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Daddy Issues Maybe?

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  • #110390
    Darian
    Participant

    I have quite horrendous anger and separation anxiety. Is it possible that my father ditching my mother and I when I was 2 could cause this? I have been an extremely angry person for the last 6 years or so and was able to link as a secondary emotion hiding the fact my self-esteem is not the highest and I hide behind a facade of a false ego and whenever my ego is hit in anyway, I lash out.

    My now ex-girlfriend had our child 4 months ago and I lost my cool and ended up kicking them both out and binged on substances. I am wondering if the ego is the issue and if I should try to resolve the issues of the sperm donor ditching my mother and I. My adopted father is great, he’s always made sure I had what I needed and owns a business. He has raised me since I was 4 and see me as his own. But I still have a void I can’t seem to fill.

    Meh, all my drug and anger issues have met at a crossroad. I have two options, either to save myself or keep digging toward a lower rock bottom than I currently am at. I don’t do well with therapy but I do very good using self help books so if you have recommendations, I’d appreciate it. And maybe some conformation bias to meeting the sperm donor. I am being medicated currently and the doctors want to up the dose but I really, really don’t want to numb the pain. Ever since I began mapping what my anger his and all my horrible past memories, it seems my ego is the biggest culprit.

    I don’t want to take much more medicine to control the anger, anxiety, and depression. I just want to solve the root issues so I can change the course of my life. Apologize for the ramble, feeling pretty pessimistic.

    #110391
    Darian
    Participant

    I guess, actually, I am not sure what I am asking for or what I need..

    #110392
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi dantesinferno,

    Don’t you see? You kicking your GF and infant out was exactly what your bio father in essence did. He rejected you. You reject them.

    These aren’t self help books per se, but I like anything by Shmuley Boteach. By just reading his writings his duty to family and ethics rubs off on you.

    You can give your bio dad a major “Eff You!” by BREAKING the cycle.

    Clean up your act. Get clean. Be an integral part of your child’s life.

    You can do this!

    Blessings,

    Inky

    #110395
    Darian
    Participant

    Wtffff I really don’t understand how I missed the glaring issue

    #110397
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear dantesinferno:

    “The glaring issue” that was pointed to you and that you saw is very significant.

    You wrote that you don’t want more drugs to numb the pain and that you want to get to the root issues. I like getting to root issues. In that aim:

    you wrote that your bio father left your mother and you when you were two. Did you have contact with him after that?

    What did your mother tell you about your bio father throughout your childhood?

    What was your relationship with your mother like in the past and now?

    For as long as you are willing, I will persist with you here on this thread, in search for the root issues. Awaiting your answers.

    anita

    #110414
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Again,

    To add to that, your bio dad sounds like a loser if he ditched you. You don’t need him. Just don’t BECOME him. If you kicked your child (and his mother) out, invite the child (and mother) back in. Make a point of making sure that YOUR child never has to refer to YOU as “bio dad” and/or “sperm donor” when s/he’s your age.

    Inky

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