fbpx
Menu

How do I learn to trust again?

HomeForumsRelationshipsHow do I learn to trust again?

New Reply
Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #61741
    Tess Elizabeth
    Participant

    Recently I broke up with my boyfriend of one and a half years. He had admitted to smoking cigarettes among other trivial things for the past few months. However, the entire time, he swore to me he was being completely honest and open with me. He said he didn’t tell me these things because he didn’t want to start a fight or make me angry. Which I do understand because sometimes I do get upset. But he also told me he wanted my help with quitting smoking. The only reason I couldn’t pick up on these lies earlier is because we’re currently long distance for the summer.

    I love him dearly and I know he loves me, but I think honesty is so important. Although we are currently broken up, I do want to get back together with him. The lies he told weren’t that big and I’ve already forgiven and accepted everything that he did and then lied about, but I think that a dark shadow has been casted over the entire relationship. I truly don’t believe he’s lied about anything bigger than that, but at the same time I don’t know.

    I really want to get back together with him but I don’t know how to allow myself to trust him like I did before. I’m not angry with him at all. I am disappointed and overall hurt that he couldn’t be honest with me. I know that I need to be more open to hearing the truth so that he’ll be more open with me, but how do I know he’s even being honest with me?

    I’m so lost and hurt and confused, and I really need guidance. All of my friends, including mutual friends of ours, have said that there’s no doubt in their mind that we’ll get back together. We were ‘that’ couple. We already act like an old married couple but clearly he’s still very immature.

    I just want to be open to trusting him again but I don’t know how when I’ve been so hurt. Please help.

    #61743
    yadizmarie
    Participant

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. He made his own choices and decided not to tell you anything because he knows what your reaction would be. Which basically means he has gotten to know you very well and unfortunately these things happen when a couple is very close to each other. It seems like he is very young and you know men mature at a much less rate than we women do and that is why he chose not to tell you, he didnt want to hear it.When someone we love lies to us, we feel very hurt and disappointed because we TRUSTED them. We all deal with forgiveness in very different ways. What I have learned about forgiveness is that it truly makes you a much happier person but it has to come from within. When you forgive you have to be prepared to completely forgive and not throw something in the other person’s face later on. You have to learn to trust yourself and let go of that doubt that the person will do it again. You can also forgive and see how you react to your relationship once the healing process begins between the two of you. You can at least say to yourself that you tried if it doesnt work for you. It seems like he is very young and he may have his own problems to deal with. Truly loving each other means talking it out.

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.