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Dealing with Rejection

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  • #146859
    lh_74925
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’ve never been very confident with women (romantically that is, lots of female friends) but lately I’m starting to grow and accept myself for being who I am….with this in mind I decided to take the risk of mentioning my feelings about a lady to her.  Sadly she does not have those feelings and its now more than a little awkward.

    I didn’t just blunder into this, rather I thought about it for a long time, told myself no as we work together and that I wasn’t good enough for her, that it would cause problems, etc. etc.  But she is single and with lots of soul searching, asking friends opinions (lots of signs that she did like me) and a deep breath I did what I though was correct but now its causing us both problems.  We still get on but I’m hurting in my way and I think she is as well.  I don’t think she was that kind in her rejection but that doesn’t stop me caring for her and not wanting to see her in pain.

    Could anyone advise how I can heal myself and be the best to her?  I’m obviously not fully over her but know that it will never go anywhere….just don’t like to see people hurting if I can do something about it.

    Thanks 🙂

    #146891
    Craig
    Participant

    Hi lh,

    I’m well into mid-life and I still can totally feel the pain of rejection. What helps me to move forward is acknowledging my feelings – “looking” at them – and not hurrying to feel different.  They seem to change with time,  just like everything else.

    The best thing you can do for HER is to not do anything to help her with her feelings. She gave you the message that she doesn’t want any more closeness. I’d suggest that you continue being polite, genuinely yourself, but avoid the temptation of finding reasons to be around her.

    I’m glad you reached out for support. These things are never easy, and congrats on taking a risk. Eventually when you show your heart, someone will welcome it.  Craig

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