June 18, 2013 at 12:32 pm #37157
I am feeling really overwhelmed by life at the moment I used to be a very happy person who was content with life and had a good relationship with myself as well as others, a healthy approach to food and exercise and direction in life. I have just finished university & whilst there over the past few years I have started bingeing on bad foods & resulting in gaining lots of weight, i have lost all confidence in myself, i am not sure what or where I want to go in life and I as a result of all this have separated myself from my friends and lost touch with them. I have now become really clingy to my mum as she is the only person I do anything with i.e just going grocery shopping, errand running etc. and she is now having health problems with results coming back soon which could be either good or bad news, which is causing me to be so anxious. I feel nauseous, restless and just generally run down and I know that I need to look after myself first in order to take care of her if she is ill. I feel very miserable and just hope to get back to the person I was when I was completely content with life. I am hoping that an outside perspective could bring some could advice as to how do I even begin to get my life back- any advice is appreciated.
Thank you 🙂June 18, 2013 at 1:07 pm #37158
I know how you feel, I’ve been down that road many time, and right now I’m pulling myself back up again. First thing I want to say is that remember, everyone goes through these ups and downs in life, nothing is permanent, people have good days, bad days, good years, bad years, good decades, bad decades. So this is what we have to go through to learn our life lessons, even the most successful people in the world, have good days and bad days. So first you have to forgive yourself for it. Everyone starts to eat a lot when they are at school, i did too, because it helps for our brain to function faster, carbs help us to stay up all night to finish projects. So forgive yourself for it. And try to see it as an exciting new begging. You accomplished a great thing graduating from university.
Getting out of school for lot of us is very scary, because you don’t know what is going to happen. But this your task now, learning to be ok with uncertainty, glad that you have a home to stay and have your mother by yourside while you take care of yourself.
Then, try to remember what made feel good doing back then, did you do anytying that gave you joy? Do that, just to feel good, don’t wait for results, just do what makes you feel joy in your heart. I can hear from your heart, that you really do want to take care of yourself, and you are perhaps tired. So don’t give too much power to the ego that has taken over you. I know how it feels to be drained and tired. So allow yourself just to do nothing, only do things that make you feel goo d about yourself. If you don’t want to hang out with your friends, who cares. Maybe you need time to get back on track, when you are ready to face others you will.
See what would make you very happy right now and give you the nudge you need. One step at a time. Start easy and give yourself permission to enjoy not being a student for a while. Student life is hard, it drains everyone, so when we get out, you have no energy to deal with anything. I made a huge mistake of looking for job right away, I realized i should have given myself a month vacation no matter how hard it was financially, so I could rejuvenate. You need energy to get back to the real life.
Do that, you need to rejuvenate, that’s all.
About your mother, I really hope the results are good, and if she is sick god forbid, she has a wonderful daughter beside her… Remember, giving is always the best medicine in our lives, makes you feel better not matter what. Maybe your job right now is to take care of her. You can see that as a motivation to get healthier.
Hope this helps, I’m here if you need to talk more 🙂
http://www.danubelle.comJune 18, 2013 at 3:49 pm #37166
Thank you so much for sharing so openly here…that takes courage, and I hope you have taken a moment to recognize that you have that inside (even if it is hard to see it).
I agree with so much that Danubelle has shared above, especially in the acceptance of the impermanence of it.
Life is always changing, in every single moment, and the Universe is merciful enough to give us infinite new moments to make new choices and to experience new things if we are open to it.
The only antidote to the ego’s paralyzing voice is the voice of love. It is your intuition, and it is within you. Listen to her – she is the voice that reminds you that you are PERFECT. You are love. Your life is meaningful. Your actions are worthwhile.
Allow yourself to practice hearing this voice in as many new moments as you can.
I use the word “practice” as that is what it is – not a magic pill, not an overnight change, but a knowing that you are connected to and supported by Infinite love and that the more you allow your spirit to remember this, the easier it will become.
Another practice that really helps me is writing a daily gratitude list (I do mine nightly in my journal). You might just start with one thing, but again, with consistency and practice, this too will become easier where you will find gratitude for those things that might surprise you. I have even found myself writing gratitude for opportunities to grow – a fight with my boyfriend is an ideal example (because choosing to learn and grow gives that event meaning).
The more you practice, the more you’ll find that even on those days where you may have felt crappy, you can see the flickers of light in your day.
Please let me know if any questions, and I’ll be sending you so much love in the meantime.