“Love is saying, ‘I feel differently’ instead of ‘you’re wrong.'” -Unknown
I’ve written a lot of posts about compassion these past few years, challenging both myself and readers to be open-minded and see things from others’ points of view.
On almost every post, someone has commented that there are times when other people are, in fact, wrong–when the person who cut you off in traffic really is a jerk, not just having a bad day; when the friend who hurt you actually had cruel intentions, and didn’t just make an innocent mistake; or when the person who sees things differently is truly misinformed, as opposed to holding a varied, but different opinion.… Read More
“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” -Francois Gautier
Last week, I wrote a post about making difficult decisions, which incorporated 30 ideas from the Tiny Buddha Facebook community. The experience of writing it and reading the comments reminded me how certainty can sometimes silence our strongest instincts–when, ironically, certainty is always an illusion.… Read More
“We must remember that an apology isn’t an apology unless it’s meaningful.” -Unknown
An old friend of mine used to apologize almost once during every sentence. If she interrupted me, she apologized. If I interrupted her, she apologized. If she asked me for the time, she apologized. If I tripped on her shoe, she apologized.… Read More
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” ~Buddha
When I first moved to San Francisco, the only friend I knew there told me she hoped I didn’t get too close to her other friends.… Read More
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown
Recently, I’ve been listening to a guided healing meditation I found online. I searched for it because I sensed something was wrong with my body, a couple weeks before a doctor confirmed it.
I didn’t expect it would bring up old wounds, but it has.… Read More
“If you’re going to doubt something, doubt your own limits.” -Don Ward
There’s a Saturday Night Live sketch that features Kenan Thompson as a middle school student with a broken knee. Scarlett Johansson and his other classmates repeatedly convince him to attempt walking, quoting a teacher who frequently lectures on the power of positive thinking.… Read More
“Believe nothing no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha
Every now and then, someone writes to me to inform me that something I’ve written doesn’t align with Buddhism. I can understand this instinct.… Read More
“If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” -Bob Basso
Yesterday as I was searching for fun videos to lift my spirits, I found “The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun.” It’s from 2010 and a little long, at just under 9 minutes long, but it’s chock-full of great reminders and bright colors.… Read More
“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” -Kimberly Howard
Yesterday I wrote about realizing that we don’t need to justify our feelings–but there is another side to that coin: we need to realize that having difficult feelings does not justify poor choices.
This is something I have often struggled with.… Read More
“What other people think of me is none of my business.” -Wayne Dyer
You’re visibly anxious before a performance evaluation, but you don’t want your coworker to think you’re neurotic—so you tell her about everything that’s riding on this promotion.
You feel subdued at a party, but you don’t want your new girlfriend to think you’re antisocial—so you tell her you have a lot on your mind.… Read More
“Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.” -Goethe
This weekend, I attended the Wanderlust Yoga & Music Festival where I gave a presentation on Saturday afternoon. That evening, my friend and I went to the Girl Talk concert. In case you’re not familiar, Girl Talk is a musician specializing in mash-ups.… Read More
“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” -Wayne Dyer
The other day, I reached out to someone I admire, and felt disappointed by the experience. I perceived her response to be somewhat curt and even condescending, which surprised me. Based on my earnest enthusiasm and admiration—and what I thought I knew about her—I expected more.… Read More
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” -Dr. Seuss
The other night, I saw Jersey Boys, the play that chronicles Frankie Valli’s rise to fame with the band The Four Seasons. I wasn’t previously familiar with the group’s story, so I was even more enthralled by the journey that led them to international success–particularly because they had so many catchy songs that I’ve known and loved for years.… Read More
“When you live on a round planet, there’s no choosing sides.” -Wayne Dyer
I’ve read a lot of articles about achieving your dreams and creating the life you want. There is a common message that always creates a disconnect in me: Many otherwise empowering articles lose me when the authors suggest we should “tune out our haters.”
This seems to imply that there are people out there who want us to fail–who purposely act hateful with the intention of pulling us down.… Read More
“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” -Maxwell Maltz
I’ve written a lot about letting other people in. As a recovering loner, this has been a huge issue in my life, but everything is about balance. As much as we need to nurture our relationships with other people, we need to nurture our relationships with ourselves.… Read More
“Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something.” -Henry David Thoreau
An old friend of mine used to say she hated when people pushed their causes on her. She saw this as pestering and judgment–that she somehow wasn’t good enough because she ate meat, or didn’t help preserve endangered species, or didn’t send money to starving children in third-world countries.… Read More
“An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.” -Proverb
Have you ever had a lengthy conversation with someone without acknowledging a single thing you were really thinking or feeling?
Maybe someone asked, “How are you?” And, instinctively, you said, “Fine.” Or someone asked, “What’s new?” And your knee-jerk response was, “Not much.” Or someone asked your opinion, and you glossed over what you really think to avoid making waves.… Read More
“Patience is passion tamed.” -Lyman Abbott
Running a site about wisdom can be an exercise in massive irony when you don’t feel like applying what you’ve learned. For me, this is most relevant when it comes to patience.
For the past three months, I’ve been planning a new feature for this site, and I’ve devoted a lot of my time, energy, and resources to creating it.… Read More
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” -Charles Swindoll
“I can’t wait to leave LA. Seriously, we should consider moving within a year.”
I said this to my boyfriend as we were sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic a few streets away from our apartment, anticipating at least 10 more minutes of chaos.… Read More
“If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take chances.” -Julia Soul
If you think you may have made mistakes, you are probably on the right track. That means you’re doing things even though you’re not perfect at them, which is the only way to learn and grow.… Read More