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How to recover myself in my hard times?

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryHow to recover myself in my hard times?

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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 30 total)
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  • #114769
    Anya
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    there is no one with whom i can share my feelings, as i don’t feel that someone will understand me.

    I’d a sister who was closed one to me, but now i don’t even share with her my feelings after she hurt me so bad previous year.
    I don’t know with whom i should share all my tears and my pain. Nobody is there for me. I am suffering alone

    #114770
    Anya
    Participant

    if i try to tell my closed friends about my problems i feel like they will think that there would be some fault in me, that’s why i am treated so badly by my loved ones or by my sister.

    Everyone will think that there is problem in me, i am at fault. This is the reason i don’t feel confident in sharing my thoughts and feelings with anyone.

    #114771
    Anya
    Participant

    Dear asian,

    I know you are telling me the truth. I should leave him but the problem is, if i left him. Would he be able to forgive me? Would he realize that whatever he has done to me was not good?

    I want to talk to him peacefully for whatever is going on in a relationship but he gets irritates if i start the topic.
    And that is the reason he now don’t give me chance to talk about any problems, he just wants to be happy. Talks to me little but talks happily. Today when i called him he was talking about the past good memories that we both ate sandwiches at Park and i gave him my own sandwich because he was hungry. I couldn’t controlled my tears and i silently started crying. He said that i am telling you good memories and still you are crying. I said i don’t know maybe i am crying because you remind me what good I’ve done for you in past. He said “yeah you were always sharing things with me.but please don’t cry at this time. I don’t want to see you cry”

    sometimes he acts so nice that makes me difficult to take any decision.

    #114794
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear anyakhan:

    I am sorry you are suffering and feel so alone. I wish you could share your feelings without being afraid to be blamed.

    Best would be if you could attend therapy with a competent psychotherapist who will help you. You do need help and I sure hope you get it.

    Post anytime.

    anita

    #116389
    Anya
    Participant

    Yesterday he abused me again and i cut the call. Now he is calling me should i forgive him and talk to him again or should i not attend the call ?

    #116390
    Anya
    Participant

    He is not sorry for anything he don’t feel that he has done anything wrong

    #116408
    Anya
    Participant

    Why I m stuck ??? why I can’t get over him 🙁 I am just feeling so exhausted

    #116411
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Anya:

    No, you should not forgive him because he did not take responsibility for abusing you. He did not sincerely apologize, he did not say he was going to attend psychotherapy or an anger class so to NOT abuse you verbally, using abusive language.

    You suffered a lot already, don’t invite more suffering by renewing contact with him.

    I think you are stuck because you still need positive attention and love- as humans do. And there is no other candidate at this point to give this to you, so you are stuck on the one that SOMETIMES, in between the abuse, gave you some positive attention.

    Accept the fact that you need positive attention and that he is not a source for it because his abuse negates any such positive attention and it (his abusive talk) hurt you and will continue to hurt you.

    Post anytime.

    anita

    #116449
    Anya
    Participant

    I know that if I broke up with him. it will be hard for me to recover again. I am afraid of situation that how I will face my family and friends. Because nobody knows what situation I’m going through except one of my friend. She is not aware of my whole story but she only knows that I am going through depression due to my relationship. I don’t want anyone to feel sympathy for me. I just want to be strong enough to face my own personal problems.

    #116450
    Anya
    Participant

    Dear anita, I started listening to some positive affirmations for self-love.
    If you would suggest me some other things I should practice to feel better, I would be grateful to you.

    #116458
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Anya:

    I need to understand: is this man abusive to you, verbally or otherwise, recently and at the present time? If so, how is he abusive?

    anita

    #116470
    Anya
    Participant

    yes he is abusive verbally.
    He abuse me by calling name. Or use bad language.
    Today, again he was reminding me of my past mistakes. He said angrily that if i ever again commit any mistake (like done in past), he will leave me forever.

    #116472
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Anya:

    So you are looking for “positive affirmations for self love” and you are looking advice for ” some other things I should practice to feel better”- so that you will not make any more mistakes and prevent him from leaving you?

    anita

    #116474
    Anya
    Participant

    yes anita. I don’t know if m doing right or wrong. Maybe if i start to feel better about myself, it will effect positive on my relationship as well. Is it possible ??

    #116480
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Anya:

    I am sorry, Anya, but … no, it is not possible. Two things are not possible:

    1) It is not possible for you to be mistake-free, to act perfectly- it is not possible for any human being.

    2) It is not possible to make a person stop abusing you by becoming the person you think he wants you to be. He abuses you because he feels like it, not because you deserve it. He abuses you because he is cruel, not because you are imperfect, too sensitive or cry too much.

    — so positive affirmations so to be perfect are not going to make him stop abusing you. The only way to make him stop abusing you is to cut any and all contact with him.

    Post again, anytime.

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 30 total)

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