April 8, 2017 at 4:01 pm #144223
I had an extremely scary dream last night, that is extremely similar to what I’m going through in real life, right now. This was an exaggeration of what I am feeling, but I feel is what I’m feeling emotionally.
The dream took place in a hallway at my school, where I was pacing the halls, worried about this feeling of being disconnected from reality (I don’t pace the halls in real life). There were only a few other people in the hallway, that weren’t even acknowledging me. I was lightheaded, and extremely disconnected to the point of me feeling that I was just there, in my body while my mind was trying to become one with my body again, and I was still seeing through my eyes, and I was trying to calm myself down. The whole time, I was trying to escape the feeling of being trapped. I don’t think I knew it was a dream until around the end when everything started to escalate even more. When I tried to wake up I couldn’t wake up, but after a few seconds of what seemed to be forever, I finally woke up.April 8, 2017 at 4:49 pm #144225
When I said this is exaggerated, I meant that the dream was exaggerated.April 8, 2017 at 5:44 pm #144231
Hey, we all have lucid dreams from time to time. The thing I have come to understand is that the location in your dreams is the most significant, so in your situation:
I suggest you visit that hallway someday soon. Find a comfortable place to chill. Take something to read and a bottle of water, or whatever you need to feel comfortable, and just spend some time there to work out what is it about the location that has entered your subconscious.
I may be wrong, but I think you just need to feel at ease in that place, so just go there, take some time out. No problem, right?April 8, 2017 at 7:09 pm #144233
That feeling of “being disconnected from reality”, being “lightheaded”, your mind separate from your body, these are symptoms of dissociation. You may read about it under “dissociation (psychology)” in Wikipedia. It is the way the brain protects itself from significant anxiety (excessive fear when there is no real-life danger).
anitaApril 9, 2017 at 12:35 am #144247
It is your shadow..you..often is expressed in demented dreams that are very unpleasant. It sounds like a part of you has been separated denied and suppressed due to a judgement or fear….I’ve done a lot of shadow work on my own and there is freedom in surrendering into the emotion, crushing your pride and having an honest look at what you believe to be true.
In my fragmented mind I spoke hatred to, what I thought was someone else. Like, “I” wouldn’t treat me that way. Finally realized it’s just me in therr….I was just broken. I always took an inkling to that movie “Sybil” I was intrigued how her mind separated herself into several personalitws, none which she was aware. Oddly enough, my unconscious always drew me to outward manifestations of my inward state. Only later I discovered thism.
A few months ago I had some feelings that were so unconscious but they began to surface however I couldn’t feel them entirely as they felt like agitation. I was down to pulling up the roots of my suffering, my emptiness had only a small space left in which I had to recover. As I began to get out of my denial which didn’t happen overnight, I accepted an ugliness, a possibility of something so.awful that hAppened to me that I boxed it away and forgot all.about it…that’s when the feelings bubbling under sought more of my presence and in the shower, I said, enough, I deserve to love myself and I will face you. And right then I dove right into them and I cried and cried and felt shame and for the first time ever, I looked at a picture of myself as a child and said, omg, that was you. It’s me. I’ve been rejecting and ignoring this neglected part of me for so long and I never once in my mind did I think I was speaking to myself.
There wasn’t a dissociation any longer. It was/is me (however I like to refer as she, third person) the egoic me.
When weve been traumatized at a young age our minds can’t process the events and so we we compartmentalize them. I remember when I created my shadow……again didn’t realize what I was doing but I knew that it was no longer safe to allow anyone to see my heart again . If anyone ever knew how I really felt inside they wouldn’t love me. So, I casted a.false persona, a.shadow who was rebellious, pretended not to care,….it was safer to pretend to be bad than it was to be myself and be rejected. It was my only defense and eventually I lost touch with my soul.
Denial is so.powerful. pride is evil. Shame binds. I had to hit a bottom where God did take me and my husband out of our bodies and pulled us away from love. It was crazy. Felt like literal hell. .separation from love..I had no other way out until one was mandated to me..
I would suggest looking deep into this experience conveyed in fhr dream and being brutally honest with yourself. Fear is a crappy emotion we all hate. Paradoxical I know, but don’t fear the fearm..where there is fear there is a part.of you you do not own. Fear has power over you.
Hope your dreams get better, and your shadow smaller.April 9, 2017 at 12:18 pm #144299
Thank you guys so much! And just to clarify, I do feel dissociation in real life, but I’m not anxious about it, I’m just a little depressed about it, because I don’t have anxiety, and I don’t have any other health issues that I’m aware of.April 9, 2017 at 8:50 pm #144337
You are welcome. If dissociation works well, then the person dissociated does not feel any strong feelings, including anxiety. If you dissociate often, and if it leads to dysfunction, you may want to attend competent psychotherapy.