Hi there,

Lately I’ve been undergoing one of the most intense shake-ups of my life. My partner of 4 years unexpectedly broke up with me, eschewing our plans to move forward and work on our relationship (we had been having problems for about a year but had chosen a clear path forward), my car broke down so I had to sell it for very little money, my computer stopped working, I lost my job, and now my phone has stopped working.

I have to opportunity to move to Dallas (currently in Austin) and move in with my mother while I try to recover finances and whatnot, but this would mean that I would be completely renouncing my whole life down here. I have a close group of friends, room to pursue my hobbies, and live in the perfect location. My ex and I are on very good terms so we have decided to continue living together for the time being, while I get back on my feet. To this end, I’ve been going on multiple job interviews and have begun studying for the LSAT.

I believe that my ex and are truly meant to be together, based on the deepness of our connection and the magical experiences we’ve shared together over the last several years. To be honest, a big part of the demise of our relationship is that I was losing myself in it, making sacrifices of his career over mine. I thought I was doing the loving and correct thing to allow him to follow his dreams while I put mine on the back-burner, but I became increasingly miserable and bitter. I started turning to alcohol to numb the pain.

I know that this breakup is what is necessary for me to get back to myself, but I don’t know how to proceed. If I leave this house I have no feasible option other than to move to another city and in with my mother. If I stay here (it’s already been two months since we broke up) I risk being hurt and not moving on. I risk never getting back together with him. However, I gain exactly the house I want, exactly the room I want, a household that’s filled with music and friends, and the comfort of being in my same city.

I have finally decided to stay here in this house at least for a few more months while I get on my feet. I chose this because moving to Dallas does not feel right, and after years of not knowing what I want, I know I want to live in this house. However, the universe keeps breaking more and more of my stuff. Am I making the right choice? Is the universe just trying to slap me with a 2×4 until I get out of the nest and start a new adventure?

I just don’t know what is right for me.

I’m trying to remain positive and believe that everything will get better with time. I’m trying to let go of my ex and really let him move on with his life as I move on with mine. I’m trying to release the pain and not make reactive choices. I just feel so jaded, confused, and indecisive right now. I don’t know how to proceed. Any thoughts you have on this situation would be very helpful!