as I wanted.… Read More
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” ~Wayne Dyer
Everything in life is perception. How you perceive life depends on the things and people that have influenced you: school, society, friends, family, TV. So, you may think something is bad or good, but in reality it is neither.… Read More
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Do I really love them, or am I simply afraid to be without them? Is my love an expression of freedom, or is it merely a mask that hides my insecurities? These are questions that haunted my awareness.… Read More
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ~Maya Angelou
I’ve been a world-class worrier about what other people would think about me for a long time.
The clothes, the hair, the shoes. The books I read, the movies I liked, the music I listened to.… Read More
“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer
“You’re too quiet.”
This comment and others like it have plagued me almost all my life. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that I needed to come out of my shell, to be livelier, or to talk more.… Read More
“Happiness is really a deep harmonious inner satisfaction and approval.” ~Francis Wilshire
It is only in the last few years of my life that I have felt genuinely happy and comfortable in my own skin.
Until my early thirties the dominant feeling I carried around with me was one of extreme social awkwardness.… Read More
“Lean too much on other people’s approval and it becomes a bed of thorns.” ~Tehyi Hsieh
In the face of a conflict with another, the wisdom that most often brings me peace is the reminder that the only thing I can change is how I react. Whatever or whoever else is a part of the conflict, that is outside of my control.… Read More
“We meet but briefly in life, if we touch each other with stardust, that is everything.” ~Unknown
We had baked chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy that evening. It was the kind of hardy meal that warms you up on a damp March night.
As I said goodnight, I couldn’t have imagined that in just a few hours I would return to my parents’ house and everything would be changed forever.… Read More
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle
My partner, Ruth, and I were not happy.
The inside of her mouth was covered in sores, she couldn’t swallow well, and she was exhausted. The chemotherapy was ravaging her body.… Read More
“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy
Are you judgmental? Not many people would be aware if they were, let alone admit to being so, but it’s so easy to form an opinion about a person or situation without knowing all the facts.… Read More
“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” ~Francois Gautier
Pain was my norm; not physical pain, but emotional pain compounded with mental self-torture. I was an introvert without introspection, painfully shy and unable to make eye contact. I caved to all manners of peer pressure.
I was a doormat and didn’t stand up for myself, although I would fight tooth and nail for someone else.… Read More
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama
When I entered college, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I was going to be an actuary, just like my sister.
Judy had just graduated, and she loved her job.… Read More
“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Miguel Ruiz
When I was in fifth grade, the boy who shared the desk next to me said that I had a “roller coaster nose.”
At that age when things were starting to sprout from places I didn’t know things could sprout, and everyone’s watching each other develop under the microscope of pre-pubescent angst, that little comment sent me into a 10-year-old tailspin.… Read More
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“I aim to please. It’s okay, no worries. Please don’t worry, its no big deal.” These are some things I’ve said when interacting with others. The truth was that it wasn’t okay, and it was inconveniencing me.… Read More
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Theresa
It was the second time I’d gone out to lunch with a new friend I met through this site.
We’d experienced some of the same things in life, and I instantly admired her attitude and perspective.
Sometimes when I meet up with people I’ve met through Tiny Buddha, I feel a sense of inner conflict.… Read More